Baby #4 on the way - advice needed!

[notactuallylolling]

We have a 6yo, 4yo and 2yo. Another (surprise) one due next summer. DH is really worried about logistics and practical stuff like how will we ever go on holiday again, will we all fit in the car etc. Im worried about taking yet another year off and how it will continue to affect my career. All that said, I’m really happy to have another but still, nervous.
If you have 4 children, what is it really like (esp if they are all little). What were your main concerns and challenges.....is it really so hard?

Im one of 6.. all really close in age and we are all grown up now! my parents just always tried their best for us all. We're all so close we all speak to each other everyday still! We had lovely family holidays growing up. My parents did always have money worries but they made it work. I suppose you just adapt. You'll be fine, honestly! You will just adapt to your new life with 4 children! I want a big family (only have the one DC so far) but i love how close me and all my siblings are and want the same with my children. Good luck Op!

I have 4, youngest was born when eldest was 5yrs. To be honest, once you have 3, I think you’ve done most of the heavy lifting! Adding one more didn’t add too much work realistically, you are already a ‘larger’ family (ie not 2 adults 2 children), congratulations!

I have 4, slightly more spread out in ages than yours. Eldest is 20, youngest is 10. Wouldn't change it at all. It really isn't any harder than 3 but you do need to plan around car size, holidays etc, need to book 2 rooms in any hotel (we normally just rent a house). We didn't want to move house so paid for an extension to give us 4 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. Never needed a double buggy but did invest in a buggy board. My house is never quiet, but now they are older they help out with jobs around the house, walk the dog etc and I never need a babysitter. DH and I both from large families so it felt normal to us. I was a stay at home mum until they were all in school full time though. Hats off to anyone who works with a larger family too.

Thanks all! I definitely found going from 2>3 waaaay easier than 1>2 so I keep telling myself ‘it will be fine!’.
Im already thinking about how we organise the house so everyone has a room and I think that will be ok....luckily my current youngest will be starting school nursery when I go back to work after my year off so I’ll only have one in private nursery (I don’t know how people afford to pay for 2 nursery spaces at once!)

3 - 4 was easier than 2 - 3. 14 month gap between 3 and 4.. Get a good bedtime routine and all will be fine!! We drove abroad and camped from having 5 dc or couldn't have afforded holidays!

It's fine. You will cope. You'll need a 7 seater obvs. But 4 isnt much different from three in the grand scheme of things. I just gave birth to number 5. But I'm gonna stop now 😂

Also embrace the cast offs!! I had a dd then 3 ds's.. Few decent outfits and lots of cast offs for at home!

@Santaisironingwrappingpaper bedtime routine is awful at the moment. None of them will go to sleep unless you sit/lie with them. It can take 2 hours to get the 3 of them down! Any ideas how we can break the cycle other than just shutting the door and leave them to cry? Really don’t want to do that....

Early tea. Long walk. Bath. Supper. Get tough... Older 2 old enough to know bed means sleep. Do they share a room?

@Santaisironingwrappingpaper they have their own rooms. This evening (after your message) I told them all, it’s bedtime, go to sleep, I’ll be right outside your room. I sat at the top of the stairs. 6yo (for the first time ever) just went to sleep and didn’t leave his room. 2yo cried so I popped my head round the door a couple of times to reassure him and eventually he stopped crying and nodded off. 4yo is still running around his room and keeps coming down the stairs 🤦🏻‍♀️

Great start op!! They know you mean business!! You don't have it be a monster to mean what you say... Maybe a small treat for the older one tomorrow? My ds used to get a 20p under his pillow if he went to sleep without shouting endlessly. You have to be prepared not pay up but hell it worked!! Well done!!

*Santa nc above!!

That is the gap I had with my 4, it's fine, you are much more relaxed by your 4th and they just tag along to everything.

I have 4 and am expecting my 5th in June. Eldest is 20, then I have 11,9 and 1.

I guess I don't have lots of little ones and we got away this far with just a normal 5seater, but will have to upgrade.

I don't currently work because over the years my career has gone down and my husband's has gone up. I am self employed but only for my sanity.

I totally understand the anxiousness, I feel it too right now.

Reading with interest! I had my 3rd 6 months ago at 37 (am now 38!) bedtime is hell but the rest of the time is lovely! Husband would never do for a 4th but suddenly I’m broody again!!!!!!!! Helllllp!

@Bettyboop82 my husband stil isn’t convinced about 4....oh well it’s a bit late now!

On the bedtime, we have pretty much nailed it! What used to take over 2 hours is now down to 30mins! It’s life changing

I need to change something. 3 years old twins sleep with their beds pushed together (their choice) and need me to lie in between them in the dark after about 4 stories until They go to sleep. Meanwhile the EBF baby is screaming downstairs as I’ve dared to leave him with hubby! Any tips appreciated!

I have 4 DC, they are 8,6,4 and just turned 3. I'm not going to lie, it's tough going at times, especially at the moment with lockdown but I wouldn't be without them. When #4 was on the way we got rid of the smax and got a 8 seater van, plenty of room for everyone and all the crap we have to cart about