Hi everyone, I have a little girl that is 5 years old, a little boy that is 16 months, and I am about 14 weeks pregnant. My first thought when I found out I was pregnant was how do I stop it. I wanted an abortion by any means and tried to find an option but being in the middle east on work it was extremely hard. As time passed and days became weeks I had a sense of guilt and decided to proceed and tell close family. Now as the baby is growing I want so desperately to enjoy the pregnancy/baby, but I just feel horrible. I barely stopped breastfeeding 2 months ago, it feels too soon to go back. I was waiting for my baby boy to grow so we could do family activities and finally settle into a schedule and "normal" life. It feels like everything is ruined. Finances are tight and our apartment barely fits us. My family lives in the US and it is going to become so hard to travel to see them, since I normally travel alone with 2 kids. My husband works a lot and doesn't provide as much family time and support as we need. I feel like I will be so lonely with 3 children. I feel like I needed time to get used to 2. I feel like my baby didn't get the time and attention he should have and that I am going to miss doing the special things with him because I will be too busy with the new baby. I feel awful and more so I feel guilty. I feel guilty that pretty soon I will have a baby that has made me feel so terrible. I try to get excited about the idea but I feel so heartbroken. I can't imagine how our life will be in another 5 months. Appreciate any advice any of you have.
Nada