To have another?

[Mumoftwo09]

I currently have a 12 year old and a 10 month old. I really can't get passed the idea of wanting one more but I don't want a big age gap, So thinking of starting to try to conceive. It was easy for me going from 1 to 2 because of the age gap as my 12 year old is no bother at all now, so it was kind of like been a first time mum again. I worry if I am underestimating how hard having 2 little ones is? What's everyone else's experience?

It's only hard for the first 9-12 months in my experience, but you have the advantage of having a 12 year old helper too.

I have a 1 year old and a 2 year old. There is 15 months between the two. The first 9 months were soooo hard, but that is because the baby had silent reflux so couldn't be put down much at all. Now it is lovely, they play together so much.

Thank you both, It's the idea of having 2 close in age so they have each other that I really like. I always wished my daughter had that, and yes I have an extra little helper in her.
I just worry that after one more I will still want more 😂

My gaps were this.
Between 1&2 9years.
Between 2&3 17months
Between 3&4 8yrs
Between 4&5 22months.

2&3 were much harder babies (non sleepers) than 4&5 are so far. But have had a lovely friendship and are very close.

Please don’t expect or insist the eldest to help out. My niece is really suffering at the moment. My sister was like you and just recently had a third as she didn’t want a big gap between the younger two. The eldest is 11, middle 17 months and the third is 6 weeks. Since week 2 the eldest has stayed with my husband & I on average 5 days a week. At the moment she hates the new born and is feeling neglected as the younger two need so much more attention. My sister and her husband are too tired to insists she stays at home or give her the attention she needs, so for now she’s with us most of the time. When she is at her home she is mostly in her bedroom.

@MrsFin

It's only hard for the first 9-12 months in my experience, but you have the advantage of having a 12 year old helper too.

The older one isn't there to be a helper ffs!

I don't expect or insist my daughter helps out now with her baby brother so I wouldn't expect or insist it with another. She is a wonderful big sister who has at times done things to help because she wants to and not because she is made to. It would be exactly the same if I had another, she would help with little things if she wanted to but I would never expect or insist she did.

I had three under five and I loved it. They were close and played together and fought like cat and dog lol. Our family life has been marvellous.

I have four grown up children.

Age gaps were 18 months, 20 months, 3 years.

Having two with an 18 month gap was fine, it got a bit crazy when the third came along as it was almost 3 in 3 years. But it's such a short time in the scheme of things.

They are all best friends and pretty much always have been and great playmates. We are so pleased we had them close together.

I had a year and 5 days between my first 2 wasn't planned the second but after having ivf for my first didn't think I needed to use anything. Then 3rd came along 3 years later went straight on pill after second then my 4th was born 5 years later. It does seem easier having them all young together and they always had someone to play with. My last is a bit separated from the others because of the age difference. I wouldn't have wanted to leave it so long between but I got abnormal cells on my cervix the first smear test after turning 25 so had a couple of years of treatment for that.
They are all getting older now and 3 teenagers in the house is hard.

Sal

Ours are 13 months apart, DD is 16months and DS is 3 months. Honestly not been as hard as we expected it to be. It's certainly not easy but it's not as hard as you'd think. And from what others have told me it gets easier when they get slightly older and can play together

Thanks all, good to hear from those with little ones close in age. Think I am definitely leaning towards trying for another soon rather than later 😊

Tiring but otherwise it is as hard as you allow it to be tbh.
1 & 2 have 5yr gap, 2 & 3 16.5mth gap, 3 & 4/5 2yr 10mth gap, 4/5 & 6 6yr 5mth gap.
3 onward just slot it to family life, older ones having established routines in place helps a lot. Going from twins to another singleton feels super easy lol.

@MrsFin

It's only hard for the first 9-12 months in my experience, but you have the advantage of having a 12 year old helper too.

Oh god please don't make the 12 year old a mini parent.

Did my head in when I was younger.

If you want another kid, look after it yourself.

Not easy but definitely worth it IMO.