How do you know when you are done?

[mummytwoh]

Hi I have 3 children, 5, 3 & 2 weeks😍 During my pregnancy I thought i was 100% done at 3. I had hyperemesis & wanted to kill myself after being sick 20+ times a day for 26 weeks. However now he's here I really can't imagine not having this newborn experience or even birth again.
I love big families they have always fascinated me, and I've always imagined myself to have 5. Although practically I'm not sure how possible that would be :(

So my question is - how do you know when you are done? Is there a definite feeling, or do you always really have the door just a little open for another?

I am going through HG right now, with my third baby. There is no way in hell I can do this again. I just can't.

@LittleBirdBlues oh no its absolutely horrendous isn't it. Did you have it with your other two?
I wouldn't wish it on anyone, I feel terrible saying this now with my gorgeous newborn currently laying on me, but at one point I seriously thought I was going to have to end the pregnancy as I couldn't take much more.
Hope they find some tablets that work for you and it ends soon xxxxx

i have 4, aged between 8 and 2. we are done.

i couldn't risk another pregnancy as i had complications with the last one in particular (but the others werent great either). i've had borderline HG, severe SPD/PGP and placenta praevia. lots of hospital trips. i look around and feel so lucky that baring some baby weight and slightly dodgy hips still i have come out of it all ok and i have 4 healthy children. i cannot risk not being so lucky. i have 4 DC who need their mum more than i need another DC.

Doesn't stop the kick in the uterus when i see a newborn or the addictive smell of the top of their heads! it's hard. it's hard to think i will never do the newborn thing again but deep down i do feel 'done'. its hard to explain but i just know i'm done!

Never felt done with three but now I havw four under 7 I know that it for me. We had a very high risk last pregnancy and the pregnancy before that one we lost in a late stage. I wouldn't do it again. I feel very luck to have 4 as we have had that loss and the additional risks it brought us. Congrats on your baby

I don't think your need to know you're done. I think you need to make a conscious decision based on your circumstances. Having a baby because you feel broody, without due consideration for all other factors (e.g. Caring for other children during the pregnancy is hg is likely, finances, house size, pregnancy risks) isn't a good idea.

Too old it seems . Wanted dc 12 but wasn't to be.
Mmc at 8 weeks and 3 chemicals before that.

I had HG with 1,2 and 3. Only sickna fee times with number 4 and we now have 2 week old ds3 and I had HG for the whole pregnancy and was on ondansetron...
I feel the same though can’t imagine not doing it again. Took us years to get ds3 though as I was sterilised with #4 and had to have ivf and reversal to have him. Many didn’t agree with that but I felt it was a mistake and we wanted another child.

Not sure how things will be in the future I’m 35 so just don’t know but I love having a large family despite it being very hard work. We have a lot going on so it would be a massive decision and I’m quite happy with what we have now so unsure whether I would actually have any more now, I feel like I’m done 95% but never say never

I also have 3, they are 6, 4 and 3 months. We always said we'd have '3 or 4' but if I'm honest, much as my hormones would like another, it would mean too many changes for us and the other children, so we will stop here. Three is a stretch but we can cope and totally worth it. Obviously a 4th would be loved but it would bee too much of a struggle financially and in terms of time for all children (no judgement on others, just for us personally). I'd love a 4th, though

*be!

I never felt 'done' at 2, but we still didn't plan to have a third, because DH did feel done and we were financially in a bit of a mess. We have ds3 because the Pill failed and I loved him from the moment I knew he was there. I definitely feel done now, and have done since before he was born. There are practical reasons- we are not in the same financial mess but we could not afford a fourth child, it would impact on my career in a way that I am not prepared to deal with, DS1 has needs which mean we are already stretched and stressed, I am coming up to 37 and found pregnancy at 33 to be so much harder than pregnancy in my 20s was that I don't think I could handle it again at an even greater age, etc- but the main one is that I feel our family is complete. The space in my heart that was always there before we had ds3 is now filled.

I have 3 aged 8, 5 and 3m. We're done. Not our choice, my body can't take another pregnancy and I'm looking down the barrel of a hysterectomy at 30 ☹ although I know I should be done, the choice is being taken away and I'm heartbroken! When I got pregnant this time last year it was definitely the last. Now I'd have another if I could!

I’ve had 5 sections so that’s a big factor for us. I was lucky with this last one but that was a gamble not sure I’d be so lucky again

A mother (of two) once said to me that she thought it natural to always want ‘one more’ for so long as one is capable of producing children.

I think this may be true for me. I just had our fourth child a couple of weeks ago and was wondering whether I would get that ‘done’ feeling. Still waiting, and in fact contemplating what a fifth would be like My oldest is 6, they are all essentially 2 years apart. I also loved giving birth and get a big post birth endorphin rush. I love the planning and preparing for a baby part too.

I just feel so lucky and privileged to have the children we have but wonder whether I will feel like ‘one more’ in a few months when things are harder.

Maybe you never feel done - but as someone wisely said above you have to make a sensible and considered decision based on the impact to your existing family and home life.

ladybirdsaredotty I'm the same as you, I have 3 dc, aged 6, 4 and a baby. Shortly after having dc3 I was ridiculously broody? always wanted 4 and thought I would have 4, but it's such hard work I don't think I could cope with another. Even though it's a.lovely idea. Also I am pretty unhappy with the state of my body after three large babies and don't think I can go through pregnancy and birth again. It's a sad feeling but I need to move on to the next stage and enjoy my dc before they grow up too quickly while I'm immersed in baby stuff. Still feels very final though, I love having my babies.

We have 6. We've made the decision that we're done as we have 6 gorgeous, healthy children. We both work...it's busy but I think we do a good job. We could afford another & our house is big enough, etc...and as much as I'll never be 'done' in my heart, my head says that I think we have to be. One more world just stretch our time with the others too much. Like a PP said, you have to think beyond the lovely newborn stage & think about the children you already have...not to mention your health. It's never clean cut though. A tricky one!

• would, not world

After my 2nd i felt jealous of other pregnant women. After my 3rd i thought than god thats not me! Then i knew i was done !