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Original poster

Bedroom sharing

21 replies

Rorymum · 23/02/2018 22:45

Hi all, Id really like to know if any of your children share bedrooms and if so what advice do you have? Can you mix boys and girls and if so up to what age and can you fit 3 children in a small house with one small bathroom?!

We have 2 daughters with a 4 year age gap and I just don't feel like our family is finished, but one is already in a box room and our house is old and small with 3 smaller than average bedrooms and no room to extend or convert. At this point in our lives moving again is not a thing and I'm just wondering if I need to come to terms with our most recent beautiful baby being our last.

I'd really value some brutal honesty here :-)

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FabulouslyFab · 23/02/2018 22:48

My sister and I were four years difference and shared a bedroom til we married in our early twenties! It was just how it was

bretonknickers · 23/02/2018 22:52

We have a 3 bed, but our two share a room (DD 3 and DS 5) as:

They're very close and love having "sleepovers"
We can then use the spare bedroom as a "playroom".

How old are your daughters? You could trial them sharing a room together first to see how they get on.
(depends I suppose if you can fit 2 singles in one room or if they will be old enough at the time to share bunk beds)

Original poster

Rorymum · 23/02/2018 22:53

Thank you Fabulously. I'd love my daughters to share but I don't want them to end up resenting each other or us or wanting to leave!

OP posts:

Ceebs85 · 23/02/2018 22:54

I shared with my brother (2.5yrs younger than me) til I went to uni. You can't let lack of bedrooms rule your decision on something so important!

zzzzz · 23/02/2018 22:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bretonknickers · 23/02/2018 22:55

I think guidance says you shouldn't have Boys and Girls sharing after age 7, which I suppose is when we will put them into their separate rooms (if they haven't asked to already by then of course)

Original poster

Rorymum · 23/02/2018 22:59

Thanks Knickers. Definitely couldn't fit two singles in but could do bunk beds, there wouldn't be much floor space for clothes/storage. My youngest is coming up to 6 months so it's soon to tell. If we had a third girl the youngest and little one now could potentially share, but if we had a boy I'm just not sure how we'd work it

OP posts:

bretonknickers · 23/02/2018 23:03

One consideration I would mention is if you have a baby/young toddler sharing with a school age child, that the baby could potentially keep her awake and affect her school performance. Thankfully we didn't have this issue much as DD and DS both sleep like logs but it was something we were worried about when DS started school.

Whitelisbon · 23/02/2018 23:04

I currently have two boys (11 and 4) and a girl (4) sharing a room, and there they will stay until dd1 leaves home in 2 years, when the 11 yo will get the box room, and the 2 yo will move in with the dts. The 2 yo is still in with us.
Bedrooms aren't really the problem, 1 bathroom between 7 is more of an issue.

Original poster

Rorymum · 23/02/2018 23:07

Thank you ceebs. Our lack of finances is because I've left work to be a stay at home mum and i just feel needed by my babies! You're right that rooms shouldn't dictate. Do sibling relationships survive if you've had limited shared space? ( My brothers shared and have never got on, now in their 30s)

OP posts:

NapQueen · 23/02/2018 23:09

They can all share as long as you need. Personally Im aiming for separate rooms for dd and ds when the eldest hits puberty. They are 6 and 3 and share the bigger of our two bedrooms. So ive got a few years yet. They love sharing!

GnomeDePlume · 23/02/2018 23:12

It isnt just about the bedrooms. What about living space? When we were 5 in a 3 bedroom house the ground floor was too small. It felt as though if someone came in through the front door then someone else would have to go out through the back door.

It isnt just about boys/girls. What about personalities? Some children will be fine at sharing, others will struggle with it either openly or privately.

Original poster

Rorymum · 23/02/2018 23:13

Yep Breton I completely agree and my eldest daughter has taken 3 years to sleep through and I'd hate to disturb that. White Lisbon that sounds lovely. I agree the bathroom is a concern. Ours is basically a shower room with a toilet in it at the moment.

OP posts:

Original poster

Rorymum · 23/02/2018 23:17

Gnomedeplume thank you. My feeling is the girls won't be able to share because my eldest will need more privacy. I suppose it's hard to know who you'll get before you've had them, so it's easier to decide on family size if you have space to play with. Our downstairs is more practical than upstairs thankfully.

OP posts:

LovingLola · 23/02/2018 23:21

I shared with my sisters all the way up to my mid-teen years. My brothers also shared.
I felt I was in a much better position than my best friend who shared with her great-aunt !!! Right up until she was 18 when her brother got married and moved out and she moved into his room.

JoJoSM2 · 23/02/2018 23:32

Similarly to Fabulous, there's 4.5 years between me and my sister. I only moved out in my 20's (I was earning well and had finished uni but enjoyed living at home and was happy sharing). I reckon that as long as the relationship between your DD is well managed and you minimise competitiveness etc + put in tons of storage, they could be happy sharing.

GnomeDePlume · 24/02/2018 10:48

Do you have separate living spaces downstairs eg kitchen diner separate from sitting room? I think being able to get away from each other can help especially as they get older and want friends over.

Would there be room in the garden for an office/study at some point?

KirstenRaymonde · 18/04/2018 20:58

OP I shared with my brother and sister until I was in my teens, when my DDad built a very dodgy partition down the middle of the small double we shared to make some privacy, and DB moved into the loft. Note - not loft conversion, but windowless, 5” at its highest middle point storage loft. Accessed via a ladder through the hatch. His friends all thought he had the best room.

We’re all great friends despite growing up in each other’s pockets. We voluntarily choose to spend time together and all want multiple children. Don’t let lack of space put you off.

ImAce · 23/04/2018 09:30

I have 5 children and a average sized 3 bedroom house.

Myself and DH have one room with the baby (1w) in with us.

My three girls have one room (8y, 6y, 1y).

My boy has the other room (3y and will share with the baby (boy) when he's old enough to leave our room.

The oldest has been having a whinge recently because my eldest boy has a 'room to himself' but that's only temporary till the baby is old enough to join him. Normally everyone gets one well, but it helps that all of my children are amazing sleepers. They all have set bedtimes and all go to sleep within minutes and no stress. We're very lucky!

Otherwise, it is what it is! They've not known any different, and I've raised them not to be ungrateful for having a room full stop. We have homeless people all around the town nearest us, and my children have always been a bit past their years with understanding how lucky we are.

I think it will be what you make it. But do factor in personalities and practicalities over 'boy/girl' mix etc. What works for us, may not work for another family x

PellyBay · 06/07/2018 11:03

My 3 boys (aged 6, 4 and 22 months) share a room. We're having another one next year who will also share. There isn't really another option - we've already extended. Currently they have bunks and the little one is still in a cot but the room is long and thin with a very, very high sloping ceiling so the plan is to build an upper level with a box bed/sleeping platform at either end for the 2 older ones and then the little ones get the bunks.

SweetheartNeckline · 07/07/2018 08:33

I don't think sharing a room is such a problem if there is space elsewhere in the house. 2 of our DDs share - we can't really fit an extra bedroom in so have got a centrally-heated garden room (detached garage conversion) for when they have friends round, and sleepovers will happen in our downstairs playroom.

Space isn't an issue if there are ways round it but it is a factor to consider imo. My eldest is a real introvert (she is loud and not shy and enjoys being a part of the family, but finds being with other people, even family, draining rather than energising) so she gets her own (small) bedroom as a priority.

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