To have one more or not

[LadyCLS]

Ladies, how do you know when you’re done? I have 2 dc’s, ds who is 3.5 and dd who is 15 months but since having dd I’ve not been able to shake the possibility of having one more even though before dd I wasn’t that keen on having 2 let alone 3! DH is happy with two and the sensible part of me thinks it’s the easier option. We have enough space at home and are thinking about a new car at some point in the not too distant future so they’re not a major issue. We don’t live an extravagant lifestyle, we do go on holiday and days out but not very often and we both work so would need childcare for a couple of days however my eldest would be at school then. I worry with one more that my existing dc’s might feel left out but then I’m one of 2 and often felt my parents favoured my sister and my sil is the same and is one of two. I don’t want to have regrets but also don’t want to feel guilty towards my children. If we did go for it I would ideally hope for a 2-3 year gap as we currently have 2 years 4 months different and love it.

If you’ve been in the situation what have you done?

When you are done you will know. It's hard to explain but you will know, really.

If you can afford another and have the space then talk, talk and talk to your DP and see what agreement you can come up with.

My DC3 was a bit of a surprise but I'd always hoped for another baby even though my 2 DDs were the perfect twosome. I just knew I wasn't done yet. Ds came along and I'm so glad he's here. I can't imagine life without him even though I'm a single mum and it's hard. Up until a few months ago I wasn't sure that I was done yet. I always said if I met someone who really wanted a child, especially if they didn't have any dc, then I would happily have another one. But now he's starting nursery next month and we are at the stage of being toilet trained and more independent (although still breastfed! ) and I know I don't want to go through the baby stage again. However I say that as a single mum as it was bloody hard being on my own from the day I found out I was pregnant and already having two children. If I was married or with a partner then maybe I'd consider even though I am 42, but I think you just know when you are done. I was sad for a few months about not having any more but now I've kind of accepted it and am ok with it. It's a weird thing to think that that part of your life is over though and it's normal to mourn it.
I'm a great believer in things being meant to be so see how life pans out

I have 4 DCs. After 3rd, the thought of another was ok... if I got pregnant it would be fine. I loved being pregnant and after years of infertility and TTC, it was almost a way of life.

I feel totally different now. DC4 is like a full stop and I absolutely do not want another child. It surprises me that I feel like this but I’m done and I know it.