I currently have 3 kids, DS who’s 2 and G/B twins who are 1. My DH has always said he wants 4, and i’ve always said I don’t. But the true is for months i’ve wanted another baby. I don’t tell family/friends as they would actually think I’m mad.
There is a long list of reasons why it’s not a great idea, the main reason is my kidneys stopped working after I had the twins, we ended up staying in hospital for 5 days to check they were working, after tests only one of them is fully working but they can’t tell me if it’s pregnancy related. The specialist didn’t say I can’t have any more but that I should let them know if I do so I can be closely monitored. But in my head it’s not worth the risk of my kidney not working when I have the kids to think about.
Other reasons include I hate being pregnant, I am the most miserable pregnant person, I think having my DS and the twins so close really put a strain on my body, I was also pregnant the year before my ds was born but ended up having to terminate the pregnancy.
I don’t have lots of help with the kids, my mil is great and will always help if I asked but she’s in her 70’s and looking after 3 kids is a lot. My sister is fantastic and helps when she can but lives 3 hours away.
We live in a 3 bed house, there isn’t anywhere to put another baby. I’m convinced it will also be twins or triplets. Also i’d need a bigger car. The cost of 3 is bad enough.
With our first my dh was more patient, my ds had colic and he would rock him and cuddle him and he was a lot of the time better at settling him, although he never did any night feeds. We were in a good routine with my DS going to bed and is watching tv. With the twins he was less patient, he almost resented them for disturbing our evening, they were much easier babies and just wanted cuddles. He did do one night a week, that stopped at 5 months (we got a night nanny a couple of times a week for 2 months) The twins started sleeping all night I think at 8 months. That nearly broke me, I hated and resented my husband it still really annoys me now at how unhelpful he was. If we had another baby I’d be doing all the nights again and looking after 3 kids.
I’ll be 39 in January, I don’t think I want a baby in my 40’s.
It’s hard work now, although getting slightly easier, I feel like there is always a child hanging on me. But when they all laugh and start playing together it melts my heart and they are such a joy.
After all this I still want another baby, i miss the new born stage. I would like my ds to have a sister, I know I can’t choose.
Will I regret not having another? My sisters tell me you just know when your done and I thought I was, I keep thinking it’s just hormones and the desire will go away. Sorry this turned into a long post, I just need to get it off my chest!