Suddenly discovered I don't have any friends left

[Janetme]

I have 3 kids who naturally are my everything but I just come to the realisation that I am so consumed with them I don't have any real friends left, I have mum friends who I know because our kids are friends, work friends have died off since Becoming a stay at home mum 3 years ago but I don't have anyone not related to me who I can call on for a natter, a girls night or confide my secrets and fears too.

I'm not good at putting myself out there and think people find me weird because I'm socially awkward before I get to know people but I feel desperately lonely. Any advice please???

Your mum friends prob feel the same. Arrange an evening with some of them.

Do they go to school yet? I found I made lots of lovely friends when they started school and you would be surprised as to how much everyone else feels the same. Go for a coffee with them and you ll soon realise who you naturally click with and they will be keepers xx

Could any of your Mum friends turn into good friends? I don't buy the whole, 'gah, I'm not making friends with school Mum's because all we have in common is our kids'. 10 years after having kids most of my best friends have started out as 'Mum friends' in some capacity or other. I still keep in touch with a few pre DC friends but tbh most of those friendships have tailed off to some extent becasue they just don't really 'get it'...and once you have 3 or 4 DC's there is a lot more to 'get' iyswim.

I'm the same 4dc and no friends. Mine evaporated once my youngest dc - twins, now 6, were born. Motherhood can be lonely. Hope things get better for you - sounds like good advice above.

No advice to give, sorry. I've realised that I'm in exactly the same position as you describe, OP. I have 3 dcs aged 8.5yo, 5yo and almost 1yo.

I just feel incredibly lonely at the moment, if I'm honest. My DH's job is demanding and goes through periods where he is out early and home late. I have a very close relative who is in the process of moving abroad and I am dealing with those feelings. I was having a think yesterday, prompted by this thread, and realised that I don't have any actual friends anymore. This is partly my fault as I've chosen to spend time with family over friends; I've been very let down by friends in the past which has left a mark and there has been a rift in my extended family which has left big emotional scars ... I need to open up to people more, I suppose. I can't complain about feeling crushingly lonely, but then dash past people at the school gates. Let's face it: this is the only place where I'm going to form new friendships at this point in my life.

I lost most of my friends after a traumatic event (I pushed them all away) and now I'm a similar position. I have a bunch of Mum friends who I do stuff with ds with but no one else and we only do things with the children. I really struggle in social situations because I don't like myself so why would anyone else. If people talk to me, I'll talk back but the whole time I'm second guessing myself, "am I oversharing, undersharing, replying correctly, do they think I'm nuts". I feel lonely but am too scared of rejection/them seeing me how I see myself to feel I can try.

Four DC similar situation. I don't have time for friends it seems!