Sen kids in large families

[kaz86]

I'm trying this a different way 😂.
I have 3 children, love them to bits they drive me crackers however here I am still broody!
I have a 7 and nearly 6 year old who have autism and the 5 year old also has adhd. I also have a 2.5 year old! The older two keep asking for another baby they love having a younger sister, it would seem they are just as broody 😂. Funny as the older 2 always get on with the younger one but the older 2 fight with each other.
They are both delayed too and have 1-1 at school. Part of me feels bad as I shouldn't be thinking of more kids as it will mean less time helping them, but the other part sees how they will always have each other and they are never lonely they love playing with each other, they learn so many skills from each other (patience/sharing/communicating/listening/etc).....

I think that having a baby because a 6 and 7 year old are ‘asking’ for one is about the most ridiculous thing I have heard, regardless of how many children in your family have additional needs.

If you want to, can afford to and you have the emotional and physical strength for another child in your family, then that would seem reasonable enough.

You have 4 children; 2 of which have additional needs and have issues where the older 2 are fighting each other. Surely you can see that the added pressure of another child (who may also have on additional needs) will add to any pressures already in the home. Take time and enjoy the 4 children you have. Yes they learn from each other but surely their need for more attention from you overrules this

It's hard isn't it? We have three, the eldest (8) has autism and ADHD. He wasn't diagnosed until after the 3rd was born. It's interesting now to look back and consider whether we would have had the third had we known re DS's diagnoses.

I would also love a 4th but we can't really afford it and I do worry about this 4th child having autism/ADHD and whether we could cope in general with 4 children, whether it's fair to our existing kids etc. We are already stretched with trying to give attention to everyone given how much therapy etc our eldest currently gets.

But this may not be your position! If you and your DH are keen and have the time, support and money, go for it.

Thanks liontigersbears.
It is difficult. :/.
Like you i think what's the chance of number 4 being ok! Luckily number 3 is.
I think sen becomes our normal and that's the issues...

Parrottomyshoulder, I didn't say I wanted another because my kids did, just I meant if we did it's something we would all like, I mean as a family something we all agree we would like. I think when we had our third we were worried how it would plan out, however she was the best thing to happen to us.

Where's the evidence, I have 3 kids not 4.
My older 2 do fight but don't all kids 🤷🏼‍♀️, siblings? They are close in age 18 months apartment. They are either best friends or fighting.

I suppose it can be difficult however it's all worth it. We never go out and never get drunk have parties our kids are our life. We also have no family to help out. Which isn't a issue just means we don't need no one to help. If my older two didn't have sen we would of prob had 4 by now. I suppose because they do this decision is more difficult. On the other hand we know no difference I have no idea what life would be like with two n/t children would it be easier? 🤷🏼‍♀️.

I have 4 dds, 11, 9, 7 and 6. Dd 2 and 4 have ASD. I have to admit it’s been a huge struggle recently. Dd4 ASD is no where near as ‘bad’ as dd2 and while both are HFA, dd2 is mostly likely PDA and can be very challenging.

I really can’t tell you whether or not to have another, we didn’t know about ASD till after all 4 children were born, dd2 started presenting as challenging while pregnant with dd4.

Looking back, we can see how strong ASD is in our families - amazing really to be able to discover so much about it now.

I would have any further children now, probably because I’m 46and have been sterilised, but the reality is I couldn’t manage either.

I don't think it's fair to you, your existing children, or any future ones

Do you think an of this will get any easier as your get older? They are still in KS1. Think ahead a bit.

I'm in the same boat. I have 4. 2 autistic high functioning . Life isn't that bad but we're waiting 3 years until youngest boy is 9. Eldest boy is as good as gold now he older so we're waiting then trying again if we feel life has got a little easier.
I don't care what anyone else says. You're never guaranteed a healthy child anyway yet people still have them. Doesn't mean the new baby will have autism either. Me and my husband are used to a challenging life so life with a with typical child would be too easy for us haha.

Sorry -nurotypical. Phone changed it x