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What's life like with 5+?

5 replies

Hidinge · 16/02/2021 15:15

I know we're in a pandemic but hoping not forever...

Do you have family support?
Are you constantly cleaning/tidying/admining?
Are you employed?
Do you ever get time to do what you want?
Have your friends stuck around through the pregnancies?
Do you manage hobbies?
Are you always skint or have you enough money to go around, and maybe pay for a cleaner now and then!?
If you can't afford holidays are you ok with that?
If you didn't think you would cope, what happened?
Is life completely family focused?

Please talk to me. I currently have four dc, but am unexpectedly pregnant and it's really not a great time :(

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
THATbasicSNOWFLAKE · 18/02/2021 07:31

Do you have family support?

Yes as in if we need a couple of hours childcare we can sort it out but we aren't people whose DC regularly sleep at grandparents etc

Are you constantly cleaning/tidying/admining?

YES! unless i ignore the mess for a bit

Are you employed?

Yes, part time

Do you ever get time to do what you want?

Not so much at the moment but mine are little

Have your friends stuck around through the pregnancies?

Yes but i have more phone contact than physical contact

Do you manage hobbies?

In normal times yes DC do one thing at a time each

Are you always skint or have you enough money to go around, and maybe pay for a cleaner now and then!?

We don't have a cleaner but can pay for bits to be done on house when needed and have some saved for when holidays are back on the cards

If you can't afford holidays are you ok with that?

We can afford them if we plan and save

If you didn't think you would cope, what happened?

NA

Is life completely family focused?

Very, i feel like the brain/secretary of the house

THATbasicSNOWFLAKE · 18/02/2021 07:32

Have you decided if you are going to continue with your pregnancy op? You may be able to get some phone councelling if not Flowers

PopsicleHustler · 19/02/2021 12:24

HIYA,

I have just literally had our 5th baby. Planned baby but a surprise at the same time as I didnt even know I was pregnant until a little while after...
I never imagined to have a large family. I would have stuck at 1 or 2 but gradually I realised I would love to have more children. and even now am thinking of number 6, even though I literally gave birth just a month ago. My husband also loves children and having a big family and is extremely supportive and works hard for us all.

Here's my answer to your questions...

Do you have family support?
No, we do it all on our own. I have zero family. I have nc with my parents and siblings and the rest of our family is abroad and my husband family is great but we dont see them as they live in various countries. I have just done it all on my own since day one without help from grandparents. We have done ok.

Are you constantly cleaning/tidying/admining? Yes, but I get my eldest ones to rope in. I have a routine of where you get it out, you put it back. If you finish eating, throw the wrapper in the bin or plates in the sink. And if you have finished playing with it the tidy it away. However with 5 kids, I am constantly cleaning. I cant stand mess and I enjoy a clean home. Laundry winds me up though. Its never ending. We have about 5 clothes waiters and a tumble dryer.

Are you employed?
Yes, I work from home, even before the pandemic. I even work whilst breastfeeding lol. I work online promotions for a fashion website.

Do you ever get time to do what you want?
Before I had the last baby, I was able to whack a film on and have bubble bath. Now since having the newborn, it's a 2min bubble bath before she wakes up crying. I would leave her with hubby but she gets very whingey and only breast milk sorts her out. I managed to have a 30 min bath yesterday. It was amazing. Even got to wash my hair. Woohoo.

Have your friends stuck around through the pregnancies?
No. I dont have any friends either. I lost a lot of friends when I reverted to islam and also I realised if you dont make the effort first you never hear from anyone. To be honest my husband and my kids are my best friends. I used to have loads but drifted apart.
Do you manage hobbies? My hobbies are arts and crafts and I try to do that it with the kids . I also like word games and do that with my Dh. I also love watching films and documentaries and do that with by Dh and kids.

Are you always skint or have you enough money to go around, and maybe pay for a cleaner now and then!?
I wish I could have a cleaner. I just don't like people going through my things. I had a neighbour look after our kids when we were in hospital with baby number 5. And when we came back my eldest told us how she had a good time rooting through our drawers and cupboards. i was very annoyed. We have a storage wardrobe under the stairs and a small study which we have used to store items until we move house. We blocked off access to its it's totally unusable and wouldnt want the kids in there and hurt themselves so we blocked it off with a large shoe shelf and a small table . She physically dragged them into the hallway so she could have a good nosey at what was there. Then left it as mess and made my son drag the furniture back. Am still undecided about whether to buy her chocolate and flowers for having them. I would never be asked to look after kids and instead of looking after them going round the house looking at everything. I was more annoyed with my eldest. Hes 14 and didnt say anything. ... I wouldn't want a cleaner anyway until we move. ...
Let's see what happens as I enjoy cleaning and my children get pocket money for chipping In.

If you can't afford holidays are you ok with that? We dont go on holidays abroad,
only weekend breaks to the beach or camping. Probably would love to travel overseas in the future.
If you didn't think you would cope, what happened? I've done ok. Just a few nights where I wish I could get more sleep when looking after a newborn but it gradually gets easier.

Is life completely family focused?

Yes it is. All my heart goes into my children and my husband too. I dont know wht I would do without them.

God is great. Children are a blessing whether one or two or 10. I wish you all the best in your new adventure.

Heathenqueen13 · 19/02/2021 21:18

10 day's ago I had my 7th child. There's a 10 year gap between him and my second youngest, I'm 42 next month.
All of my babies have come early and he was born at 26 weeks and 5 days, it was a traumatic birth and for the first time I was alone (my mum died 3 years ago), it happened so quickly my partner couldn't get there. I didn't get to see him close up because he was transferred straight to London and I had an emergency c section.
It took 4 days to see him and 8 days before I could see his face properly.
Im sole carer for my 18 year old severely disabled daughter and have two aged 15 and 10 to look after too, my partner doesn't live with me. My partner goes up to our boy every day, I can only get up twice a week.
I've always bounced back from birth, this time I've struggled. I cried for the first 7 days continuously. I'm stronger mentally, but I've had one day of breast milk and that's it.. I've done everything, but, nothing.
I hate expressing and everyone keeps on at me to keep trying.. The guilt is overwhelming... I don't want to do it now, but, I feel like I'm failing my boy and being selfish.... 😔

Mother2princess · 05/03/2021 23:56

Family of 4 soon to be 5

No family support we do it alone

2 are special needs children

Holidays expensive so they don't happen often

Time to myself absolutely not

Would I change it yes and no

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