Did baby no3 change family dynamics

[anotheranxiousmum]

I am so torn as to whether to go for baby3 or not. So afraid for many reason

1. both my girls were horrendous sleepers and I really struggled for the first 2.5 years
2. suffered with terrible postnatal depression after second and took almost 3 years to recover. Afraid to go back to that place again
3. will dynamics change? Can I still remain a good mum? I often feel super stressed with two.

But I do really want to have a big family. I loved being pregnant. We always imagined our life with 4 kids (although now in reality that seems bloody tough)

I feel guilty for not being content with what I have and constantly debating a 3rd. I just can’t help how I feel. I def don’t feel done.

I am 30, husband 32. kids are 5.5 and 3.5.

@anotheranxiousmum
Love your screen name!
We have 3 DC.... all 3 years apart...# 3 was my most chill baby and to this day, the most chill of the 3..
I'd say having a 3rd didn't really change the family dynamic, but he did get dragged to every school event, sports practice, etc even as an infant.He never knew when it was going to be nap time or when he was going to be fed. He just took it in stride and was a charming little fellow. The older kids adored him.
One thing that makes having a third child a bit awkward is that you only have 2 hands so there would be fights over which 2 were going to hold mummy's hand or sit by mummy or have a cuddle with mummy....for the cuddles, I'd have one on each side and baby on top. Of course the more DC you do have increases the anxiety and stresses of motherhood exponentially. But, we feel blessed to have DS and wouldn't have it any other way.
I could see issues though if your 3rd was a high needs baby and needed strict structure. Since it would be DC 3 temperament it would be difficult to give the older DCs the attention they may need because of DC3s need. I can honestly say looking back now I was the cause of a lot of the stress because I took on too much that wasn't really necessary...such as letting all 3DC participate in multiple afterschool activities and I volunteered in all 3DC s classrooms and for all their sports teams...all at the same time! See, I never should have tried to do all of that ...my life would have been much less stressful. How does your DP feel about it? He has to be 100% on board or I could see that there could be resentment in the future.
Please excuse any typos

I have 3 with a 5 year gap between my 2nd and 3rd. He is coming up to 1 now. I can say he has been the easiest baby and I can’t imagine life without him. He brings so much joy to us all. But yes it totally changes things...for example I’ve been ill this week (half term!) and with the older two it’s manageable but with the baby as well it makes things a lot more difficult. Also babysitting - most people don’t want to watch 3! But all said and done we definitely don’t regret having a 3rd, but to answer your question it does change the family dynamic

My two DS were the age of yours when DD was born. She was my hardest baby - sleeping was hard (they were all bad at sleep!), she would only BF so I couldn't leave her much, she had a period of chronic illness, settling her into school after all the illness was hard...

But we like the dynamic we have now she's older. I'm a SAHM (which was a significant factor in #3) and it's busy managing them all. We are often spread thin and there is a bit of that eldest/middle/youngest thing but they generally do well as a little tribe and we enjoy the bustle.

So I would say having a third BABY was hard but having three CHILDREN is fun!