Third baby finances - Advice please

[Sunnydayhappyface]

Hey all,

I read in many posts that the argument against having a third baby is the difficulty on finding hotel rooms, that in airplanes someone sits alone and that there are no discounts for families of 5 in attractions.

Surely these are valid points but to me not justifying enough for not having a third baby.

Space and a car are something to consider but again not a huge problem.

To me, things like university fees, school fees/activities/extra tuition support if needed, save to give them money for a house deposit, buy them a car and help with their wedding are the big things that at the moment I am struggling with.

Also, surely nursery fees are a lot but if you space kids cleverly it’s not a big deal in my mind. Also this stage lasts only a couple of years!

Am I wrong?

You're not wrong at all but sometimes people don't have the time to space their kids due to circumstances or end up with twins/triplets and a 13 month old.
We had our first two mid to late twenties with exactly 2.5 years between them. Then had our third when older two were 8 and 5. We thought about it for a very long time because my kids are not the best sleepers which is why we had second close enough to first.
Childcare was costing us just over €2k a month and we were just getting paid just to pay it out. Now I earn almost 3x and have no childcare for the older two as they stay for homework club 2-3x a week and DH wfh and collects during his lunch break. Only the baby cost around €550/month for 3 days as I work shift.

Like you said I never thought of holidays as a reason not to have my third. As a child I went on holidays, had nice things but really wanted a sibling. I still feel it now but I'm used to it. I'm very outgoing and self dependent as a result and people are suprised to hear I'm an only child due to only child stereotypes. I just pay extra for holidays and baby will be over 2 when we go to Portugal this year and it cost I think an extra 30% more.
With childcare, university, driving school etc we took into consideration when talking about having kids.
I have found places do 'family with up to 3 kids' so not unheard of.

I think there's also the worry of having a child with disabilities especially if you've got two children then a third is a luxury or what if you have twins or triplets? My third def feels like a luxury if I'm honest, and we're enjoying it.

The laundry is unreal tho 🤣 or maybe my kids just like to change their clothes a lot. Between uniforms, sports gear, home clothes, we're washing every 2-3 days.

Regarding cars, we have two hatchbacks. Two older in high back boosters and I'm in the middle and baby is belted rearfacing. We don't need to move as we have enough room for everyone tho older two prefer to share.
Career-wise I probably am at 1 level below where I should be but I'm happy with that. I'm hoping once the baby fog clears I'll take on some CPD courses and hopefully continue progressing.
Apologies, I've written an essay 😂 now you can only imagine the thoughts going on in my mind about having a third.

This is my thinking as well. We are looking at maybe having a third. We thought about it years ago and talked ourselves out of it. But now our boys are 10 and 7 and I'm only 30, the nagging feeling is still there, surely if the feeling keeps popping up every year or so it's something that should be followed? We would only have one more kid. As for ages gaps, we are at the stage now where my siblings and husbands friends are starting their families, so I'd like to think that they will have cousins with a close age gap.