Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Larger families

Find out all about large family cars, holidays and more right here.

Grief that I won't have 2nd child

2 replies

Respectfulparent · 07/01/2022 07:27

I have a 2 year old DD and have always thought I would have at least 2 children. We have no infertility issues but DH is adamant he doesn't want a 2nd. He struggled to bond with our 1st and doesn't feel he has emotional capacity for a 2nd. He would 'give in' and have a 2nd for me however I am making the decision not to because I don't want to bring an unwanted child in to the world. Even if they are half wanted. DH's dad admitted he didn't want children to his mum and ended up leaving and dying at 50 from alcoholism. DH is terrified of going down the same route. We also had a really hard time 1st time round and I don't feel I could do that alone or deal with not being able to be excited about being pregnant, not feeling I could ask for help etc.

We have been through couples counselling which has really helped us to be able to talk about hard topics like this as well as lots if other benefits. So apart from this issue we are in a really good place right now.

Everybody around me either has a 2nd, is pregnant with one or is trying so I'm feeling overwhelmingly alone. I'm grieving this decision even though I know it is the right one, but I also feel so alone in my grief because DH isn't grieving and I don't know anybody else in this situation. I'm trying to focus on the positives of having an only child to help me to accept this decision.

Anybody else who can relate to this? Thanks

OP posts:
Chely · 07/01/2022 16:52

May be worth requesting MN to move this thread to one-child families section.

CowMarshland · 07/01/2022 17:22

Sounds like your dh has communicated his feelings extremely well, but have you? Dh unlikely to change his reasoning but you still need to express how this is making you feel so you can begin to come to terms with only having 1. Unless you do want more and then maybe your dh isn’t the one for you.. there’s a lot of soul searching and discussing to be had

New posts on this thread. Refresh page