Mixed feelings about DH vasectomy

[Aseagullatemybaby]

We’re 3 young children in, so happy and felt done with having more. However, he’s just had his date come through for the vasectomy and surprisingly I’m devastated.. almost mourning the fact I won’t have anymore children.

I never thought I’d feel like this, has anyone else felt like this? Where they thought they was ready but shocked to feel doubt?

DH is set on having it so there isn’t much I can do about it.

Yes,it lasted 2 days then followed by relief as it was very important I didn't get pregnant again.

I had a vasectomy (all went wrong massive complications wouldn't recommend it to anyone ) 200% didn't we didn't want anymore .
But after can't explain but really struggle with the fact no was no longer an option . Even though didn't want anymore and would of be horrified at a pregnancy .
I think it's the fact you permanently shut the door on something that has always been a choice not the fact you regret the decision .

A hear you both thank you.

Yes maybe I just need to get my head around it, I don’t have great pregnancies or births (hyperemesis, SPD, 3rd DC ended in csection after 2 previous natural labours) so my body feels like it’s done however my heart has atleast another child in it I feel, I’ve only just felt this now seeing the letter though 😪

I feel you op. I had a womb ablation yesterday to treat my heavy and painful periods that cause me to be unwell, low iron ect. Spent the days leading up to it really sad that I won't be able to have any more children, even though I 100% don't want anymore (I have 5, so more than enough!)

I think its knowing the choice will be taken away. You know you don't want anymore but having the option removed makes you worry incase you changed your mind!

My partner is booked in for one tomorrow and I could have written exactly what you have.
I think it’s more difficult as he’s got 2 (fairly young!) DC but I don’t, and feel so devastated.
Its crazy because initially I’d assumed he’d already had one, and he’s always said he doesn’t want any more children and I thought I was fine with it.

I had my heart set on 5 kids. After #4 my DH says no, I'm 44 ( I was 28) and that's it. He went and requested a vasectomy. When the appointment came through I was DEVOED. I cried on the qt every day for 3 months. The DH was adamant. The night before he said he knew I had been crying, nobody had that much hay fever in Winter. He said he would cancel it. I had a massive moment of clarity and realised that he was prepared to do that for me, even though it went against what he wanted. Plus, cold feet 😂. I drive him to the appointment and made a fuss of him afterwards and I just knew it was the right thing for us. I still got broody occasionally but it was absolutely the best thing for us. 12 years on we've got a 1 yo grandson and are looking at holiday homes abroad. I love my life, the freedom, no more regular childcare, last minute holidays etc.

Same as you op. We have 3 children, the 3rd being unplanned. It threw us into a panic when I got a positive test and we eventually decided to go through with the pregnancy. Husband was determined he was getting a vasectomy all the way through my pregnancy and I thought I was ok with it but I was so upset when he had it done. I know it’s the right thing for us, my last pregnancy was shocking and I don’t think I am physically or mentally able to have another child so I was surprised at the level of sadness and regret I felt. It’s easing off now and whilst I’ll always be sad not to have another baby or be pregnant again, I’m looking forward to all the next stages with my children.

He has made the choice that is right for him, you do actually still have the choice to have more children that door remains open, with another partner or via sperm donation, but presumably your choice is to remain with your current partner.

For me knowing I had the choice, and I was choosing the current family and relationship provides a lot of comfort against that feeling of being cornered into no more children.

Thanks everyone. He’s definitely my lobster so I won’t be going anywhere else to have babies, like I say, im so happy with our life and our beautiful children, it’s just going to take a lot of getting used to that I will never have another baby.

@devonianBiatch i love that.. so what I need to be focussing on is fun unprotected sex with hubby, holidays, normal sized cars, full nights sleep and finally get my body back (still breastfeeding) 😅

I'm so proud that my husband had his vasectomy and made no fuss. Our last was a surprise. To be honest I was sag that he started to speak about having it done after the second and would have felt like you have having a third and a little boy after two girls has made me complete!

Oh my goodness I could have written this post! I am breastfeeding my third child, 8 month old who was prem following a difficult pregnancy. We have two boys and a girl, so both genders, and our house has enough bedrooms for our 3 kids. Our life is full of love and we decided no more, so hubby got a vasectomy two months after our third . Yet I feel sad. I feel sad as I’ll never have a baby in my tummy again. I feel sad as I never got to keep the gender a suprise. I feel sad that i won’t ever hold a teeny tiny body in arms again. It’s completely irrational as I don’t want any more kids but still feeling sad .