Advice on second baby please ladies!!!

[Girlsmumma2]

I have just found out I am pregnant again. Ever since the birth of my dd I have always wanted a sibling for her and could not wait for this to happen, always spoke about either dh and we felt the same.
We had been trying on and off since last yr
(Dd now 2.5) so would be over 3 when by the time youngest comes along.
When I see those blue lines appear I felt instantly guilty towards my beautiful dd, thought how could I ever love anyone as much, all these questions when a few days before the test was negative and I was gutted. Now I feel like I’ve got a sensible head on all of a sudden and won’t be able to cope with 2, and I don’t want it to take anything away from my first dd. I like the life we have, we manage to get out and about quite abit As a family and socially as a couple now and then, me and my dd often go out for lunch and little groups/play things etc together and I don’t want that all to change. My husband thinks I’m mad as this is what I waned now I feel like what have I done do I even what a second and ideally having another in a yrs time would be better for us.
My dd was a perfect baby always slept through, never winged and I really enjoyed those baby stages. What if the next one was a nightmare baby?
Sorry for the long post

Your dd is getting the greatest gift she can ever get from you. It far outweighs having to share you with someone.

Having a baby, any baby, is life changing so I think you are just freaking out a bit about that. Yes a lot of what you describe will happen, it is far harder to do adult stuff when you’ve 2+ children compared to 1 and yes, if your dd was an easy baby it’s possible you’ll have a slightly or massively harder one this time BUT none of that compares to how much love, fun, personality and joy your new baby will bring to your family. You can’t have everything but what you are getting is much better than what you currently have, you just can’t imagine it yet.

Thank you for taking the time to reply. I just feel like it’s made me realise I am happy with our life at the moment and don’t want anything to jeopardise what we have. People with more than one child always seem so stressed out, there is no doubting it will be harder and it’s jist a question if I’m ready for that right now. Sigh...

I had to reply to this because you are me about year ago. Honestly I could have written your post pretty much word for word. I couldn’t believe how guilty I felt when I saw those two lines. I got over it a bit during the course of my pregnancy with DC2 but then it kind of ramped up again right at the end. I felt especially awful leaving/ abandoning DC1 while in hospital giving birth. I was only gone for about 12 hours, most of which were at night.

I absolutely cannot put into words how amazing it is seeing my DCs together. Honestly, it is absolutely incredible seeing the love between them grow. Now I KNOW that sounds cheesy - I did a little bit of sick in my mouth just typing it - but honestly they really do adore each other and I feel absolutely ridiculous for worrying so much about ruining my toddler’s life - has adapted fantastically to sharing mummy and daddy (less so to sharing his toys 😉 ) DC1 is my most reliable form of entertainment for DC2. Baby crying? Toddler will provide giggles. Baby asleep? Toddler will wake up with an enthusiastic poke. Ok so I admit that one is a bit annoying.

I’m not saying I’ve found it easy going from 1 to 2 because I did find the early days tough and it took a while to get used to getting out and about with them both. But seeing the bond between my babies has been my absolute favourite things, so I needn’t have worried about that bit. Not saying I don’t expect fighting and bickering as they get older by the way- just that the initial transition for my toddler has been absolutely bloody brilliant.

You get used to the practicalities after a while. And even though DC2 didn’t sleep quite as well quite as soon as DC2, it didn’t take long for things to settle. I didn’t expect another amazing super sleeper, but what I got was pretty damn close.

I’ll stop waffling on soon, but just one tip in case you find yourself shouting at the top of your voice because your toddler won’t stop whinging and you’re sleep deprived and hormonal... love bombing really does work. Wait till your baby is asleep and shower your toddler with as much affection as they will tolerate 😬

Congratulations on the pregnancy by the way! Xx