Have I really messed up?

[Mesmeri]

I love my kids so much. But I feel like I'm constantly at the end of my tether. Always seem to be nagging/telling someone off for something. And I have so little patience just now!

They are aged 6, 4 and 2 and I am 7 months pregnant with no.4. I am (in my head) blaming my short temper on being pregnant and hoping very much to sort myself out. I do try to take every opportunity I can to praise them, spend time with each one individually and generally try to be the mother I want them to remember from their childhood. But sometimes I can't help feeling like I've really messed up/bitten off more than I can chew by having 4, how do I calm down and stop getting so wound up about stupid things (eg picking up toys, do as you're told NOW, listen to me... etc etc)

Please, wiser more experienced parents of 4 and more, how do you prevent yourself from turning into a poor parody of Basil Fawlty?

I have the same problem but mine are 11 5 2 and 8 months pregnant. The older 2 I have given them chores to do so the older has to clean his room bring washing down and do the dishes after tea.5 year old cleans the toys out the living room and puts them in the you cupboard and makes her bed and 2 year old kinda helps if I make it into a game for her.

I feel like I nag them day in day out some days are worse than others do I tend to take my self of for 5 mins and calm my self down and then go back and when they are in bed I sit down with a nice big mug of tea and loads of chocolate ..

Uh oh, read my post in the ‘did you always plan a large family’ thread.

At least we are not alone OP. I feel like I’ve messed up too because I can’t do a good job of being a mum and can’t hold my temper in the midst of the relentless noise and snot and poo and screaming and fighting and pestering. But the 5 and 4 yr old are actually great. And I will make them very independent and able to do things for themselves out of necessity for my mental health! But I think that’s a good thing.

I dunno OP, I think we might just be at the peak shitness right now with a little baby plus nappies and tantrums and physical neediness.

Thanks both of you! Yeah it's true, the older 2 have more responsibilities and are more independent (by necessity) than some other kids their age from smaller families, which I like to think will be helpful for them in the long run. Just hope they don't end up hating me for it!