Feel like am going under

[Playgrind]

Have 3 under 5, oldest in reception and youngest a baby. Recently moved to a new area, no family close by and partner works 6 days a week.

Wondered if I was developing post natal depression but may be just burn out. I have zero time to myself. Ive lost empathy, feel very resentful to my oldest who has always been needy and a handful. Not able to take any pleasure in caring for the baby, is just perfunctory.

Am almost teetotal but have been drinking most days, only one a day but this concerns me as is so out of character.

Going to GP, will probably just give antidepressants. Not keen as BFing and feel it's just covering up the real issue that I'm empty and have nothing left. Some days are actually good but find my lunchtime I'm exhausted and things go downhill from there.

Hi OP, that sounds tough. You need some help. Do you have someone who could come and stay for a few days? Have a look at HomeStart to see if there's one in your area. They have volunteers who are all mums themselves and they'll visit for a few hours to give you a break. I used to volunteer for them and helped some lovely families who needed a bit of support.

Do you get out to toddler groups, baby sensory etc to meet other mums? My daughter has a baby and has really pushed herself to get out there as we don't live close so, like you, has no one.

I doubt that you're depressed, you're just reacting to the tough situation you're in.

Hopefully others will have more useful advice for you.

How old is baby?

Cut the alcohol out immediately as it's a depressant. Swap it for Chocolate which will give you an endorphin boost. You can then address your diet at a later point when you're better.

Ring your HV or get one assigned if you've not had one since moving.

Can the middle one go to nursery for a couple of days if you can afford it?

Can a family member visit once a week or fortnight?

Sertraline as an antidepressant whilst BFing is fine there are no reported effects on baby xxx

As taken massive willpower to avoid drinking today, has been a tough day. Will see GP next week. Will look into HV too.

Thanks for homestart suggestion, googled them but not sure what they actually do as website sounds people come round for a chat?

Unfortunately no one able to come on a regular basis, my family have good intebtuins but not actually helpful (long story).

@Playgrind well done for abstaining the alcohol! How are you today?

Is nursery not an option for your middle child? Xx

@SweatyYetti Today has been a bit better, thank you for asking.

Stress this morning to leave but took the kids out and mostly had a good time. New plan is to book activities for Saturday, as this is the day I find hardest to be on my own.

Oh that's really good @Playgrind I was going to suggest baby and toddler groups where your toddler can just play ages you sit with your baby chatting to other mums? Soft play to?

A few hours childcare for middle one would relieve a lot of the pressure. I've been holding off for financial reasons, this new job was our chance to save like mad with the hope of finally being able to buy a house, so feel like the whole move has been pointless if I then spend savings on childcare! But I can't go on like this, so may have to do that even if its just for 6 months or so.

No suggestions, 3 under 4 here. It’s tough! Hope things get better, 3rd baby certainly feels neglected compared to other two!

@Playgrind im sure DP and DC would rather a happy healthy mummy than a house. How old is middle DC? Can he /she qualify for 30 hrs per week or the other funded stuff? If it's six months or a year that's a tiny delay in saving for a house in the grand scheme of things Xx

Thanks for homestart suggestion, googled them but not sure what they actually do as website sounds people come round for a chat? 😄 well they can do if that's what you want. When I volunteered I had one family where the mum suffered ME, so I would look after her little one while she went to bed/had a bath. Another was a single mum with no transport so I would take them out for picnics, another - I entertained the little one while mum caught up on housework and another I looked after the DC while mum went to the gym for her rehab following an accident. There were others, but you get the gist - every family is unique and so are their needs.