What made you want baby number 5!

[Mummy289]

Im pretty sure I have gone mad 😂. Last year finding out I was having baby number 4 I freaked! Didn’t know how I would cope and felt I was starting again (10,9 and 6 year old). Now we have a lovely 8 month old, and I would love one more, close in age esp as im nearer to 37!
I can’t really and it’s a stupid idea but omg I would love to do it all over again. I think as well having one baby at home im finding weird as my other 3 were so close in age.
We have a big enough car but not a big enough house 😂🤦🏼‍♀️. Living space is fine it’s mainly the bedrooms and I can’t see us ever moving from here as it’s our dream home and can’t afford to move or extend. (Only a 3 bed).
So it’s a stupid idea and maybe I just feel sad knowing I truely had my last baby. However I can’t stop this yearning for one more. Been with my husband for 19 years now. I think I feel it’s now or never although I have pcos and my first 3 I needed help to have the fourth was a miracle.
Sorry think I just needed to say it 😂

No thoughts other than sounds horribly crowed already with 2 kids to a bedroom, how would 5 children of quire different ages and assume genders fit into two bedrooms ?

Surely you're going to have to move ah some point with 6 people in a 3 bed?

You have four children - eventually going to be teens - living in a 3 bed house. Every child you have divides your resources (emotional, practical, Financial) even further, for them. Think about what is truly best for them rather than your wanting another pregnancy and infancy all
over again?

I'd say don't do it. What would happen if after number 5 you want another? Where does it end? There's currently 6 of you in a 3 bed house and in 4 years time you will have two teenagers. I'd say enjoy the children that you have. Yea you have gone mad 😂

For my mum she felt it was the last chance, she always wanted a large family, she loved being pregnant, we had a large house.
My youngest sister was a very difficult baby, child and now adult. That was the luck of the draw, but it changed the family dynamic hugely.
Be careful what you wish for.

At some point you will have had your last baby. Why not now?
You are very fortunate to have four healthy children. Focus on them and their needs. Not just financial and practical, but emotional as well.

I think LOTS of women feel like this. If you’re lucky enough to really enjoy the baby/toddler stage it’s really hard to accept you’ll never do it again.

I loved the 6-18 month stage and would love to do it again but I have three already. My children are still young they’re 7, 5 and the youngest is only 3 but I find trying to give each one enough time so hard.

There is a real sadness that comes from knowing you will never be pregnant again, never experience the thrill of seeing your newborn for the first time and those special early days, and you’ll never watch all the ‘firsts’ again, but at some point you have to do it for the last time and accept life is moving on to the next stage.

Your children are still going to need you as they get older, it will just be in a different way to having little children.

No way. I couldn't be arsed at all. The homework drives me up the wall, the constant worry when they're out with friends, the lack of freedom. I dunno, I absolutely love my kids so much but I wouldn't want any more. Life is already gonna get tough for families this year (and beyond)

Can you be a brilliant and supportive mother to five children?

I think the more children you have the more you need to take into account how the other children will be affected. As a pp said, with each child you are dividing time and resources. And what I always wonder when someone is having their fourth, fifth or sixth - are you just banking on your child being healthy, able bodied and slotting in easily with everything?
I have a severely disabled nephew, who requires care that is very time consuming and intensive. He is the second of two children. They are both amazing, have a great bond and DSis and BIL have an amazing family life even though they deal with challenges for sure - but I don’t see how on earth it would all be manageable if my second nephew had actually been born the 5th of 5 children. I don’t know how he could have been adequately supported in terms of space, care and time and how my DSis and BIL would be able to give the other hypothetical 3 along with my other nephew the time and attention they need.

I know people with bigger families in three bedrooms. They organise it so they have a boys' room and a girls' room.

I never found more than four significantly divided my attention. They gain a lot from siblings and have never lacked for full focus. Even when special needs exist.

I did make sure mine all had their own rooms but there are plenty of people who never have their own room. You know your situation best, so need to base your decision on that, not what other people have done.

There are too many people on the planet as it is ffs. Just stop.

