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Original poster

Any mums of 3DC that returned to work? How did you do it?

32 replies

Mum8 · 23/12/2017 22:42

We are estimating our childcare costs if I returned to work and I will practically be bringing zero income due to childcare costs 😳
Are there any ladies of 3 DC that returned to work? How did you do it financially?
At present only 1 DC is at school, then 1 preschooler and a younger one...

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SilverdaleGlen · 23/12/2017 22:46

Me I went back when DD3 was 5mo, DD2 was 2 and D1 was 5. I'm now single.

I have a ok paid job (£38k it's increased since) and used a nursery. Tax credits helped with the costs but it's been a squeeze until DD3 got her 30hrs funded in September woohoo!

dramalamma · 23/12/2017 22:53

I’ve 4 and I work for myself with my dh so I do have some flexibility but it is a (more than!) full time job. We have an au pair/mothers help. We’ve just had two weeks between au pairs and it’s been a total nightmare! The only way to do it is to make sure you have good childcare.

Saladd0dger · 23/12/2017 22:57

Iv recently had to take up a evening supermarket job. I’m knackered buy the time I need to go to work 😑 there’s not much childcare in this town, nursery and childminders are full. Not that we could afford it

Original poster

Mum8 · 23/12/2017 22:59

SilverdaleGlen Thank you, glad to hear your situation improved and hope you are OK as a single mama and happy, the most important!
Don’t think I qualify for tax credits and thinking about everything not sure if going back is worth it though I would do like be to. But my salary will need to be higher... Childcare is so ridiculously expensive even with the 30 hours and a child in a state school...

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SagAloo · 23/12/2017 23:03

I went back full find a few weeks ago and have DC aged 6 mo, 6 and 8. I work very locally albeit in a professional (well paid role). DH is very senior and does a long commute to the city so he isn’t able to help on a day to day basis other than do household chores when he gets in.

I’ve got good wrap around care and the baby is in nursery. It will get harder at times but I’ve lowered my standards and expectations, encourage the older two to be more independent and always take the opportunity to exercise when I can when DH gets home. I find it clears my mind and helps me sleep better and is far more valuable than 30 minutes collapsed in front of the tv in an evening.

Original poster

Mum8 · 23/12/2017 23:03

dramalamma If you can share , of course I understand if not, what business did you start? And being self employed does it help support your family? That’s another option I considered but with 3 young children, I don’t know where to start...

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Josieannathe2nd · 23/12/2017 23:04

I have a Nanny. Same price for all 3 children, does holidays, inset days, piano lessons. I only work 2 days a week~ I cover my childcare costs and a little bit but I enjoy my job & its only 2 years till it will be more profitable!

Original poster

Mum8 · 23/12/2017 23:07

SagAloo You are very lucky working locally. That’s one of the issues in my case and that my manager always wanted me to work late. Maybe I need to find something locally in this case ... although my job is well paid in a way, it still does not sum up though... that could ensure though I don’t have to pay breakfast club at least and that’s something...everything adds up.

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Lovelilies · 23/12/2017 23:09

I have 3 and am on my own. Eldest doesn't need 'childcare' but 3 yo gets 39 hours, and I pay for youngest nursery. I work 16 hours a week to maximise tax credits/salary. I'd be much worse off if I worked more.

Original poster

Mum8 · 23/12/2017 23:09

Josieannathe2nd Where did you find the nanny? We thought about it but heard that you have to pay maternity and sick days off too and we were a bit skeptical about that... If you don’t mind sharing, how much is her fee roughly?

OP posts:

Lovelilies · 23/12/2017 23:10

*30 hours, not 39

BackforGood · 23/12/2017 23:13

I've always worked, and have 3dc. Went down to 3 days after dc2 as the 60hour weeks were killing me. We were really brasic as dh was studying at the time. We just did without luxuries and dh worked about 3 evenings a week in a bar on top of all the hours he was out studying. It was hard going, but it is a temporary stage and you hold on to that fact, knowing it will all ease up in a couple of years.

