Going from 3 to 4

[abbmebtdab]

Hi all, so iv found myself at a point where I don't know what to do. I have 3 beautiful, health, happy children but I find myself thinking of having a forth.

Part of me feels like a forth is what is right for us and our family and the thought makes me happy but I also have this feeling of...can I do it all again, the newborn, sleepless nights, nappy bags, prams, toilet training etc 😂

My children are 9, 7 and 3. My daughter was 4 when my son was born and it was a bit if a shock to the system when I went back to baby life after feeling my daughter was getting more independant ect, but I just got on with it and did love every moment, he was very much wanted and planned but sometimes the thought of it again wears me out lol, but there is this want and need within me that brings me back constantly to having another.

What's it like going from 3 to 4? A new car will be needed and 2 will share a room as we have a 3 bed house. I guess I'm just looking for different opinions from others who have been there and done it and their thoughts and opinions on it.
I should mention I'm a stay at home parent but I am starting an online degree next month so have that to think of too.

Hit me with your opinions and advice!

Anyone??

No idea but I feel the same as you. My third is currently 10 months and I'm wondering about a 4th

I had my 4th when the others were 10,7 and 6. It was an unplanned pregnancy but so glad it happened. The older 3 were amazing with their baby brother. I found it quite hard at first as all my friends were back at work but I quickly built up a new circle of friends. We also had to buy a bigger car and change sleeping arrangements. Looking back now I do sometimes wonder how I managed. I even went back to part time teaching when 4th was only 6 weeks old!! Love having a large family.

@Bitezbabe

I had my 4th when the others were 10,7 and 6. It was an unplanned pregnancy but so glad it happened. The older 3 were amazing with their baby brother. I found it quite hard at first as all my friends were back at work but I quickly built up a new circle of friends. We also had to buy a bigger car and change sleeping arrangements. Looking back now I do sometimes wonder how I managed. I even went back to part time teaching when 4th was only 6 weeks old!! Love having a large family.

Thank you 😊 sounds like you took on the challenge and aced it! I do love a big family and I love hearing them all running around and laughing (sometimes screaming!!) I do worry about not being able to do the 'older kid' stuff with friends if I have a new born, bit I guess as you said you make new friends for that.

My sister has 4 and although very happy she has admitted she should have stopped at 3. It sounds like your house is not big enough, and you're embarking on a degree. I'd say stick with 3!

My third is 4 mths and I hope to have a 4th next year. I love big families. We are looking for a 3 bed house and bigger car next year. I feel you will do well, you are staying home and your third will be close to 4, the kids will help out a lot.

I think it'll be harder than you think. Your oldest will be at secondary school very soon and a teenager before you know it.

Teens need parents much more than most people realise. I've seen families where stopping at three would have been very beneficial to the older children.

I think Coolhand ^ hasn't got realistic expectations

No.
3 is enough.

How would the older child feel about having another new baby in the house?

@Coolhand2

My third is 4 mths and I hope to have a 4th next year. I love big families. We are looking for a 3 bed house and bigger car next year. I feel you will do well, you are staying home and your third will be close to 4, the kids will help out a lot.

Why is it the other kids' job to 'help out'?

Stop at 3. A toddler and a teenager is hard, as they have such different needs. They love their younger sibling but if I were you I’d stop at 3.

I'm afraid I would not go there. 3 is absolutely plenty. Quit while you're ahead and everything is going well. What if after the 4th you want a fifth? I think it will take so much from you and if circumstances change in the future regarding jobs, health, money etc, you could really struggle.

It’s not right to rely on help from older siblings, their parents choice to have a child shouldn’t give them responsibility’s.

Also.. 4 kids in a 3 bed? It doesn’t seem very responsible to put yourself in this situation on purpose.

Op, will it ever end? You want a 4th, what is there to say you won’t feel this way again? It’s quite a natural feeling to contemplate another but I think 4 is a lot. Especially when such different age brackets.

I have 4. Obviously I love my 4th, and I absolutely wouldn't wish him away now etc etc. But. I often feel guilty that it wasn't the right decision for our family. I think my other 3 kids have suffered.

I have finally now (post #4) got my toe back in the door career wise and I'm so happy. I feel like I probably should have done this 4 years ago rather than "go on, just one more baby".

If you're all happy, healthy, settled, you're studying - I personally would count my blessings, and I wouldn't rock that boat. (but I also know that if you want a baby, there's no amount of rational discussion that will talk you out of it!)

Thanks for your comments and advice ladies. Reading through them have really help me to make my decision. I think that sticking to my gorgeous 3 would be the best decision for us all.

Just one extra warning - my cousin went from 3 to 5! Surprise twins!