Hi there. I had this done at the c-section delivery of my fourth child. My mother was dead against my decision but I felt sure - even if all my children were swept away at sea, I would not choose to deliver another child.
The surgeon advised that statistically, having my tubes clipped at delivery, is less reliable contraception than doing the same procedure at another time, because hormones pump up your Fallopian tubes and then they shrink down, and there is slightly less physical control. If I had had it done after the birth they would pump my abdomen with air and do keyhole surgery.
I went ahead with the procedure at the birth, and don’t regret it for me. I had conceived very easily indeed beforehand and would have accepted the ‘gift’, happily, of an accidental additional one afterwards. But luckily it worked.
I was married to a man I now see clearly as a selfish arse, wrapped in a nice suit and charming manner, and yet at the time I had accepted him saying he would never wear condoms nor ever have a vasectomy. He was after me all the time, and so contraception was up to me.
The surgeon tried to persuade me that a kind husband with four children should accept the less harmful, less instrusive, simple vasectomy when the family is complete. I loved my husband and knew I wouldn’t win the contraceptive argument with him, and so I happily agreed to add the extra surgery during my caesarean.
The father of my children didn’t enjoy the toddlers and was sleeping with girls at the office. I didn’t know. He left me for one of the women and then came back to me because of the children (it was probably because she wasn’t as great as he thought and he had few options). Then he left me for good and I said don’t you even dare try to come back! He left me for a bright and ambitious, pretty and young Eastern Bloc girl, who needed a UK visa. They married and although he promised me he would not have any more children, he did.
I don’t think he is a great dad to toddlers. It causes my teens great anguish that they have a half sibling they love, raised by a temperamental foreign step mum who is in a bad marriage with their selfish dad. He isn’t great with the teens but sees them more and goes out with them which is, I suspect, to get away from his new family!
My mum was right. If there’s something gritty needs doing, like permanent contraception, then the man should do it. We women carry so much burden that men often don’t understand. Just periods alone are such a disadvantage, never mind child birth and breast feeding. And besides, the snip is easier for the man.
You’ll have enough to cope with with the effort of the third child and recovering from a section. My third was the hardest recovery incidentally, feeling like I had been run over, but my fourth was easier.
Let your man have the snip!
PS - I am so happily 2nd time married to a wonderful man (who had the snip) that my first husband did me a favour in some ways.