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3 kids - 3 lots of homework - Advice please

27 replies

Homealonewithbaby · 24/02/2023 11:03

Hello,

I have 2 very young children and will soon have my third.

Can you please give me realistic advice on how to tackle on my own 3 lots of homework in the afternoons?

Is it feasible? I am sure it is but how do you do it? What age combination was the hardest?

What is your set up?

For example, how you manage homework for a Year 2, Year 4 and Year 6 kid? Or a toddler but Year 1 and Year 3?

Our age gaps between them all is 2 years!

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lechatnoir · 24/02/2023 11:12

Round the table all together, feed baby/ply with snacks and just help where needed. In my experience there really isn't that much unless you are giving them extra. Reading - do it at bedtime little and often definitely better; numbers/times tables do in the car, make part of play (cooking is a good one for this) or get an abacus, games like Shut the Box, Orchard Toys do some fantastic educational toys focusing on things like telling the time, number bonds without them realising they are learning.
Mum of a few but childminder for many years and strong advocate of learning through play

mumoffourminimes · 24/02/2023 11:20

Homework at our primary school is optional and not a lot. We do a bit here and there at weekends. I wouldn't worry about it

EarringsandLipstick · 24/02/2023 11:29

My DC just did their own homework. I've never been involved when they did it. In Ireland so perhaps homework is different but I doubt by much.

I am single parent, work full time so when they were smaller they did what they could when with the childminder / at creche & I checked spellings & reading later.

I always checked in but it's their homework, not mine. I don't see why oh would be a problem at all if you're not working & they are there at home with you.

Sarahcoggles · 24/02/2023 11:38

They shouldn't get much homework at primary school and you can leave it all till the weekend when your husband is around to join in.

Sleepless1096 · 24/02/2023 11:41

I have a baby and young primary child. The way I do it is that we sit down at the table and do the homework the minute we get through the door and snacks/TV only when the homework is done. I feed the baby while supervising homework. We read a story together with the baby before bedtime.

MissSmiley · 24/02/2023 11:50

I have five kids (7 years between them) and I read to them all and listened to them reading but left the homework up to them, I don't really believe in it at primary school, by year three they should understand the consequences of not remembering something they need to do, ie pe kit or homework.

Meandfour · 24/02/2023 12:03

lechatnoir · 24/02/2023 11:12

Round the table all together, feed baby/ply with snacks and just help where needed. In my experience there really isn't that much unless you are giving them extra. Reading - do it at bedtime little and often definitely better; numbers/times tables do in the car, make part of play (cooking is a good one for this) or get an abacus, games like Shut the Box, Orchard Toys do some fantastic educational toys focusing on things like telling the time, number bonds without them realising they are learning.
Mum of a few but childminder for many years and strong advocate of learning through play

This. My children are currently in Y4, reception & preschool. Reading is done before bed individually. They sit at the table all together after school and DD (9) does her homework while DS 5 & 3 do phonics or play a number game or some orchard toys game. I’ll be making dinner so I’m there for assistance if needed. I put snacks on the table and the little ones are free to move onto another game or do something else when they’ve had enough. I’ve done it this way just to get them into the routine of doing their homework straight away school.

Homealonewithbaby · 24/02/2023 12:37

It looks like round the kitchen table and right after school is the magic solution for homework.

Thanks all for your reassurance that we will be fine.

OP posts:
mumoffourminimes · 24/02/2023 12:41

Homealonewithbaby · 24/02/2023 12:37

It looks like round the kitchen table and right after school is the magic solution for homework.

Thanks all for your reassurance that we will be fine.

Until you have after school clubs or go back to work

Meandfour · 24/02/2023 12:43

mumoffourminimes · 24/02/2023 12:41

Until you have after school clubs or go back to work

My children do a fair few clubs between them and they’re all either weekends or after 4.30-5pm.
Optional homework in primary sounds good! DDS school gives her 5 “jobs” to complete at home per week. Usually 2 maths, 2 literacy and reading every night which must be recorded. Over the holidays they have projects.

unfortunateevents · 24/02/2023 12:48

I think you're rather over-thinking this! You don't even have a third child yet and it sounds as if the older two aren't yet in school, do you even know what the homework policy will be in their school - if you even know where they may go to school? It also depends very much on the child. "Homework" for a reception child might well be 10 mins of writing letters and doing flashcards but it might take some children an hour to settle down and actually do the work. Also your older child by then in year 4 might only have two/three sets of homework a week to be done over a few nights and should be perfectly capable of getting on with it for at least those 10 mins you are occupied elsewhere. And as someone already mentioned you will be fitting it around clubs and playdates as well. You'll figure it out when the time comes.

