Talk to me about middle child syndrome

[corrianderisthedevil]

I have three DC's all under 5. Just starting out in the chaos that is being a family of 5. Already, I can feel myself slipping into the stereotype of the middle child syndrome much as I try to fight it. My eldest is pushing all the boundaries and doing all the 'firsts' ie starting school, clubs, independent play dates etc. My youngest is only 6 months and therefore requires a fair bit of attention. And then there's the middle child, who quite happily plods along. How do I avoid middle child syndrome and what are the common pitfalls/mistakes I need to be aware of?

You're very early days by your post? When you've got time to turn around then try to carve out some time for each of your children that are 1:1 with each parent. That way each child feels that for that period of time they have the sole attention of the parent they are with. It doesn't have to be massive amounts of time (but try not to make it obvious). For example you go to the park with the two youngest for 30-60 mins and oldest has that time with dad. Then when you get back home you do some crafting with DC2 for 30-60 mins whilst dad entertains DC1 and DC3 etc etc.

And plan some full family time, playing games, watching a film, building lego etc. It's a massive juggling act!

Thank you ginger yes still very early days so I'm keen not to fall into bad habits. A friend of mine recently told me that her Mother has some deep-rooted issues that were caused by being a middle child and told me to be careful. Now I'm a tad paranoid. We do try and spend equal amounts of time with all 3 individually and then all together. Plus older two/younger two (any any other combination) and you're right, it really is a juggling act.

I think the main reason it's worrying me at the moment is that my eldest seems to get to do most fun stuff - camping trips with dad, panto tickets this year with his gran etc etc while the middle child just isnt old enough yet so it feels like he's getting left behind a lot. I'm sure I'll feel better once he's a little older and able to do more. For now, I'll have to shower him with park trips and craft afternoons. All he really wants to do is watch peppa pig though.

Thank you for your advice.

Mine are 4, 3 and 2. The middle one is pushed out by the other two a lot! #4 is due in 2 weeks though and she adores babies and will be fantastic with him so I think that is how middle child syndrome will be avoided. She is getting her own little buddy.

United good luck with #4 in a couple of weeks! You're a braver woman than me as that is definitely NOT an option for me to solve the middle child syndrome!

I've just had my third (2 weeks ago) and am also worried about this already. My other two are 5 and 3. The 5 year old is quite emotional and requires more physical affection and attention than most. Our middle one is pretty laid back and like yours just kind of plods about. Now we have the baby. Our middle one just gets in with stuff and is a lot more independent than the 5 year old. However because of that I don't want her almost being forgotten (not literally by you know what I mean). I thought I was done but thinking maybe 4 is the way to go 🤷‍♀️