How much harder does it get going from 2 kids to 3?

[ViMa1820]

Heyyyy

Basic drilldown:

Have two beautiful girls (3yrs and 1.5yrs), they are hilarious and funny and good girls, but literally DO NOT STOP. From the minute they wake up (6.30 AM!) to bedtime 7-7.30pm. Littlest has an hour midday so get a little light relief at that point but that's not gonna be happening for much longer, maybe got another year left of daytime naps for her?

Anyway, hubby wants another baby. We always said we'd have 3 (compromise as he would have 4 if he could). But I honestly don't know how I'd do it? I'm worn out now with 2, I don't really have any helpers as my beloved mum passed away last year and all other grandparents either don't live locally or aren't able to help often.

My eldest starts school next year so wouldnt be properly thinking about it until then, but it's on my mind all the time.

I'd like another, but I have so many worries about not coping, not having space, not having any adult time, not being able to be the best I can be, how expensive it will be, my mental health, not coping without my mum.....

Please, honest opinions....those with a 3rd, do you kinda wish you'd stuck at 2? Did you have the same worries? Is it really hard?
Or has the third just slotted in along with everything else?

Help me find some kind of direction. Because I know I'll always want another - but am scared I'll regret it also.

Thanks 😊

3 and 1.5 are hard ages. I now have that plus a 5 yo- it actually feels easier than when I just had 3 and 1.5. I think a mixture of the 5yo being rewarding and the current 1.5 year old being much less of a pest than dc2 was as a toddler.

I had 3 under 5 and found that it was chaotic with 2 little ones and adding number 3 didn’t really seem to make it much worse. 1-2 I found harder and 2-3 not such a shock.

I've got 5 kids and going from 2 to 3 was a breeze. So long as you have a car that can fit 3 car seats and enough room in your house it will be fine

I found 3 my easiest number and loved it! I now have 5

Yes, found 1-2 MUCH harder than 2-3. Third one just slotted in to the mix.

They are 17, 15 and 12 now and it feels like a narrower choice with cars (great not having car seats, but 3 “big kids” don’t want to be cramped in the back). Holidays as well much more expensive when there are too many of you for a standard family room. Plus one of us always has to sit on their own on theme park rides 😬

I love it though. Feel like it’s just the right amount of chaos to keep me on my toes and make for a fun and lively household. Four would tip the balance too much towards absolute chaos for me!

We have 3 aged 5, 3 and 9 months. Going from 1 to 2 was harder than 2 to 3. Probably not helped by covid lockdowns though so I’ve been embracing my mat leave this time round! DH really wanted a third and I was surprised to find that I wasn’t done either (I am now though!!) Yes it’s hard and we are in the depths of sleep deprivation, weaning and toddler tantrums but the older two are starting to play together now (although they do fight as well). I know it’s a cliche that you never regret the children you have but for us it’s true. Our 3yo was a bad sleeper and I was worried with another baby that I’d regret it and accuse DH of being responsible for us having another one and having more night wakes etc. but I have never ever regretted it for one minute. I feel like our family is complete now and yes it’ll be harder to travel and do stuff because things are made for a family of 4 but I find now that I don’t really care. I love seeing all three kids together and can’t wait until the baby is running around with the older two. I think if we hadn’t tried for a third I would have regretted it. If we’d tried and it hadn’t happened I would have been ok though. For me I told DH we could try for a year but I wasn’t going to try indefinitely as I turn 40 this year. Luckily for us it happened really quick. It’s a very personal decision but we’ve found that DC3 has just slotted into our family!

Going from 2-3 was much harder. Also, it is a whole extra person to raise so as the children get older there is always some kind of issue, or several on the go - dealing with teachers, managing activities and social lives, meetings, fundraising and other commitments related to school/other activities, developmental phases eg. teenage challenges or health issues to deal with.

There are some incredibly awesome things about having three children but there just are more things that need to be attended to.

We're thinking about a 3rd, got a 5 and 7 year old both in school.
I hate it when ppl say uni fees as an argument,u don't have to go to uni to be successful, my husband earns very good money in construction, never went to uni. I work nights, so no childcare fees.
Going 1-2 easy, I found 0-1 much harder.