How do I stop the younger kids eating ALL the snack?

[Maximum71]

Quick sketch of the situation:
DSS 21, DSD 20, DSSIL 21, DSS 13, DSS11.
The 3 older kids all take packed lunches- they pay extra house money to do this - So we get extra family packs of crisps, Mars bars, stuff like that to take one of each, together with their sandwiches, to work.
They come down the morning after the shop to find almost everything gone. The 2 younger boys deny eating it (as per usual).
It's so annoying- how do you explain to the younger 2 that of course they can have one or 2 items as a snack but eating the lot in one sitting is unacceptable?
We just can't get it though to them.
There is plenty of other food in the house. Always loads of fruit, nuts, cheese bread, meats, wraps, bagels etc to eat.
The younger one is quite fussy but always eats most of his tea.
I hate the idea of a lock box. But the big kids are super pissed off because they pay for extra snacks yet the boys eat all of it.
If I buy a couple of family pack for the boys to share over the course of a week - it's gone that same evening and they would then sneak to the shop with pocket money from their mum who they see once a week, to go and buy more crap.
My DD's who are older and don't live with us never used to do this. I just don't know how to deal with it.

I am sure its not going to be easy overcoming the emotional-security related eating habits of the younger children but helping them with this needs to be a priority now or they will get obese very quickly.

My DC don't have this overeating tendency (more the opposite it can be a struggle to get them to eat enough for healthy growth) but do love crisps and snacks. The rules in our house are that for any between-meals snacks you have to alternate between fruit/veg "healthy" thing vs higher fat/sugar packaged snack food type thing. If the last thing you ate was not a piece of fruit or veg then the next thing you eat must be. If DC fancy a snack but don't fancy the fruit/veg then they aren't really hungry enough and don't have anything.

I also remind them to have a drink if they are peckish for a snack as half the time when they think they are hungry they are actually fine after just a drink.

There's also no snacks allowed if its 45 mins or less until the next official meal time.

However the fact that I have these rules for my DC isn't going to help you with your DC suffering the emotional fallout from the trauma they have lived through that has left them with this unhealthy attitude to food. They need professional help with that.

Can't you just stop charging the older ones extra and tell them to buy their own? Then you can just have a few things in the kitchen which are for the younger ones.

Also don't buy multipacks of chocolate or the type of things which are tempting them to binge - they can buy that themselves with any pocket money they get. The snacks you buy can be the healthier sort that aren't going to deplete so quickly.

Why do you care if they think you're a "health freak"? It sounds like they are all eating way too much chocolate/ unhealthy snack food so as the adult you need to do something about that!

My parents let me eat basically what I wanted in my teens and it was quite damaging to be honest. You need to put a limit on it.

How has your boyfriend tried to solve this? He’s the parent to all these people, it falls on him to sort all parenting.

I was reminded of this thread when it turned out that DC (age11) would rather not have any crisps at all if we have run out of Walkers potato crisps and only have my delicious vegetable-based low calorie crisps. Could you buy snacks for the older ones that they little ones find repellent but are actually delicious?

No the older ones are super fussy 🙈😱

The older ones should buy their own snacks and keep them at work and you should buy none for the younger ones, but give them pocket money so they can buy their own if they wish (or save it up).

I know it's most probably time consuming, but would it be possible to engage them in making some treats for themselves, ie rice crispy cakes, fairy cakes etc. I'm probably right out of touch here, but just a thought. You sound a really lovely person btw x

@wigjuice

I know it's most probably time consuming, but would it be possible to engage them in making some treats for themselves, ie rice crispy cakes, fairy cakes etc. I'm probably right out of touch here, but just a thought. You sound a really lovely person btw x

Aah thank you. I try haha the kids are actually getting a lot better. Xx

I keep half goodies away till half the SC stay so that I can be sure it lasts or that me and DH get a look in!

It sounds like it's a trauma issue from their past.

Please don't ignore that. If trauma stays unresolved there will be much bigger problems that stealing food in the future.

Involve them in the shopping, ask what snacks they want? I do an online shop and give my 2 (similar ages) a budget for their treats. They know they’ll get another budget the following week.

As an aside, they are brave to steal the older ones snacks! I had older brothers and sisters and I would have been terrified of the consequences of snooping/pinching.

If its trauma based then please dont punish them. Help with the trauma. This is honestly how eating disorders start.

Can you reassure them that there will always be food if there is hungry? Perhaps nice fruit in the fridge/crackers. Show them where it is? Often ask if they're hungry. Just until they are reassured that There Will Be Food. There is an overriding survival onstinct that kicks in after restriction.

Have nice puddings - but a sensible size and at meal times. This is to discourage the need for a "treat."

But more importantly are their trauma needs. Are they/you having help with that? .
One idea is to have individual time with each child regularly and to let them choose the activity/how to play. Giving them the freedom to choose and the closeness.

They may need to feel safe,secure and loved before needs to seek food are sorted.

Just trying to sort the food is kind of focusing on the symptoms and not the cause.