Don’t know what to do 😩

[JJS89]

Hiya, This is probably irrelevant but can some one please help or point me in the right direction 😄 I have 2 sons ages 10 and 6 with my ex partner... I have been with my new partner for 3 years now who has 3 children with some one else who we have staying every other weekend.. I’m desperate for another baby and also hoping one day to get married but he’s still married and doesn’t want another baby... I’ve always wanted 3 of my own but I did kind of get over not having another but in the last 6 months Ive been asking him And telling him how I feel but he just doesn’t want any more... every time I see a baby now I get upset it’s really affecting me.. am I being selfish and stupid??

With five children between you I would focus on giving the best you can to those children. How would you fit 6 kids??

I don't think it matters if you are or aren't. If you desperately want a third and he Def doesn't then you're with the wrong man

Yes, both.

Five kids between you both is plenty. The partner who doesn’t want more children gets the deciding vote.

That said, I’m sorry you’re finding it tough.

Is he married as in still with his wife? As I'd definitly try not to get pregnant in this situation.
You need to take time to consider what you want more, this relationship or a baby. And consider your existing two as well and decide what's best for you all. You cant force him to father your child.

Thank you for your reply's He's married but been separated for 4 years... I'm just finding it hard because he told me at the start of the relationship he was going to divorce her but 3 years down the line he still hasn't... I'm 31 and I would love to get married but he isn't ready for none of that... his wife constantly rings and messages too, from early morning and uses the kids to get to him 🤦‍♀️ maybe I just need to suck it up.. thanks every one

He is telling you he doesn’t want to get married and he doesn’t want a baby - he has made that absolutely clear. And surely five children between you is (more than) enough?

Wanting a baby is neither selfish nor stupid.

Planning a baby under the circumstances you describe would be both.

You're in love with someone and think having a baby together would be great. But it wouldn't be, would it? Because you have five other children who all have the potential to feel displaced by the baby; because your partner doesn't feel entirely committed to this relationship; because babies are hard work and stressful even if everyone involved is entirely on board.

You will get through this. Concentrate on how much you like your (and his) existing children (oh, 6yo boys are so gorgeous) and think about all the things you can do now you're not tied to an infant or a toddler.