HELP! How to introduce my Son to the new baby

[MrsRose2018]

Hi

I’m due end of December by which time my Son will be 2 1/2. He’s an astonishingly kind, loving and friendly little boy but is also going through a bit of a rough patch developmentally, mainly since starting toddlers/nursery a few months ago!

He throws multiple tantrums, sometimes demonstrating unkind behaviour (hitting/pulling hair/biting and generally being very upset and emotional especially if he doesn’t get his own way. I guess standard toddler stuff?

In partnership with his nursery we are rigorously working on all of the above however I am starting to get very anxious about the new baby arriving.

I had planned on just winging introducing him to his new brother and just making sure to not force the situation and just make sure he knows he’s still unconditionally adored by us and nothing can change that but I think I just need to put a bit more thought into it.

Does anyone have any advice or tips on how to make the transition easier?

TIA x

I would put baby in crib with a present in crib from the baby to your older son. Then walk together to the crib saying someone is so excited to get to meet his big brother.
I always think not to hold the baby the first time he sees him but to make a huge fuss of the eldest
its natural to feel this way but it will be lovely 😊

@cathycake I like that idea! kind of like neutral territory! Lovely idea about the present!

Any idea what to do If the baby isn't settled enough to be calm in the crib on their own at the time they meet though 🤔

I was advised to keep it low key and not give any present or anything and keep baby in a neutral place for first introduction which worked really well for us. DD just wanted the reassurance that her world was still safe and this really helped and she showed an interest when she was ready after wanting to do some colouring together first !!
I also referred to DS as ‘our baby ‘ while pregnant in hope of including her , not sure if this was useful but she did refer to him as such too. It was all so lovely and they are now quite a lot older and very close

My DS was 2.2 when younger sibling came along. DH went and collected DS and bought him to the hospital (we were on 6 hour discharge). Baby bought DS a present, DS shared some of the toy with his sibling and put it in the cot. When we left shortly after DS helped DH carry baby in car seat carrier to the car.
Once home baby was introduced as DS's baby and we insisted visitors made a fuss of DS first

If baby isn’t settled turn it so that the reason is why is because he wanted to meet his big brother so much. I would always give 95% attention to the older one so they feel not left out.
eg Getting them to pass a nappy and HUGE praise .. WOW You Are SO HELPFUL - you are the best Thank You .. (cue hug and kiss)
It will come naturally to you I promise. X

If baby is unsettled and another adult there I would see if someone else could help for a few mins just as those first few mins of really hugging your older one and focussing solely on them can be so calming and help them with the change and to accepting baby .

My son was this age when our new baby arrived. We just went with the flow, didn’t force the situation and also done the gift from baby. If the baby is unsettled at the time ask your son if he wants to help rock/sing to the baby. I thought my son would have been a little jealous to start with but from day one he surprised us wanting to give cuddles all time, help with feeding n making bottles etc(let him put the scoops in. Just try including him in things you’re doing with baby even small things like passing wipes. We also kept some sweets and chocolates near the stairs so if people were coming with gifts for the baby they could also give our son a sweetly or bar of chocolate so he didn’t feel left out, although we didn’t really need to as most people brought a little thing for him too

My eldest was 5yo when 2nd was born. She picked out a present for him which she gave to him when she came into the hospital to meet him. And when she came back home from nans after i was diacharged a few days later there was a big present for her 'from the baby'. Helped to keep her entertained while i was with the baby etc