I need help

[Christinagrace22]

I don't even know where to start, I am a mother of 4, 2 of which have ASD and my eldest also has ADHD and can be very aggressive and violent. My youngest 3 is completely non verbal and is in the middle of an ASD assessment. So, life is pretty full on, ive now discovered I am pregnant and literally don't know what to do. My o/h works long days and tbh is slightly useless I do everything with the children he just wants to chill at the weekend etc so it is down to me to do park trips etc to keep them occupied. I was on the pill may I add. I have also had 3 sections, and after our youngest I haemorrhaged badly and was told my uterus lining is thin so future pregnancies are not advised.. I have spoke to my doctor who has spoke to a consultant and they cannot tell me how high/low the chances of something going wrong is. The next problem is my sister is currently struggling to conceive, she has done everything properly and I just feel sick that this has happened to me when she is so desperate. I'm so torn, I literally cannot figure out what to do and need advice/support help! I hate the idea of a termination it makes me sick to my stomach, but can I do this? Is this fair on my other children especially when they have additional needs and that makes it hard for everybody and the household can become chaotic and scary at times. Please, any advice support help you can offer I will really appreciate it.

If it were me I would terminate for the following reasons:

1. You are very very stretched by the needs of the children you have
2. You sound relatively unsupported by DH
3. There is a chance - albeit small - that your uterus could rupture and could endanger your life and that of your baby

I think you probably yearn for a 4th, and I don’t know if your reaction to a termination is religious, cultural or just yours but for the reasons given above if it were me i would terminate.

Do u want to keep your baby? Only u can make the choice.i have a disabled child i went on and had 3more babies.
I would be worried about the risk to u so id go again to a gp to talk about it again x

This is such a hard situation. Really feel for you. What does your gut feeling say?

My gut says carry on with it and cope like I know I can. My heart says do it but then I feel guilt about my other babies.. I feel I won't be able to give them what they need. I have a scan with BPAS on Monday. Purely to see how far I am my doctor said it was the quickest way to find out. Then I will need to make a decision. I guess it's easy at this point because I know it's safe. I just don't know what to do.

Such a difficult situation. I have 4 and two have ASD, one is so challenging - very violent band self harm. Knowing what I know now, I’d find it hard to have another baby as I’m completely overwhelmed at the moment keeping my child safe. It’s causing so much difficulty for the others. I would though, find it difficult going through the procedure, especially since I’ve had a stillbirth. Perhaps knowing how far you are may give you some clarity in how you feel?