Talk to me about having 3 children..?

[heartbroken22]

Currently pregnant with 3rd and I'm thinking how will I share the love. I'm terrified. Dd1 will be 6 and dd2 will be 2 and a half when baby arrives. I hope they all get along. First 2 kids are fine with each other.

@kopiy

its a global issue
if people want more kids than two adopt one of the many kids in care

what's a global issue @Justellingthetruth

The countries that still have high birth rates have nothing like the carbon footprint as those in the west.

The problem in the west is an ageing population, so what do you suggest?

@kopiy

well continuing global
population growth isn’t the issue and your reference to those countries having low CO2 footprints is not relevant on a global scale.

so I made a suggestion.

and no I do t support Knocking off the old rather people being less selfish about the number of children they have especially in the west.

If you were being entirely pragmatic about the matter rather than ideological, then I think you might find that it was actually better for fewer families to have far more children than limit family size to two. In having larger families you could reduce the net carbon footprint for each individual child because larger sibling sets could share fewer resources - shared clothing, toys, books, heated spaces, transport.

But I have no truck in dictating family shape in any way - because I'm not prone to megalomania.

and no I do t support Knocking off the old rather people being less selfish about the number of children they have especially in the west.

this is incoherent.

You talked about population control. In the U.K. it's not been caused by people having being selfish & having too many children. What part of that don't you understand?

@FourTeaFallOut

not that atall just a ecological fact that’s all but you do make sense on the larger families but that seems very unfair versus allowing all to have two

your reference to those countries having low CO2 footprints is not relevant on a global scale.

How is it not relevant when discussing climate change? 😆

@Justellingthetruth do you know what the birth rate is?

It's 1.56

So you actually want people to have more children?

@kopiy

not relèvent your point as the co2 effects the global climate.

so you point was rather incorrect.

you seem very defensive is theirs because you have a lot of children and feel defensive of your actions and the effects?

Fair? What's fair got to do with it?

Fair is starting a thread on AIBU about population size and not wading on to the larger family board to shoot your mouth off at a pregnant woman with your own polemic.

You're not making any sense.

I have two dc but am concerned about the general lack of planning for the demographic shift in this country & how so much of the population don't understand which of course allows the gov to sit on their hands.

you seem very defensive

well that's ironic 😆

@FourTeaFallOut quite!

@heartbroken22 hello! I'm pregnant with my third, currently 12 weeks.

Occasionally have moments of worry too, but then the other two will be 5 and 3 when and in full time school and nursery once baby is about 4 months. I think those first 4 months could be a sh*tshow lol. But looking forward to being a bigger family overall, and definitely not having anymore children!!

@Justellingthetruth ah bless you. Unfortunately you've oversimplified how population growth works. The UK has not replaced its population since 1976, this is why we rely on immigration.

There is also the issue of declining fertility in both men and women worldwide.

For every woman who has two or more children there will be others who have less, or are unable to children, or choose not to have children.

Overall it tends to balance out, but globally the bigger picture is that population is declining.

Unfortunately you aren't the conception police so do one.

OP I found the jump from 1-2 harder than 2-3. Activities are a pain you're rushing from one to the other so as they get older I'd recommend being super organised. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and try to filter out the uterus police as it's crass and unhelpful and unwanted on a post where the mother is already pregnant.

@Justellingthetruth
Wow.
Just wow.

I'm not going to abuse you - that's not the way I live my life, but perhaps you do need to grow up a little and understand people and emotions a bit more?

If you want to start a discussion on such controversial politics as dictating how many children anyone can have, can I suggest you start your own goady thread and not post such a batshit suggestion on the thread of a person who is already pregnant with her third much loved and much wanted child.

@reviewpreview

bless you as you utterly missed the point as was about global poplulation not your narrow UK view/comment

and yea isn't the current uk replacement rate needed 2.14

but directionally you get my point on over population and environmental issues at 8 Billion on the planet

so if every one has 3 kids we are in a selfish mess.

so if every one has 3 kids we are in a selfish mess

Most people don't have three, not because they are selfless heroes but because raising three children requires more time, effort and money than one or two children.

The wordle fertility rate is 2.4 children. It reduces every year. In developed countries the replacement rate stands at 2.1, in undeveloped counties where child mortality is higher, it can be as high as 3.5.
The global total fertility rate was 2.4 in 2019. The population is not growing as a result of fertility rates but because people are living longer.

Where children mortality in is low and access to contraception is high, women typically choose to have smaller families. A small population of outlier families who choose to have three children anyway are not tipping the world fertility balance towards growth.

Wordle fertility rate! 😂 Off for a coffee!

That's why I had four🤣

Oh for goodness sake @Justellingthetruth stop hijacking this thread. You sound like an ideological teenager with climate angst - even Greta Thunberg hopes to have kids one day (as mentioned on the How to Fail podcast).

Go and make yourself a cup of tea and watch a few Hans Rosling videos on population growth. That might calm you down.

@heartbroken22 sorry your thread has been hijacked. How are you feeling about things? How far along are you?

I mentioned upthread I'm 12 weeks with my third (scan next Tuesday), I feel like as I progress I'm getting a tiny bit more excited and bit less dread about it all, but I have definitely searched old mumsnet posts and YouTube about looking after three and what to expect.

I think the slight fear (for me anyway) is that I don't know anyone else with three or is expecting a third, so it feels like quite a leap to deviate from the norm of one or two kids.

If your eldest is at school, will much of the weekdays feel like when you had two before? Except this time with drop off and pick up squeezed in?

In some ways I'm hoping it might be easier with the elder two being able to play together while I feed etc.

Anyway, I hope you're feeling better about things - it's been reassuring that I'm not the only one that's had a bit of worry about having a third. I think it's probably quite normal!

Here we have 6, 4 and 6 months.
Early weeks were hard but then I am no fan of newborn days.
Getting easier and the two eldest are lovely, helpful and play nicely together!