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Shall I have baby 3 or consider an abortion?
2

Ani57 · 02/08/2022 21:50

We have just found out that we are (very unexpectedly) expecting our 3rd baby, due when our other two will be nearly 3 and nearly 5. I have always wanted a 3rd but my husband was a definite no and I was coming to accept that. I thought I would be thrilled with the idea of number 3 but have felt the exact opposite … dread at having to begin the newborn stage again, cancel plans for next year, generally disrupt all our lives. I am worried that we could have a baby with health problems and selfishly that the extra expense of a third will give us a worse quality of life.

This is really making me consider not going through with this pregnancy and my feelings have really shocked me. I just don’t know what to do. I love my 2 so so much and know in my heart that I would love this one just as much but I just feel very confused. Anyone else had / not had a third child after considering it and what are your feelings about it? Any regrets?

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themonitor · 03/08/2022 16:36

Hi OP,

How old are your existing children? And how old are you at the moment? And what's your set up etc. as I think this all matters.

This happened to us recently and I did have an abortion. It's only been a few weeks so I'm not entirely sure yet if it was the right decision - I was adamant beforehand that it was, but post abortion it's been quite tough for us and emotions around have swung from extremes - from feeling like maybe it was just meant to be and our kids are growing g up so quickly another would have been nice etc. to we would have been anxious about everything going smoothly third time round, finances, car, our relationship and existing kids could be both positively and negatively affected etc etc.

I know it's said often but only you can decide.

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themonitor · 03/08/2022 16:42

Oh sorry you said they are 3 and 5 years old. I don't think that's too large an age gap if that was something you are worried about (it would have been the same for us). But I k ow what you mean about coming out of that baby stage in life and on to slightly easier terrain.

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