SagAloo · 23/12/2017 23:17

Yes I know I am but equally I spent 5 yrs commuting an hour each way with DC so l like to see it as my reward for persevering with that!

Lovelilies if I can ask - what do you do the other 14 hrs your DC is in nursery for free 30 hours if you are only working 16? I thought the whole point of the 30 hours was so parents actually worked more than minimum hours!

Lovelilies · 23/12/2017 23:21

It's only 30 hours term time Sag, so spread across the whole year it doesn't actually cover the 51 weeks I have to pay for. Plus he does a couple of mornings at a forest school/playgroup.

SilverdaleGlen · 23/12/2017 23:50

It is very hard and I have a lot of family support as the hours are long.

I would say if you have a "career" then going back, even if you don't make much is worth it in the long run as your salary will increase as you get promoted, and you won't lose your career by having to step out for the years until DC are in full time education. And even then it's difficult as school hours don't match with work hours until they are old enough to get themselves there and back.

If I was working a job that wouldn't be affected by dropping out while they were little then my decision may have been different (not that I had the SAHM option when he walked!).

G1ggleloop · 23/12/2017 23:55

I went back to a job share until my youngest was in school then returned full time. We're lucky because we both work shift so can work when the other one is off. Now we try to overlap a bit more. One of us starts after the kids start school and the other is home before pick up. Not great but much cheaper than paying three lots of childcare

Original poster

Mum8 · 24/12/2017 12:25

Oh wow ladies, it does not seem easy. If I did return it will have to be part time 😞 so I have to ask first... I also worked full time despite having 2 DC at nursery before but now I kind of enjoyed bonding with them and knowing what DC1 has been doing at school and actually being able to help her out with her learning. We have no friends/ family that can help so we are on our own which makes things difficult as DH has a new job with a long commute
My manager is also not flexible unlike my previous boss so I’m dreading how I will have to stand up for myself to attend to my sick baby which I expect will happen with DC3 as it did with the others a lot... So now I’m dreading that too and going back for zero money or how will I make it work ...
That being said I do miss interaction with other adults ...

OP posts:

medicalmumof4 · 24/12/2017 19:25

I have 4 and both my husband and I work part time so one of us is always at home with the children. We have 2 at school, 1 at preschool and our youngest is 16 months.

Lillylollylandy · 24/12/2017 19:38

I’ve got 3 DC. 6, 3 and 11 Months. I’ve always worked full time when not on maternity. DD1 is at school, DS is at nursery and DD2 goes to a childminder. It’s expensive but it saves me money in the long run because I’m keeping a career and pension going. I’m bloody knackered tho!

Woodenhillmum · 26/12/2017 19:33

I went back part time when my eldest was three and the triplets had just turned one .I was very lucky that family members looked after them for 2 days a week initially .

euanthesheepiloveyou · 27/12/2017 00:50

I'll be going back to work soon. I'll have 4 in primary school & 2 in full time nursery. I don't know how we'll do it to be honest but it's just going to have to work somehow!

Afreshnewyearplease · 31/12/2017 07:30

I manged with 3 just about. But after 6 months working with 4 i had to give up as just not worth it with regards money or stress!

Adviceplease360 · 31/12/2017 07:40

Opposite shifts was how we made it work.

Millybingbong · 31/12/2017 07:45

A nanny. Who has been off sick one day in five years.

She is brilliant. She also puts them to bed if required.
I am a relatively high earners 2.5 days a week

1981trouble · 31/12/2017 07:56

I work flexi so I do 3.5 days over 4 and am able to have minimal after school club needs and fits with preschool hours too, I use childminder instead of nursery so I can pay hourly (£80 a week for 4 days 9-4 instead of £200 a week for 4 days nursery 7.30-6 which wasn't used).

When I'm working late or early, my Dh generally is able to do the pick ups or we pay for the extra hours.

I don't know what your industry is but offering flexi has lots of benefits - it means you are at your desk more days through the week so less down days where you can't respond to things.

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