Cannot decide on whether to have 3rd!!! 😭

[MummyDeux]

I have a 3 year old and 1 year old. Boy and girl. Found it really hard going from 1-2 but they are a delight. DD is very clingy, drops her toys and cries when I walk out the room and only wants me to hold her when I’m around. Don’t know how she’d be with a baby. DS was great when she was born but then went through terrible 2s and still has major tantrums, some of them from having to share. First pregnancy and birth were easy. Second pregnancy and birth were v hard I thought I was done. We just about have space in our house and would definitely need a new car. Yet I obsess over having a 3rd. Every time I see families of 3 my heart twangs. My husband said it’s upto me as he’d be happy to and isn’t worried about car/house etc but I am! I grew up with 3 and we didn’t have enough and I always wished we had more but then my household wasn’t a happy one. I worry about disadvantaging my current 2 by having less time and money but then I worry about them being lonely with just 1 of them. What if one goes away. Really cannot decide and don’t feel time is on my side as I want to be done by 40 and I’m 38! Also have found it hard going back to work after second child and think I would basically have to kiss my job goodbye if I went on mat leave yet again. Both me and my DH need to work so that’s another factor. Any advice anyone??

My DC3 is 7 months old. He's gorgeous and I adore him but I do think life has become much more stressful. My older 2 are 7 and nearly 5. DS1 is a handful and whilst he's lovely with his brother, I feel very stretched. I also feel like easy DD in the middle is neglected, despite my best efforts, because of the demands of the boys.
Plus I'm exhausted!

Hmm I am the same as you OP, would be 3.5 years between 2 and 3 if things happened next week. Really hard decision. Add another sibling which is wonderful but risk breaking an amazing relationship between 1 and 2 and potentially being unable to do some stuff for them that we may well be able to if we stop at 2.

Well here I am 3 years on, the feeling is still there. It went away, came back, went and is now back along with regret for not doing it. Kids are 6 and 4 now. 4 year old is due to start school. Me and DH are now in 40s and I got ill, better now but they wanna put me on meds that I can’t family plan while on so all feels too late. Think I need to be happy with what I have. There’s people that want children or want more than 1 yet here I am with a boy and a girl and it’s still not enough. Makes me feel guilty but the feeling just ain’t going away.

@Waiting1987 what did you decide in the end?

And @Chaosonthehorizon what did you decide? 😃