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? Egg donor for 3rd child

5 replies

Countrybumpkin19 · 28/06/2021 14:13

Hi all
Would really appreciate your thoughts. I have 2 wonderful DDs and used to think my family was complete. Sadly 6 months ago my youngest was diagnosed with a likely life limiting condition (though she is currently healthy and hopefully will continue to be so for many years yet). We are obviously devastated by this diagnosis and are still coming to terms with it. Recently I have started thinking about a 3rd child. Partly because I could not bear for my eldest to be an only child in the future, partly because I want something positive and hopeful to focus on after the difficult 6 months we have had, but most importantly because I feel that a 3rd child would make a wonderful addition to our family. I also have friends who have recently had a 3rd child and am now feeling that all familiar biological instinct kick in. The complicating factor is that I would be worried about having a natural conception due to a 25% risk that any future child would inherit the same condition. I have thought about IVF with pre genetic diagnosis, but this appears to be v expensive with lowish chances of success in my age group (I am 38) - and even if we had a healthy embryo free of the condition they may still be a carrier. This has led me to consider IVF with a donor egg. I am not too concerned about the lack of a biological link to myself having already had 2 biological children, and the child would still have a genetic link to the family through my husband. We would also be honest with the child about their origins from the outset. Am I mad to consider this?

OP posts:
Scottishgirl85 · 29/06/2021 20:12

38 is not old for ivf. We did ivf abroad where it is MUCH cheaper. It will cost more with donor eggs. Personally I would try with your own eggs and PGD but only you can make that decide.
I'm so sorry about your dd ❤

Scottishgirl85 · 29/06/2021 20:12

PS we are planning ivf currently for a 3rd child so I maybe biased!

IsabelHerna · 30/06/2021 10:06

Hey OP, I'm so sorry for what your little one is going through and with him the whole family I imagine.
I don't think you're crazy thinking about it. You seem to have thought about it a great big deal, and you're coming to a conclusion. 38yo is not old for IVF, I would have some fertility tests and consult a specialist and then consider the donor egg option.
I am going to do my IVF abroad for financial reasons as well, so maybe you should think and research that as well?
Good luck!

Coolhand2 · 03/07/2021 19:52

You could try with your own eggs and pdg test. I really think you might have positive results.

LewishamMum · 14/07/2021 12:05

Are you able to get the genetic testing on the NHS? it's not an area I know about, but I'm pretty sure they do this for some conditions with a genetic factor. I suppose those it only comes out of IVF and with 2 DDs you would not be eligible for that.
How early in the pregnancy could you get a test? And is that a decision you would feel comfortable with?
Tbh if you are seriously thinking of IVF with a donor egg, it won't be any more expensive to use your own eggs and get them tested.
Best of luck whatever you decide x

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