4th c section / experiences of 4th after larger age gap

[Familyiseverything]

Hi considering 4th but will need a 4th c section. My children are 9,7,5 so there would be quite a gap - is it too big now? I have wanted another for 2 years but my husband is only now (slightly) coming round to the idea. I am worried in case something goes wrong although I have always recovered well. I have been booked for a pelvic scan to investigate heavy periods so I am going to ask if they can have a look at my scar. Was never told about lots of scar tissue but last time we said husband was getting vasectomy so they may not have felt the need mention it. He would need a reversal so it is a BIG decision for many reasons. Is it all a bit too much?
Anyone have experience of 3 close together & then a larger gap?

I had 2 girls aged 9,5 and had a 3rd all by c section
Then I fell legacy again aged 44 when my girls were 19,15,10 sadly it didn’t end well but if I was allowed to ttc after I would have that decision wa taken away from me as I had late babyloss to sepsi and hemoraghing at 5 minus pregnant

My advice is don’t live to regret what you could of had but didn’t try 🌸💕

Meme70 thank you for your reply and im so sorry for your loss! Xx

Hi Familyiseverything

I have 3dc 17,8 and 6 (nearly 7) and we’ve been ttc #4 since last summer.
I wanted another when dd3 was about 2 but it’s taken this long to get dh on board. I regularly panic that the gap is too large (especially having done a 9yr gap before between 1&2) however I think I would regret not trying more than working through the age gap issues again.

I’ve had 4 cc and living to tell take. They did then sterilise me...

There is a 13 year gap between my eldest and youngest and its great. They are great pals and it works really well. My nightmare gap was 16 months!! It was 15 years ago and it still is to this day!!!

Thankyou everyone. I know my 3 children would love a baby brother or sister. Just need to get my husband more on board. He is saying that he doesn't think its a good idea but if its what I want......Would only want to do it if he was fully on board. I just know he would have no regrets once they arrived though.

I have had three by CS. Would love a fourth but as the area where my scar is was very thin even 7 years after the last one, I am not taking that risk

This weekend one of my sons was away on a rugby tour - it was amazing how much more time I had for the other two

I love big families but even dividing time between three is hard. If there was a number four especially after a large gap - it would have been even harder eg. Can't go to movies together/ fun fair rides/ can't leave at home together etc etc

I also am conscious of the responsibility of having children and to ensure they are well provided for in the event of our death. Easier to provide for three than four (obviously much easier for less). In addition easier to find guardians for a fewer number of kids

If the womb wasn't a problem would I go for no:4? Yes I would. But bear all of above in mind

Plus whatever we say our biology hasn't changed and things are more complicated for baby and mum after aged 35

Why do you want a 4th? Genuine question.

I don't think you should have to persuade anyone to do this and a reversal is a big issue in itself.

I am 34 at moment & I am aware that time will not be on my side for much longer.

The reasons I want 4 - because I love having children! Not just babies - children! I love our days out together. I love watching them enjoy their clubs, I love snuggling up all together watching a movie, reading together. I picture the future as a busy but happy household.

I still work part time and would continue to do so. My work fits around school hours so I am not relying on other people. We are reasonably comfortable with 3 at the moment.

I agree it will be harder to find days out to suit everyone but we haven't quite yet got to the point where everyone can do everything together. The youngest isn't big enough for all the rides etc...but when she is the eldest always has to go on his own!

I was 9 when my youngest brother was born & I adored him.

I agree a reversal is a massive decision & I would not allow my husband to do it unless he was completely onboard. However I have struggled to think of much else for a long time & so as hard as I try it is also hard for me to come to terms with no more.

I had 4 sections and it was completely fine. I did get surprise twins with no 4 though and was surprised to learn how common it is with more children and the older you are so consider this could be you! Our 4th pregnancy was a bit of a surprise as we’d only just started thinking about the possibility of it and didn’t really think it was sensible. We of course wouldn’t change things now, but I often think it would be better for the older children if we’d stuck with 3. It is really hard to give them all the attention they need and we worry about it becoming a lot more expensive as they get older. Ours are all close together, they are now 9,8,5,3,3, which I’m glad of as they can enjoy similar things. The older 2 love having the little ones though and are great with them so your gap would be the same x

I should add it’s nice to know we will never look back and think we should have had more. We are totally done (in!) If you have that desire and can approach it sensibly (financially being a big one for us) then I’d go for it! x

Ah thanks for your honest reply! Hats off to you with 5...really not sure if we could manage if it was twins! A lot of my husbands concerns are financial & not being able to give them all enough attention but I do think like you say, that if we didnt go for it we would always look back & wander what if. Nice to hear of others with 4 csections-it doesnt seem very common

5th baby on the way and there will be a 5year gap between the youngest and baby and 12 between oldest and youngest. I think I lost my marbles agessss ago lol! Excited for baby and I'm preparing to put away all my "pretty things" and baby proof the house again 🙈 Definitely done after this one though. People don't believe me when I tell them I don't actually enjoy being pregnant but it's all worth it Each to their own but a big family is definitely right for us.

Aw congrats fallen angel. Thats how I feel about pregnancy too would love to feel another little baby kicking away - 4 can't be too bad if you are doing it all again 😘 x

I had 4 c sections in exactly 8 years (almost to the day)...no problems but my age gaps weren’t that big...