Just to throw an opposite opinion into the mix, I'm the oldest of 5 children. My mum is really close to all of us. We grew up in a a bed house. Eventually we did convert a downstairs room into a bedroom but none of us ever remember it being a problem.

Obviously just because it was fine for me, doesn't mean it would be fine for everyone, but I definitely wouldn't change it!

Honestly I think larger families get a hard time from people who don't have one. It's impossible for them to understand how it works so you won't get a balanced argument.
I would recommend joining the Facebook group large families 4 or more children living in the U.K. - you'l get responses from people who actually have 5 and how they make it work.
I am currently pregnant with number 5, my children are 10, 8, 4 and 3. I have always wanted a family on the larger side. Some days can be tuff - like they can be with one child, but generally I love it and wouldn't have it any other way. Only you know what will or won't work for your family. Xx

There’s a climate crisis caused or at least exacerbated by too many people yet still there is this. Don’t parents of large families who want yet more, care?

I find it awkward discussing having a big family as there's so much judgment but I adore having 5 children, it's hectic, busy and exhausting but so worth it. We had the space in the house, the finances and the room in the car, I suppose it's important you think about how you'd manage with 3 bedrooms though (we have five and are extended to have another 2 bedrooms). Also, if you have a 7 seater be mindful there's no bloody boot space with all 7 seats up, we're switching to a 9 seater for that reason.

Oh and I really love 7under11 on Instagram. I resonate with so much of what she says and I love watching how down to earth she is with having a large family.

This probably isnt the best place to get opinions as its really judgy.
I have 5 kids and don't regret it in the slightest.
We have a 3 bed, 3 storey house and the kids room is actually bigger than our bedroom. They won't all live at home forever so I wouldn't worry too much about that.

I agree with the car comment above, there is no boot space. We got a stroller so it'll fit then have a proper buggy as well. Got a roofbag for holidays.

Ultimately only you and your husband can decide. After our 4th I said I was done but my OH says he didn't feel done(first 2 from previous relationship) then suddenly 1 day I was really broody and changed my mind. Got my coil out and was pregnant straight away.
I would also be wary of getting your hopes up, you could decide to have another but with the pcos it might not happen, how would you feel then??

I'm definetly done, I know DD4 is my last and I cherish her more because of that. I had my first at 18 and last at 31 and my body hated it! My hips and knees couldn't take the extra weight. Good luck with whatever you decide x

Thanks @Jas5mum and @PumpkinDart for your replies have to say I was too scared too look incase it was really negative as seems a hate for big families. Weirdly since writing this my broodyness for another one has gone. Maybe it was hormones? I love all 4 but feel for us that enough. I think I will always miss the magic time of being pregnant and meeting your baby for the first time etc.
Weirdly we have a 8 seater van style mpv so car we are fine, it’s mainly the house. I’m also 36 and I think that’s another factor that made me feel now or never as wouldn’t want to start all over again in 4 years time.
I love having a big family, it’s only us and the kids and I really hope they grow up close and have each other. We always go out as a family. However I feel really settled that we won’t have any more. Thank you everyone :)

Yes join the Facebook group large families uk, I’m on there and full of large families who have 5 and over

Mumsnet is awful for being judgemental about larger families. I especially wish people making unpleasant comments on here would avoid posting on this topic (even hide if it's going to make you cry to read about people having more babies than you are comfortable with).

Fwiw, I have two and I don't want any more. But we are already at below replacement levels in the UK, so the gnashing of teeth about large families can probably stop for a bit. At least on this topic (which again, I would avoid if I found it distressing )

I'm 1 of 6 and had the best childhood. Now I'm a mum I have no idea how my parents did it as I'm done with two but everyone is different. No judgement here, if you provide a loving family for all then you're good

Agreed

We have 5 (11yr old, 10yr old, 10yr old dsd, 6yr old and 19m old) and I love them all. I had that overwhelming urge for 1 more and I went with it and had him.
I don't regret it at all.
We are in a small 3 bed house, the girls share and the boys share, youngest is still with me in my room but will share with my other 2 boys when he's around 2.
As long as they have their own bit of space and you can give them some time each, why not?

You haven’t parented teens yet. Totally different skill set.