4 children...socially acceptable...??

[4rylou]

I have 4 children 15, 12, 8 and 4. I was a stay at home mum for the best part of 10yrs but have recently got a part time job. The thing is im 37 but look really young for my age, it really bothers me and actually is starting to affect my daily life. I feel like ive hidden away in my own little bubble for so long and now i almost feel embarrased to be me. I think because i look young i avoid telling people i have 4 children. There reaction is always the same, it like shock and horror and why wpuld you kind of reaction...I feel so bad for saying this but i almost feel embarrassed. We have all these young uni students at work that have there whole lives panned out and i just feel like ive done nothing. Maybe i sound self absorbed but i feel like my confidence has taken a massive knock. I just woundered if anybody else had ever felt this way...

You have four children. You've done loads! And you're only 37 so there's plenty of time to do loads of other, different stuff too.
I have the opposite - I'm the only person I know with just one child and I'm older than you. I always feel a bit bad about that, like my kid is missing out on a big family. But that's just the way it turned out for us. Grass is always greener :)

Hi, I feel the same too. I have 4 children too aged 14,12,9 & 4 and I’m 38 but I look younger than my age but sometimes people’s reactions makes me feel bad but I don’t let the reaction to bring me down lol. I have been a stay at home mum since 2014 when my youngest was born and also due to my husband job working abroad a lot. I’m looking forward to start work in January since now my son is settled in school well. Be proud of yourself

Thankyou, i should be greatful really and stop over thinking. Maybe it is a case of thinking the grass is greener, i have a habit of over thinking. I just struggle with being judged but i guess its a case of not letting it bother me. Cecila2016 your children are practically the same age as mine! Xx

I have four children aged 3-11, am 45 and look approximately 312 years old.

You have nothing to feel awkward about!

No issues regarding looking young. Surely that's good?

I thought the thread would be about overpopulating the planet!

I'm pregnant with my 4th and I'm 29. Only just over 12 wks though, so it isn't coming knowledge.

The first was a surprise at 19, and then j got married and went on to have the others. I studied and worked hard between DC1 and DC2 to get a good career, and now I work in patient-facing role 3 days a week. I gets lots of "you have THREE kids? You don't look old enough to have one!" and one patient last year who flat out refused to believe I was 28 .
I don't suit a lot of make up (I'm crap at it), and I'm quite petite, so I think that's what does it.

A lot of uni students aren't thinking about family planning. Most are thinking about career progression, travelling etc. I think it's great that they have goals and things that they want to achieve, but it doesn't make what you've achieved any less.

Also, while it's great that they have lots of ideas , they have largely been untempered by reality. So they might think that they'll graduate, go travelling for a year, come back to dozens of job offers in rewarding careers with good pay, meet the man of their dreams, get married 3 years later, get big promotion enabling them to work part time for a full time wage, have 2.4 kids while becoming a "yoga-mum" (my sister's aspiration) etc.... They're young an enthusiastic, and have every right to be. You have every right to be equally as enthusiastic about your future.

There are people out there who would love to have 4 kids who love them and a husband.

*common knowledge

I've been thinking about your OP since I read it earlier this morning. I just wanted to add that while on maternity leave with DC2 I felt intense regret over everything I had done to get more qualifications and to up my income. I really passionately wanted to be a SAHM to my kids, but as the higher earner it just wasn't practical. I went P/T instead.

I'd still really love to be a SAHM and I'm hoping not to go back after maternity leave with DC4.

I know a job can give you fulfilment, and it's good for pension purposes etc, but I feel really strongly that there's more I'd like to do with my time. I'd love to spend more time with my kids and dog, I'd like to volunteer more, and long-term I'd love to foster when my kids are up a bit.

I just wanted to come back and balance out my PPs, as I think they came across a bit "career is essential to fulfilment" which I really don't buy into anymore.