So my absconding father has appeared in my life, after 30 years of the most impressive disappearing act I have ever seen.
The issue for me is that he left me with a crack head mother. She never had anymore children, so when I was taken of her and thrown head first into foster care, I had no one.
Him and I have had one conversation on facebook, and he acknowledges me as his daughter, and has gone far to say i am a part of his 8 other children. Its a bit much for me to take in. Ive gone 30 years through hell and back on my own, and now im some what settled he wants to appear in my life as the doting dad.
The reason why i am posting is because i would love your opinion on wether or not i should be mad at him. Through my life, all i ever wanted was him....
I was taken away from my mother between ages 4-6, and i went through 5 foster homes, and was raped, starved and beaten in all homes except one. The social workers knew of the abuse because the bruises were evident. I had bite marks on my inner thighs for weeks. Yes, at 6 years old. But they could not remove me because i am mixed race and they had a shortage of ethnic families. I stayed in each abusive home for a at least a year. Once i left care at the tender age of 13 they dumped me back with "her". Because her priorities were the pipe, i was singled out and bullied by other teens really really badly. I had girls from my school AND boys from another local school at my doorstep regularly beating me up. They broke in once and attacked me in my own home. The crackhead was sleeping at the time and never woke up to help me. When she woke up she said that i had made my own bed and i must lie in it lol. I also turned to sex. At 14 i think i slept with more people then the average woman in her life. I had no guidance!! So when i was given my own place to live at 15, the problems got worse. I had a bad reputation and a target for attack on my head. I went through the next ten years being very antisocial, i never left my house, i never made any friends, i never got an education. Here i am at 30, i still have no friends except for my husband (he is my rock, very supportive) i dont have a sense of humour due to the years of isolation, my personality rubs people off the wrong way.
So thats a brief history of my life.... and my "dad" knows nothing of this. Do you think i should tell him? Should i be as angry at him as i WANT to be? I know if he had stuck around things wouldnt have been so bad. He has 8 other kids and he was a part of their lives!!
Im also second guessing because, what if he had his own problems, is it fair i should make him feel guilty? I dont know what to do!
(P.s, i dont think my mother was on drugs when they conceived, she turned to that afterwards, being a white woman with a racist family. They kicked her out for having a black baby. she was vulnerable, met a nasty abusive man, and started taking drugs)