Managing summer holidays by myself

[D886]

I have 3 dcs aged 8.5yo, 5yo and almost 1yo (medium sized, I know, not necessarily a large family).

My DH works long hours and I don't have any many friends ... I don't have any real support from anyone in the week. Term-time is fine as our days are usually structured but I'm finding the length of the 6w holidays a real challenge this year and with 2 more weeks left, I'm not really sure what to do. I can't take them swimming by myself at the moment, and the cinema is out of the window for the time being.

How do you plan your time with your kids in the holidays?

When I had that kind of gap (they are now between 5 and 10, I would go to museums, libraries and parks. The summer reading challenge usually keeps library visits in focus. Our library also runs play/craft sessions, and then a play in the park outside. If you're lucky to run into dc from school and get a bit of a chat with an adult.

Can you go home Cinema time when baby has a nap?
I live in London, so some of this is easier. Would it be helpful to do a day out, a day at home, a day out etc etc

All of those sound like really good ideas, especially cinema time at home. Thank-you 🙂

I just feel incredibly lonely at the moment, if I'm honest. My DH's job is demanding and goes through periods where he is out early and home late. I have a very close relative who is in the process of moving abroad and I am dealing with those feelings. I was having a think yesterday and realised that I don't have any actual friends anymore. This is partly my fault as I've chosen to spend time with family over friends; I've been very let down by friends in the past and there has been a rift in my extended family which has left emotional scars ... I need to open up to people more, I suppose.

It can be pretty tricky. I also don't have many friends, and all my family live abroad. Having 4 dc makes me an anomaly, we don't really get invited to others houses in a regular basis. It's ok, but I do miss a true friend. I've got lots of acquaintances, but no one I can really rely on. Having on dc with ASD and another whose in the process of assessment has really brought that to the fore.

I can get by with just acquaintances though ... I think....

Do you live near national trust sites? Can you afford to join? I have a one adult and children family membership and have found it amazing this summer. I also have three children (9, 7 and young baby) and my husband works long hours. It's great to get them to run themselves tired in the gardens. The staff are also lovely to have a chat to for some adult conversation on those long days alone!
Other than that parks, gardens, garden centres, summer events (maize maze etc) anything outside I have found entertains them and it's always easier to get out the house to run around.
Sorry to hear your family member is leaving. Loneliness is such a horrible thing. I'm making building friendship however I can my priority this year. I have also recently found mine to be few now I'm on mat leave with lots of time on my hands.
Wish you all the best with the rest of summer!

Hi mine are 7 5 3 and baby.

I recommend loads of parks, don't keep going to same one. This followed by a walk or kick around with a ball tires them out and I feel great for being in the fresh air too. Afternoon then are spend in the library, walking to the shops, local museum type activity.

Re friendships I am very much on my own. I find the kids take up so much of my time and energy I can't really be bothered with friendships at the moment. I think this puts people off too as no one really talks to me as try see how busy I am. For now I have my family and that's enough I have my brother and sister who I'm very close too and my mum helps me a bit too.

I wil make more timw for friendships when I have a bit more time. I do have acquaintances I chat to a bit but nothing more. It's ok to feel lonley at times. Is there a local club you could join to make friends? Perhaps an evening group you can go to without kids?

Thank-you everyone for your lovely messages and ideas on how to spend our time x I do have National Trust membership and will try and make the most of that.

It's just so weird to feel this lonely; as I haven't felt it before, I didn't expect to feel it this time with dc3. My auntie leaving is going to be really hard. They go in 2 weeks - days before our dd's 1st birthday. She's like a mum to me and I have had so much support from her for all of my life, the change is going to be painful and hard. But I too need to make socialising (if not friendships exactly, as under normal circumstances my time too, is tight) a priority.

I always get such good support on this board. Thank-you all so much again

Sorry to hear you're feeling lonely, OP. As much as we love & enjoy our kids, it's hard when you're with them 24/7 with little adult company. My husband works pretty long hours & so far hasn't been able to take any time off this summer. I'm a teacher so am used to being with them all summer but even with that, the thought of keeping them all happy & busy all summer can be daunting. I've 6 (ages are 9, 8, 6, 4, 2 & a 3 month old) & at the start of the hols I honestly didn't know how I was going to juggle it all!! Especially as I am b/feeding the baby - very time consuming even though it's so handy! Anyway, even though we're in Ireland & it has rained pretty much constantly for all of August, I find that the best thing is wellies on & out we go! Parks, welly walks, we're close to the beach so have done that a few times, soft play on the really wet days...but my saviour is play dates. I don't have a huge social circle & to be honest, the people who want 6 kids under 10 descending on their house are few & far between!! But a couple of good friends, their kids & my tribe all get together at least once a week. I think you should try to focus on opening up & making a few friends. We mums need like minded pals for some light relief!! Without that it can be hard & lonely. I feel for you & hope you find your groove again soon. Once school starts get yourself to some thing just for YOU. But for the last week of the hols, get out to the park or for walks with the kids & enjoy a bit of fresh air. Things look a lot brighter when you get out & about.

I've felt similiar this holidays. Dh has been working away most of it and I've found it hard to juggle the appropriate days out or activities for ages 9, 7, 6 and 7 month baby as stuff like cinema doesn't work well with a crawling baby. I'm not keen on driving too far either which doesn't help. A lot of the plans I had fell through like visiting parents for a week - their house move is taking ages so they didn't get moved in time I couldn't go. Plans with friends kids got ill and I had to cancel, other stuff got rained off, then I've been busy and not got round to rearranging with people. I think some have gone away on holiday themselves now anyway, so I get you on the lonely thing too. I am looking forward to the term time routine again really, and hopefully next summer I'll get the time better organised