Unexpected no 5!

[Vie8126]

So I just found out I'm pregnant with a 5th 6 months after giving birth to number 4. Not sure how I feel haven't told DP yet either.

We wasn't trying but I wasn't on contraception and we've not been as diligent as we should have. We hadn't written off another one but it wasn't on the radar at all. I'm 41 next month and on maternity leave. I csnt imagine the other kids being pleased about it as much as they love their little brother I'm not sure they will be happy about another sibling, dp is under relentless pressure at work and about to start a 6 year degree.

My other kids are 21, 17 and 13. The 21 year old lives by himself the 17 year old spends most his time with their dad now so it tends to just be us and the 13 year old but even she is out with her friends a lot. So I almost think of ds being a bit of an only anyway so be nice for him to have a sibling close in age.

I cant imagine work being impressed either they didn't replace me and its been a struggle for them so kbow they are desperate for me to come back. I would only be back for about 44 working days as I'm term time only and doing a 4 day week.

We don't have the room and already contemplating building work or moving to gain extra room so dps daughter can have her own room when she comes to stay. I guess the babies could have a bigger room together and by the time the babies are 5 and 6 my 2 that are at home will be 22 and 18 so could potentially not be here anyway. How do you even manage with babies 15 months apart.

I don't know how I feel. I guess I'm not really asking anything just a bit of reassurance and courage to tell dp (his the most lovely person just not sure why I'm reluctant to tell him he knows we haven't been careful so it will hardly be a massive shock he isn't some horrible ogre I promise!)

Didn’t want to read and run! Congratulations! Must be such a shock for you but I think by the sounds of it you are getting your head round it already. I had 2 18 months apart and I think it was actually the easiest age gap (others are 3 years apart) as you’re still very much in the baby stage with the first when the next one comes along! As you say I think it’ll be lovely for your youngest to have a sibling close in age too x

In a nice way, don’t let your other kids dictate what you should do. If you don’t then that’s one less thing you need worry about.

Work will have to be fine, so that’s something else not to worry about

Your age is fine, something else not to worry about

Loads of people manage with small age gap. Room is made. Kids share all the time. Something else not to worry about

Kids ages means adults this one gets older the now 17 and 13 year olds will be at Uni, working, living away from your home.. another thing not to worry about

So that leaves the talk with your DH. Once that’s started it’s something not as big a worry as our own brain makes things

Thanks both.

@VioletOcean I know what you mean it's just initially with ds there was such fallout. The oldest two were positively vile. I also and again I shouldn't worry about the comments I am going to get from people particularly at work there was already a host of comments during my last pregnancy 'no 4 god get a tv' 'no 4 god you're a glutton for punishment' 'who'd have 4 kids.... Oh sorry vie' I'm a bit of a wimp and know it shouldn't bother me!!!

Yes I thought the 2 kids currently at home will leave eventually lol. Baby ds is more like an only child and I have said it would be lovely for him to have a sibling as the other kids well it was chaos when they were growing up (was a single parent) but they all laugh now and little ds well it's just him and us. So with this one we actually miss a lot of the usual problems like needing another car the oldest 2 drive already and have their own cars we only couldn't manage when we have dsd but we have a car each so could just take 2 cars.

Dp well I'm still to tackle that one a shocking day at work for him that saw him working until 8pm then we had dinner and we'll I'm exhausted so was asleep!

Similar happened here last year.

I have a 21yo (from 1st marriage) plus 12,10,2.5 and 7.5m old. I was a month off 42 when number 5 arrived.

2.5yo very much long awaited and planned, 7.5m old not so much. But she's been an absolute delight and adored by her older brother from the moment she arrived.

Older siblings were a mixed bag.

Good luck x

@Burningbenches yes oldest 3 from 1dt marriage thought dp and I would have 1 ours tried for a year for ds and this is literally one slip up and here we are.

I've told DP he said 'well it's not the worse news' so I guess that's a kinda positive.

Did you get many stupid comments from people when you were having no 5? How is the small age gap?

Honestly none, well not to my face! It was a tough pregnancy, I had a huge bleed at my 12wk scan so didn't actually tell anyone until 24wks!! I think people were less shocked than they were about my 4th tbh.

There's 22m between them, and there was 17m between 2&3 so I'm used to a smaller gap and like it.

Great news about your DP

@BurningBenches my friend just said be more 'fuck it' with other people's opinions the main two people are okay with it so I need to listen to that advice!!!

Oh you poor thing sounds horrible. One things for sure I know for a fact I will be done after this if I'm lucky for it to go full term.