This is really long and all over the place. So I do apologise.
My husband is pretty close to his family. He has one brother who is married with kids who lives opposite his mum and dad. We lived with his mum and dad and then moved out after 2 years. He used to spend most evenings with his dad to work on family business on top of his own full time job. This eased soon after we moved out. We are just under 2 miles away now and my motherinlaw still classes that as 'far away'. My husband has his own business which he started from his shed at his parents house.
So after we moved out he was still going there to work with his dad and could pop in whenever he wanted to when his mum would be there. After the birth of our child he changed his working hours to come home early at 3 so he could play with his son etc.. When our son would go to sleep he would spend his time on his ipad or messaging his family who are on whatsapp and have family groups etc... I'm not part of all family groups. His dad tends to call often. He goes out on walks and I see him on his phone again most likely to his family.
He's never really interested in anything I say. He's focussed on his businesses etc...
His parents are generally okay and ofcourse compliment him alot. His brother and sisterinlaw have an attitude and tend to display that towards me whenever I see them.
To be honest I am always tired (low iron and on tabs, breastfeeding toddler, cook daily, he helps me once weekly to clean kitchen, and washes evening dishes some days when I put toddler to sleep), feel like I can't keep on top of cleaning as standards are high and most importantly I feel very lonely. I think I'm used to being physically alone but feel like I'm made to feel alone by his sisinlaw and the fact that I can never please his mum. And he doesn't exactly help either.
Both my parents have passed away. My brother and his family are far away and even then we don't have a close relationship. I don't feel a part of my husband's family and have had to change a lot. I still see them, have never spoken back to anyone and have been civil towards them. Many weekends my motherinlaw has some get together or some other plans which means I can't plan much.
My husband also works sundays and encouraged me to do a course which would mean that I can help him on top of my part time job which I have done.
He has now moved to a new premise as space was getting tight and that premise is near our house (so under 2 miles to his parents). As he has moved out from his parents shed workwise he was very emotional today as likely his mum would've been very emotional. He came home clearly visible he had been crying and is in a separate room.
I feel absolutely heartless and probably am because I do not understand their tears. I do not have anyone empathising with me. He can see his parents (may be not daily like previous), he can call and text his parents but I can't do anything like that. No one empathises with me. For his parents I am putting effort towards their birthdays, but my parents birthdays just go by with him asking me what I want to do and doing things.
How do I change the way I feel? I feel I've just become cold-hearted and possibly jealous as I'm alone and still see him in a better position than me. I don't have anyone technically, whereas he has his whole family. I cant even have a conversation with him without getting blamed in return. When I mentioned he was really messy he said I that I am not extremely clean either. So that was the end of that conversation as he's not wrong though he completely missed where I was coming from. So I just have to suck it up and not complain again. We argue every day multiple times a day and I genuinely feel like I don't know what to do. He's a great person generally always right but I just cant understand some things.