FinallyHere · 24/02/2023 12:52

@Meandfour

I’ve done it this way just to get them into the routine of doing their homework straight away school.

I think this is genius. My mother did her best, but basically let me off any chores if I said I was going to my room to do homework, encouraging me to spin that out as long as possible

Some families did if your way and I think that worked much, much better.

Never told my mother, of course 😀

MangshorJhol · 24/02/2023 13:05

3 kids here. We're in the US but my kids do get homework. My oldest is now almost a teenager so he does his homework in his room, and has to come down and just show me. Otherwise we would do the same, come home, and have a snack, and put all the work out in front of them on the kitchen table. Do the homework, and pack it all away. We're a no/low screen family so once homework is done, everyone is free to play. On the days it's the nanny/grandparents doing the afterschool routine, they stick to the same. It's the same for the weekends- we do a little work/homework straight after breakfast and then everyone is free to play.

The kids play music too and so the way that works is the kids have an early dinner and by then DH and I (or at least one of us is home). They tidy up with us. Then DS1 practises on his own with a little input, I practise with DS2 (20-30 mins), and then start his bedtime with DD (who is a baby). Once DS2 is in bed and stories are done, he gets his own reading time and I do DD's bedtime routine and then I breastfeed her. When that's done, I go say goodnight to DS2 and supervise DS1's music a bit more, listen to where he is etc. And by then usually DH is home and has spent time with DS2 and switched lights off, cooked and cleaned whatever is left downstairs. DS1 usually chats with us a bit and then is sent off to read. DH and I have dinner and then to be honest, we get back to work (we're both academics). On the days DH is home before me the exact same thing happens but with roles reversed (DH practises with them, I come home and do dinner/goodnight for DS2/laundry etc).

Baby DD still wakes to feed so I'm not up very late usually. But once she's older, not breastfeeding and sleeping a little more, the routine will change slightly again.

Homealonewithbaby · 24/02/2023 13:29

Thanks all for your responses!

@MangshorJhol We are also a low/no screen time family! Love your schedule and you sound very well organised.

I know we are not at the homeworkstage yet, but I am worried I won’t be able to manage, hence I made the thread. I also may be a bit hormonal!

Those of you that your kids go to after school clubs, how many days per week they have clubs? I am trying to think of the logistics with 3 kids. And I assume the clubs are all sports/music related, right?

Thanks all for the help to ease my mind!

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TheWayTheLightFalls · 24/02/2023 13:32

I agree with others - you're borrowing trouble! Your first will start school and they will/won't have homework / a lot of homework / a sodding class penguin every third week, and you'll take it from there.

I have a five year old and baby twins. The older one has a ridiculous grasp of reading so basically does her work by herself while I'm lobbing snacks at the younger two, and bigger tasks are a bit of a "ten minutes here ten minutes there" job. As is the case with most aspects of my life tbh!

Always4Brenner · 24/02/2023 13:33

I hated homework from day one at seniors level but did it straight after tea to get out of the way, done every night no leaving till weekend I did work on Friday so no work Saturday or Sunday.

Homealonewithbaby · 24/02/2023 13:35

As for work I am planning to go back after maternity leave but I will be back at home at 3pm every day to collect the kids from school.

Sounds a good arrangement to you? Or should I drop a day too apart from the early finish?

OP posts:
Meandfour · 24/02/2023 13:44

Homealonewithbaby · 24/02/2023 13:29

Thanks all for your responses!

@MangshorJhol We are also a low/no screen time family! Love your schedule and you sound very well organised.

I know we are not at the homeworkstage yet, but I am worried I won’t be able to manage, hence I made the thread. I also may be a bit hormonal!

Those of you that your kids go to after school clubs, how many days per week they have clubs? I am trying to think of the logistics with 3 kids. And I assume the clubs are all sports/music related, right?

Thanks all for the help to ease my mind!

Mine have music lessons at school. 4 days a week we have clubs.

