What's it really like to have 3 kids?

[Vialarooski]

Hiya,

I'm just asking for some real honest advice. No judgement at all.

We have two beautiful babies, 2yr old and 5months old. We always said we wanted three children (hubby wanted four but agreed on three).
I found the initial transition from 1 child to 2 really hard. The first 3 months just took the life out of me. We are settled now and I absolutely love how it is but it did really put me off having anymore.

Hubby still really wants a third but I'm reluctant - only because I'm worried that I won't cope. A few things I think could make life just so much harder:
The expense
How would I fit 3 in a car?
I can only hold two hands
What state will my body be in after a third?
Will we have anytime as a couple?
Childcare and babysitting
How will my other two feel having another sibling?
How will I split my time?

I do want another, I love the idea of a bigger family, not only in these young years but also when they are older. More of them to look after each other. I just have one other sibling and have always thought I would have liked another just for the times when we've fallen out - there's another sibling to cast an opinion or help square things out. Also, it would be nice for my parents to have more help from another sibling if that makes sense (my brother is useless lol).


So I guess I'm asking those with 3 kids - do you regret it? Is it much harder? What age gaps? What would you do differently? Was the third planned and why?

Such a misconception about 3 kids - everyone feels sorry for the middle child but why?? They are just as loved aren't they? Do they really feel the "middle child syndrome"?

Thanks in advance

[Onesailwait]

3 is the magic number. Yep, you'll need a bigger car (I drive a massive Chevy Tahoe), travel is more expensive because you often have to book 2 rooms. Its noisy and busy and there is always something going on with one of them. I love it, wouldn't change it for the world. I thought I was done with 2 but when my surprise #3 came along it's like it was always ment to be. My 3rd is easy & just fits in.

[BackforGood]

0-1 fucking nightmare, 1-2 piece of cake, 2-3 who notices an extra one

This ^ was my experience too.
dc3 slotted in very easily, and she's the one Ive probably enjoyed parenting the most - I think I have been more relaxed and less worried about every little stage.
I have a bigger age gap than you dc1 was 2y5m when dc2 was born and 5yr 3 m when dc3 was born.
Mine are all 3 school years apart form each other which helps in that they aren't doing public exams the same years as each other (tho' I suppose it does spread them out over a lot more years of not being able to be o holiday those certain weeks in August), and also less chance of having to support more than one at a time at University.
Same with childcare costs if you are WOTH - easier if they are spread out, tho' of course if your plan is to take time out of work to be a SAHP then closer together probably makes more sense.

everyone feels sorry for the middle child but why?? They are just as loved aren't they? Do they really feel the "middle child syndrome"?

No idea - it is something I've only read about on here. Not the case with any of the families I know (a lot). Indeed, with my dc, they all reckon dc2 is the favourite child

[Worldwide2]

Watching this with interest as I'm in the same dilemma and wondering if 3 will just be too much but that feeling just won't go away.
How did your body cope with the another pregnancy ladies?
I feel like after my 2nd it's been through the mill and the thought of another one actually scares me lol I feel like it would destroy it now.

[LostInMoab]

Personally I really struggled with the 3rd pregnancy. I always get sick but my goodness I was so exhausted. It was horrible to be honest and the main reason why I won’t be having a 4th.

[Panicmode1]

I found 2-3 the easiest transition. We have four and for one brief point I had 4 under 7, which was bonkers. They are now 16,15,12 and 10 and brilliant fun, but very expensive. Our food bills are mammoth!!

[Vialarooski]

So interesting to read everyone's comments. Can't say it's helped sway me either way, and still feeling conflicted but very helpful to read and has given me good for thought. Thank you.

Everyday I argue each point with myself, and my decision changes hourly! I think I'm just going to have to think on this for a while before making a decision. I do really want another little darling but feels like a much bigger decision that the first two. A lot more to consider...

We are hoping to move within the next few months so perhaps I'll focus on that for now and come back to baby no3 later on in the year.