Don't know if it's fair to have a second child

[MumsTheWord92]

We currently have a 9 month old daughter and have already had the talk about wanting another baby. We both do but I just don't know how we'd cope with space and financially... We live in a smallish 2 bedroom house that's rented. We are nowhere near able to buy our own place and I'm currently a stay at home mum. If we were to have another baby they would need to be in our room until they slept through fully and didn't disturb our daughter (so could be until a year old) and I dread the thought of that when illness hits the family as we'll just be all waking each other up constantly for weeks. When they were to share a room we'd need to get a bunk bed and even then it will be a tight fit. I really dread the thought of moving to another, bigger, house and paying higher rent when we already pay quite a lot now. Find myself awake most nights unable to sleep over this. I know some people will say for me to go back to work but my partner's hours are all over the place as he can work anywhere in the country and sometimes goes away for work so we'd need to pay for childcare anyway and he too wants me to raise our children and not someone else. How do other people cope with space?

It doesn’t sound like a second child would be right for your family and that’s perfectly fine. Don’t stress too much about it if you can help it, just enjoy your baby!

Why don't you wait a bit and see if your situation changes. Would it be an option to have a bigger age gap?

I wouldn't let the size of your house put you off. My DD (just turned 1) is still sleeping in my bedroom anyway, even though there's space for her to have her own room.

I also know plenty of young children who share bedrooms. Could you swap bedrooms and fit a double bed in the smaller room and then the DC could have the bigger room allowing for a bed for your daughter and a cot for a younger sibling.

Having two children isn't much more expensive than one in the early days (you won't have to make any/many purchases as you'll already have all the baby stuff).

You could start looking into some flexible work options so that you could work part-time when your DP is able to look after your daughter.
I'd try to start bringing some money in and then reassess the situation in a few months/years time and see if you feel more confident about it then.

We were looking at an age gap of 2 to 3 years so wasn't going to start trying any time soon. Partner is 32 and he has said he doesn't want another child too late. He was the eldest in his family and the age gap between him and the second eldest was 4 years and he said it wasn't great. Was a 2 and a half year gap between me and my sister and it was good.

9 months is tiny! I don't think in your situation a small age gap would be ideal but you have plenty of time. Wait a year or two and enjoy your dd, then decide. For what it's worth we have a 4.5 year gap due to circumstance (moving countries, miscarriage) and its been amazing. They share a room now despite the fact we have 3 bedrooms and a biggish house (dc2 was in with us until 20 months by choice) and actually end up in the same bed most nights because they like that. We were able to get into a much more financially stable situation with the big gap and it made it all less stressful.