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Why is my mind going there again..(4th baby)

4 replies

Loulou946 · 18/01/2023 14:05

Our 3rd child is 3yrs 3 months. I feel like we’re getting to that sweet point where we’re almost toilet trained, dummy’s almost gone, naps will likely follow soon & he understands so much more. And things are about to get a whole lot easier again 🤞🏻.

so why am I having thoughts of another baby! I guess it’s probably because things are getting easier & our baby is growing up.
it had crossed my mind before & we considered whether we would have a 4th and decided no we wouldn’t, all the usual
reasons- no bedroom for them, although a playroom! Money stretching further, nursery costs (again!) all the baby years again, things been put on hold & having to work around a baby’s schedule & lots of other reasons.
We considered it as there’s a 6yr gap between our middle & youngest, so it had crossed our minds whether to have another closer age to him.

I’ve felt very happy with my 3 & where as when considering our 3rd I’d be in meltdown when we were going back & forth on whether to have a 3rd & couldn’t let it go despite trying too for 2yrs! (Hence the gap) this time I was quite happy to say no more now.

but like I say the thought has crossed my mind more recently & over the last couple of weeks it keeps popping into my head.

I don’t even know why, it’s just like an urge, must be maternal instinct or something.
we have 3 boys, but I’m really not fussed about having a girl, I was at one point but I came to terms with that before trying for our 3rd, I didn’t want to try until I was genuinely happy with boy or girl.
and I still feel that way thankfully, so it’s not that.

the baby & toddler years are so hard & I have 3 children (which is plenty really!) So why would I be half considering it!

anyway I’ve just turned 37 so Im way past MY personal set point for being finished having babies.
is it just normal to have these feelings as your children get older?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
ZooMount · 21/01/2023 14:59

You sound just like me a year or so ago... Couldn't get the thought out of my mind but kept putting it off before eventually decided to go for it and now dc4 arrived earlier this month and I can't imagine not having them here. So glad I went for it (I was 37 when conceived too) and although it's hard I just can't believe how much love I have for my little family. I wish I had just done it sooner though, as eventually left a 5 year gap through indecision.

Codlingmoths · 21/04/2023 06:18

I feel this way but i am 40 now and I don’t like the extra risks. But I think about it every day. Dc3 is 14 months.

VladimirVsVolodymyr · 24/04/2023 23:07

Gosh I don't envy you at all as I know how encompassing it can be when you start having these thoughts.
My third is turning 2 next month and nope I'm done! I felt incomplete having 2 and the thought of 4 too many (not sure why as any number over 2 is two many 🤣.
Best of luck with your decision.

Ifallelsefailschocolate · 24/04/2023 23:49

I adore my four children, all grown up to be gorgeous, happy young adults now. No one could ever have talked me out of planning each one of them! Yet I can in hindsight (always a wonderful thing!) say that whether you choose to have three , or plan a fourth child, planning ahead practically and financially is very important to deal with the roller coaster ride that you are going on!
When our four precious young teens and adults sometimes struggled through life , it has sometimes been exhausting as we had less resources ( time, finances, family support ) than our friends with smaller families .

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