MangshorJhol · 24/02/2023 13:45

@Homealonewithbaby We try so that the kids do a club on the same day so pick up is easier. My older one does most of his clubs in the morning or in the recess/lunch break. Younger one now has one after school club, and two things on a Saturday. Before this they both did something on a Thursday after school, and then different stuff on Saturday. We block out Sunday and don't do anything (and try and say no to Sunday birthday parties as well). So right now Thursday after school is swimming for one kid (DS1 doesn't do swimming classes any more), they do soccer/tennis etc on a Saturday morning and Saturday afternoon/evening the kids have music stuff.

The main principles this operates on is this:

  1. during the week if they have to do after school stuff, if it's on the same day then pick up is easier.
  2. We try to limit after school stuff as well- they come home, do homework/music practice and then mostly play and chill out.
  3. We pack out the Saturdays but we head out as a family- so if DS1 has been dropped at tennis, DS2 and I might go to the park (with the baby), then we pick up DS1 and take DS2 to soccer and DS1 might go play basketball with DH while DD and I head home and then DH brings both boys home for lunch. (Something like this- it changes as the kids get older and when the weather is shit). Same in the evening- when one kid goes to piano lessons, the other gets to do his weekly library run or something like that. Poor DD for now is like a sack of potatoes who gets to come along to everything!
  4. Sundays are for lazy mornings, pancakes, board games, mega sibling fights and everyone needing space from everyone by lunch time (including DH and I sometimes!)
GloomyDarkness · 24/02/2023 13:47

We did a lot of support work and also had a primary with heavy homework load - it was actually a relief when we moved and went to one that set little homework.

I did chalk board list for each child which had to be realistic - and we'd start after a drink and possibly snack be in same room and get down their lists and they'd cross off. Sometimes that could start in the mornings - with reading when they came home very tried - and sometime it would be either side of tea and yes it did have to adapt around clubs/groups and swimming evenings.

At end they got to play on computers or watch TV. It was hard going for me with three but it paid off for them they caught up and got into top sets in secondary.

By secondary it was up to them though I'd wish their school would have set a bit more and they were in their own rooms at desks.

It will depend on the child and school TBH - I'm not sure a lot of the school home work was actually worth doing as fair bit seemed to be busy work rather than practising basics - and you do get into a routine that work for you,

Fundays12 · 24/02/2023 13:51

Sit down together on a designated night or two a week to do homework. My dcs do get a good amount of it but we get 10 days to return it so do it in chunks and it's very well though out homework that does help them learn. They normally do about 30 minute's each time while my youngest age 3 colours, draws, plays, does numbers, letters etc. The other 2 are still in primary school. I do reading daily with the youngest two kids and lots of letters, numbers, phonics, words, cards, books etc. My 11 year old generally does his own homework now.

Fundays12 · 24/02/2023 13:56

Homealonewithbaby · 24/02/2023 13:35

As for work I am planning to go back after maternity leave but I will be back at home at 3pm every day to collect the kids from school.

Sounds a good arrangement to you? Or should I drop a day too apart from the early finish?

Less days are helpful in school holidays but earlier finishes are better in term time. It really depends on how much childcare help you have which suits your family best. I have zero so work weekends

Springintoabetterlife · 24/02/2023 14:11

You need to wait and see what homework they get. In my kids’s school homework is set on a Friday and is due in on Tuesday. There is no way they are capable of doing homework on a Friday and Monday night is beavers nights so with music practice too their is no time for homework on a Monday.

greenacrylicpaint · 24/02/2023 14:13

tbh it the dc homework. not yours.
you provide the time and space.

half an hour round the kitchen table is adequate until secondary school.

TheMagicDeckchair · 24/02/2023 17:21

I have a 5 year old in reception and nearly 2yo twins. She has reading homework each week. It’s a bit chaotic just after school and she’s tired so she usually chills for a bit and we do her reading at bedtime, whilst the other parent deals with the twins.

Re activities- she didn’t do any formal activities until recently. Once the first school term was out of the way she started swimming lessons on a Saturday morning and has just started a dance class on Wednesday teatimes. The activities are only 30 mins. One of us takes her and the other has the twins. I don’t know how we’ll manage when the twins reach this age but we’ll figure it out- they’ll probably do the same activities for a while.