From 2 to 3, honest opinions

[Daisycat16]

Exactly that really, how difficult a jump is it? I know it’s all relative to individual circumstances but the feeling I get is that it’s one of hardest. What are people’s experiences? Was there a lot of moving back and forth in deciding on number three for those reasons?

By far and away the easiest change, for us.

I was completely knocked sideways when dc1 was born;
Found 1 to 2 a much easier adjustment;
Found 2 to 3 the easiest of all.

Think I was a better parents - more relaxed. I realised every little thing wasn't that important in the scale of things and that most things were "just a phase".

1 was easy for me.
2 hit me like a bus. This is when I had to adjust. Less time for me personally to do things like go to the gym.
3 just slotted in. Our house is always noisy but I love it. My kids are capable of sorting out most squabbles themselves which is down to sharing.

I did end up with new baby plus potty training plus starting reception all at the same time. I'm not sure if I'd plan it that way again. New babies are all consuming and the gradual start in reception (which was pointless for my confident DC) was a total pain 3 weeks after a section but that is temporary.

We've found getting a babysitter for three quite challenging. Quite often people (family) will take one or two but they don't want them all. That's fine with us, we pay for a professional occassionally when want a night out but out friends with one definitely get more time alone. We're at peace with this, but some people might find it hard.

BackforGood

By far and away the easiest change, for us.

I was completely knocked sideways when dc1 was born;
Found 1 to 2 a much easier adjustment;
Found 2 to 3 the easiest of all.

Think I was a better parents - more relaxed. I realised every little thing wasn't that important in the scale of things and that most things were "just a phase".

this

The one disadvantage I found is that if the first two are pair-ish,the third can get excluded.

Thanks for your advice x

I found 1-2 hardest! Loved having three children!! Now have 4! Still love it but find the balance is a bit more to the kids where as with three I still felt more in control 😂😂

Should of said had a 5 year gap between 3-4 child where as others were all 2 years apart!

Harder jump was from 1 to 2 for me. To 3 was the easiest but my 3rd baby is luckily very chilled so maybe I'm just lucky. Might be with noting though that my eldest is 11 so not dealing with 3 young ones.

Our third was the most challenging for us. I had dc1&2 20 months apart and got on just fine but there is a 9 year gap between dc2&3. I think it’s the big age gap that does it. Not because it was going back to the baby stage, I love the baby stage but because dc3 is on a different page to our older two. That said we wouldn’t be without dc3.

2 to 3 was horrific because baby had undiagnosed silent reflux and they refused to listen to me!!

3-4 was an absolute doddle!

I think it depend on the age gap a lot.

I had a baby when boys were 7 and 9. She was a nightmare for the first 1,5 years. Still is a most challenging child.
Very clingy, very needy.

Problems for me are:

Different age, different needs. When boys were little, with a small age gap, I could do things with them, which suited them both. And if I chose to just hang out at home in front of the Peppa Pig - so be it.
Fitting a baby with pre teenagers and their needs: school, sport trainings, different kind of attention they need was challenging.

1. Costs escalate.

Because of these different needs, with two I managed to keep the house myself (cooking, cleaning). Now I need help twice a week.

1. Not being able to go on a holiday.

Like ever. With 3 older kids (2 mine plus my husband’s son) it was still possible. With 3/4 it’s super expensive.

1. Childcare. Finding someone who will look after 2 kids is easy. Finding someone who will look after a zoo - beyond difficult. And. Expensive.

1. Loads more washing. Might not seem so, but it is!

Pros:

Honestly, for the first 2 years I couldn’t find any. And that’s an absolutely honest answer.

But now I’m happy to have a little girl, who is simply wonderful. And she was great for boys, as they are fantastic with her.

It’s a choice only you can make. But, it can be challenging.

1 - I found easy, so much so that we had only 13 months gap between him and dd. Going from 1 to 2 I found the hardest part. Number 3 is now 4 months (eldest two were 4.5 and 5.5 when he was born) honestly I’m really finding it good! 1-2 was a million times harder. So much so, we are considering having a 4th! X

I found one difficult, two wasn't much different and I hardly even noticed the third.