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Original poster

Third baby in 2 bedroom house??

17 replies

Jellybellymoo · 18/09/2018 22:00

Hi ladies,

So I am looking for some advice ... I currently live in a 2 bedroom house which I must add is a nice size, 2 double bedrooms, large lounge, conservatory, 2 toilets and utility. Our downstairs living space is very accommodating but we only have 2 bedrooms! We currently have 2 boys 4 and 18 months who are very happy sharing. The thing is I am desperate to have a third, we planned to stop at 2 but I am so broody. Being 1 of 3 myself I just love the dynamic of a slightly larger family. I am just worried our house would not accommodate and I don’t want to compromise my other 2 children for having another baby! We hope to add an extension in the next 3-4 years adding another bedroom. Would it be unreasonable to consider having another?

I also work part time as a nurse and I would need to continue working after the baby is born (3 days a week) I would need child care for 2 days for the baby as my other 2 will be at school/pre-school! I currently don’t pay for childcare as my parents help but they have already said they wouldn’t be able to help with another baby as my mum struggles due to health conditions. However I feel financially we could manage!

— I feel like the logical and sensible solution is to stick to 2 children but I cannot shake this feeling of waning another! 😢 I feel I’ll regret it later on!

Thanks in advance!

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shapeshifter88 · 18/09/2018 22:03

if u can afford all that childcare plus saving however many thousand you will need for the extension then can you not just get the extension done sooner and have a baby after?

Fucksgiven · 18/09/2018 22:03

You're going to have to move or extend anyway as you already need an extra bedròm, so I'd go for it if two extra bedrooms is doable

EndeavourVoyage · 18/09/2018 22:06

When I grew up, a long time ago (1960’s). There were 4 kids in a 2 bedroom house. (3 Girls 1 Boy) When the boy arrived my dad partitioned the biggest room off into two rooms. For 12 years my brother had to walk through our room to get to his. We survived.

Original poster

Jellybellymoo · 18/09/2018 22:11

Well childcare isn’t a massive expense for only twice a week, I could also adjust my shifts to working nights etc so save on that if required! also I don’t necessarily need 4 bedrooms as children can share! Who’s to say we can’t move in the future! We can’t afford the extension now which is why we are waiting 3-4 years otherwise of course that would solve our problem! We could move but love our house and location! I am just worried it will affect my other 2 children adding a third in the mix whilst we only have 2 bedrooms!

OP posts:

Smellybean · 18/09/2018 22:12

My three shared the largest bedroom. I put three Ikea beds next to eachother (they were two years apart from eachother ) they loved it. They had so much fun playing together and at nights they were all giggling and chatting till they all fell asleep together. We moved when my eldest was 10 years old. It worked for us.

Fabricwitch · 18/09/2018 22:13

When I grew up (1990s) I shared a room with my 2 brothers until the oldest was around 11? and we got an extension.
My DH shared a room with his 2 brothers until the oldest moved out.
I think it's fine, especially if the room is big!

GreenMeerkat · 18/09/2018 22:14

If it's a large enough room as you say, then three can easily share, especially as young as they are. You can get really cool triple bunk beds these days!

Fucksgiven · 18/09/2018 22:17

Different strokes for different folks I guess. I wouĺdnt have children having to share, and would have hated not having my own space and privacy growing up

Original poster

Jellybellymoo · 18/09/2018 22:18

That’s reassuring to hear! We never intend on it remaining that way for the rest of their lives it was just be for he foreseeable future. I’m thinking the baby will be in our room for the first year anyway and then the boys could have bunk beds when baby moves in their room in a cot? There is plenty of space. I just don’t want to cause any distress on my other 2 if they feel they never have their own personal space! - I’m a massive over worrying when it comes to decision making! Especially in such a big decision like having another child ... I just feel I could never regret having another?!

OP posts:

CecilyNeville · 18/09/2018 22:23

My parents only bought a two bed when I was born, and we stayed in it until we were 10, 8 and 6, but the downstairs was just an eat-in kitchen and a living room. We were fine! Your family can definitely get 5 or so years like this.

Original poster

Jellybellymoo · 18/09/2018 22:24

I understand the reasoning for not wanting to share as you get older - I was the same and fortunately had my own space growing up! When we plan to build the extension we are actually adding an extra room downstairs which could either be a second reception room or potential 4th bedroom if required! So I know we could adapt to that if needed. But i really don’t feel that it is necessary to do that whilst they are young - my 2 boys love sharing and won’t go to bed unless the other one is there with them! I think it makes them closer when growing up to!

OP posts:

Original poster

Jellybellymoo · 18/09/2018 22:28

Thank you Cecily - these are the sort of success stories I was hoping for 😁 I often think I’m crazy wanting to complicate my life so much but I literally can’t shake the feeling of wanting another baby. Never thought I’d feel like this after my second!

OP posts:

StrumpersPlunkett · 18/09/2018 22:32

Just for balance.
I was totally desperate for number 3
It was an obsession
It didn’t happen because I couldn’t convince dh
Now 10 years on he really was right.
It took me a couple of years to not feel my womb ache with every pregnant lady or baby passing by. But it is a joy to be mum to 2 boys. ( not that it would have been less of a joy with three but two can be ok)

Original poster

Jellybellymoo · 18/09/2018 22:39

Strumpers - I completely know where you are coming from. I have, on numerous occasions tried to convince myself having 2 is the perfect and most definetely easier option! I’m just massively struggling to come to terms with it! My husband has agreed to a third but now he has agreed I am overthinking everything! I’m completely in 2 minds, my head says no and my heart says yes.

OP posts:

Vinylsamso · 18/09/2018 22:50

Dont see the problem with 3 kids sharing at all. It was the norm not so many moons ago and is still very normal in other cultures. Families are growing apart which in my opinion is not a good thing. The Western World makes many mistakes and we are obsessed with how we appear to others. Family and close bonds are far more important than modern space standards. They will no doubt have some really funny memories from sharing with 3 too.

Mummaluelae · 01/10/2018 16:46

Go for what makes you happy if financialy stable enough. 3 children can share, or convert another room into bedroom. I currently live in small 2 bed flat. 2dc. Too many toys. Bed1 is DC bedroom. Bed2 is playroom. Mummy and daddy sleep on kingsize sofabed from ikea in living room. It works for us!

wejammin · 01/10/2018 16:53

I'm due DC3 next month. We live in a 2 bed terrace with DS(6) and DD(3). Currently the kids share a double room in bunk beds and DH and I have the larger double.

We're hoping to move next year, but my main issue is only 1 toilet rather than bedrooms, and a bigger garden. The kids spend most of their time downstairs playing at the moment.

There's no room to extend here. If we can't move for some time, I will put the kids in the bigger room and maybe partition off a space for DS as he gets more homework etc.

It does worry us, but not enough to stop us having another much wanted baby.

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