Tell me having a third isn’t as bad as people keep making out

[Mamabearwhere]

I’m currently pregnant with a very much wanted 3rd baby. There will be a 7 and 5 year gap between the older two and this baby. Since telling people I’m pregnant, it even strangers you end up in convo with at super market or wherever who have 3 are constantly making comments of “ah good luck!” Or “ah you’ll see how mental 3 is”. One school mum who has 3 told me “I hope you’ll be alright because 3 is crazy, you’ll see”. I can’t help letting this get to me and it really annoys me. I mean what are they trying to achieve? It’s not going to prepare me and it’s not going to make me unpregnant. All it does is cause huge amounts of anxiety.

If you have 3 kids please tell me it’s not that bad. I found the jump from 1 to 2 really hard because of the small 2 year gap but I really believe and hope the bigger gap will be on my side this time with the older two in school most of the day etc.

It's not that bad. (I had 2 year gap between all of them).

It’s awesome-I wanted a fourth! Im a single Mom to 3, and even when they were little and I was tired etc, I wouldn’t change any of it. There’s 18 months between 1 & 2, and then 3 years between 2 & 3. Don’t listen to nay sayers, it’s just mean! Crack on and enjoy your happy family

It is crazy but in a wonderful way. And the big age gap is absolutely on your side. We have a four year age gap between numbers two and three. When we first had our third the older two got on with playing and enjoying themselves still, but they also love their brother and include him in all sorts of things. I didn’t/don’t need to constantly worry about what they’re doing at any given moment when I’m occupied with a baby or toddler meltdown scenario and they are genuinely helpful. It also means I get some great one-on-one time with my youngest when the other two are at school but I love it when they’re all here too. Everyone always needs something, someone is always whinging etc. So it’s hard work but it feels right for us. Good luck with your new addition.

@Himawarigirl this is the exact vision I’m having/hoping for with the new addition. Thank you for sharing your experience and glad to hear it’s not all that bad.

I have pretty much your age gap , ours were 8 and 5 when number three was born . He is 19 now and I wouldn’t change a thing . One really good thing was that when the older ones were grumpy or stressed teenagers they always had a good excuse to play Lego or watch children’s TV !

For me going from 2 to 3 wasn't difficult at all. It definately won't be mental, you will be a little bit busier that's all.

@GlencoraP ah that’s such a nice and positive perspective that grumpy teens get some young distraction and joy. Thank you for sharing.

My third was unplanned but the best thing ever. The age gaps are 4 and nearly 6 years. The older two were already in preschool when dc3 came along so I had a lot of time just with him, but this time knowing what I was doing! It was a really happy time for the whole family. They're all teenagers now and I really enjoy the dynamic. Three very different personalities with very different relationships.

Congratulations on your pg. You'll be fine

My 3rd was my easiest and 10 years on still is!

I have four year between all of mine so ds were 8 and 4 when dd was born and I don’t remember it being any worse than going from 2-3.
Have loved having three. Considered 4 for a time but glad financially that we didn’t now.
The only downside I can think of was things like family tickets being two adults two children so had to buy additional ticket and a few hotels would make us have two rooms even when dd was tiny and co sleeping

I've got 3. 1st is 11 2nd is 3 and 3rd is 1. I would happily have a fourth but we couldn't afford it. 2nd and 3rd are non sleepers atm. The age gap between eldest is a god send. Honestly it's not that bad

Going to 3 and 4 (and hopefully 5) has been totally fine here. Aside from potentially needing bigger cars and I guess potentially holiday issues if you use hotels I can't see what they mean really. Especially with bigger gaps. We go self catering and haven't flown in over 10yrs anyway.

I had a 10 yo and a 17m old when dc3 arrived. 2 under 2 was slight chaos but it would have been if I had just had 2 under 2.

Likewise, DC were 19, 10 and 8 when DC4 arrived and they all dote on him. Covid aside they would have all been in school in the day and so it was pretty nice to do toddlers with him and nap when he did! Obvs homeschooling wasn't ideal though!

Where I live 3 kids is pretty common though, so the only negative comments I got were around having 3 girls in a row rather than having 3. No one has ever said anything about having 4 or 5 either, though I did feel quite self conscious about number 5.

Three is the best! - eldest was 11 and youngest 4, when she was born. All very different personalities. Be warned the youngest will get away with murder!

3rd was unplanned, but am so pleased now.

She fitted in with the school routine, would sleep all the way there and back and again in the afternoon as she likes being in them pram. She seemed to just fit in with life!

Agree with a PP, she is definitely the most spoilt!

My oldest was six and the middle three when our baby came along. It's magic - wouldn't change a thing!

Mine are just over and just under two years apart and I have three. I had a period of a year or so when I really stressed about having them and thought two would have been easier. Hands down though I'm glad we did and three feels like a proper family. A gang. I wish I'd had more.

I'm thinking of having a 3rd and have been umming and aaaaring over it since me 2nd was born. So I'm liking these comments! Il be watching with interest.
My downside is I'm in a 2 bedroom flat atm and can't see that changing any time soon so don't think it would be good to bring a 3rd in the mix.
Sorry not meaning to high jack the thread.

I have the exact age gap as you and it’s fine. Dc3 seems to clash with dc2 but really looks up to dc1. I try not to get involved in the clashes as dc2 is old enough to deal with it fairly well. They do get on too and play together.
It does get harder to do things that all 3 like but there are plenty of things especially outdoors.
You’ll be fine

My children were (just) 6 and 4 when I had my third. I think you will be absolutely fine. After having a two year gap between your first two, you will hopefully find a longer gap a breeze. I think you have done the hardest which was having two children in two years. I can honestly say it hasn’t been crazy or mental having three. I wouldn’t change it for the world!

The age gap will make life so much easier with 3, mine are 13,10 and 6. The third was a poor sleeper but the easiest going and most loving little fellow. He is great! And it brings everyone together, congratulations to you !

I'm expecting number 3 and everyone keeps telling me the third just "slots right in" so now I'm worried.

I must admit the small number of people I've told have reacted like "wtf" which isn't what you want to hear ...