First post! Four under four

[Couldawouldashoulda4]

As the title says this is my first post so I apologise if I get any words wrong.
I have 2 DS's aged 3 and 2 and one DD who's 5 months old. Currently expecting another little one in December! Any advice having four under four?
I'm terrified of people knowing more than anything, when I announced my last pregnancy it was met with groans of "again?!". My DH and I planned all of our children as we both desire a large family, I'm 23 and people judge terribly assuming I am not married and on benefits.
I have been married since I was 19, we own our own home and DH works to provide for us. I am and will continue to be a SAHM as I'm planning on homeschooling.
Just thought I'd introduce myself properly and see if anyone could relate! :)

Hi OP. I have had very similar experience. When I had my 4th my eldest was only just 4. It was honestly my easiest step up because I think by then you are much more laid back about things (if not you need to become so, quickly!). The joy of having DC's so close in age is that they are great playmates and that you all troop around together enjoying the same days out. When I was out and about with 4 I had a double buggy (not side by side) and then the two eldest holding on either side which I was really strict about. Make sure bed time is regimented. We never brought them up thinking everyone gets equal, sometimes one may have/do something that the others don't but it all evens out in the end (saves endless arguing). Unfortunately I can't help with home ed as I packed all mine off to school.
As for the judgemental comments I can really really sympathise- people feel they have a right to be downright rude if you have any more than 3 (4 is when people visibly start counting as you walk past). I used to be so self conscious and not want to tell anyone but after years and years ( and even more DC's) I decided I really don't care and will quite happily say how many I have, go through their ages, tell them yes they do have the same dad, yes we do have a tele, inform them that no I don't work, say that no we don't in fact get any child benefits at all, thank them for saying I don't look fat enough to have had so many babies (I didn't eat them or anything wtf do they even mean) and smile appreciatively when they wonder how I cope.
I think the worst I can remember when I had 4 or maybe after my 5th, I passed a women who visibly counted my children and said to her friend "what kind of a person has that many children". It will happen, it will make you angry and you won't ever think of a good response until about half an hour later but you are the one that in the future they will all see as the lucky one. It is hard but makes for hilarious anecdotes when you get through it.

Sorry shoulda4 I forgot to say huge congratulations

I had four under 4.5.

I quickly became very organised!

Thankyou for your fab replies!
So nice hearing im not the only one who receives negative feedback from strangers. Think it doesn't help I have a young face and still get ID'd when buying paracetamol lol yes I try to be organised getting better at it as time goes on, always in bed on time meals etc, how many do you have alltogether?

I would not judge, am basically in awe of people who even contemplate this. Personally I find two pretty tricky, would love more but not sure I am up to it. So well done you and enjoy your children. (Sorry not helpful!)

I stopped after 4. They are now aged between 12.5 and 17. Try not to worry too much about what random strangers think; they don't even know you.

Congratulations!

have 6 DC aged 16, 14, 10, 7, 5, 5. The first 4 were planned, the twins more of an accident. I love having a big family. I agree that 4 is definitely when you see people start to take notice, count etc. Comments-wise, I think you just have to ignore or try and make a joke of it.

When my youngest was born, I had 3 under 2, so 4 under 6. Yes it is chaotic and yes it is tiring but there are so many moments too which make it fun or funny or rewarding.

TBH I don't think the jump up from 3 to 4 was that difficult compared to the other jumps

You're gonna have to start planning everything like food, taking here and there, etc and it will still feel a bit like mayhem half the time, but you just get on with it.

When people say they couldn't cope I usually think 'yes you could' You just cope with the circumstances that are thrown at you. When I only had 2 kids I found it just as difficult and would've probably been amazed at someone with 6 kids too but when it happens to you just get on with it.

But don't be afraid to ask for help, babysitting, etc if/when you need it.

Sorry I don't have any experience of homeschooling, but I'm sure you can find people here who do if you want advice on that

Contraceptive advice!

Congratulations.
Get used to the comments.
(Remember the answer to 'Don't you have a TV?
Is
'If you think TV is better than sex then you are doing it wrong!')

My 4 are (slightly) more spaced out, but I think the key points are

1. go with the flow
2. realise that for the next few years you are 'doing' kids. There'll be time to focus on other things when they are older.
3. the house needs to work for the whole family, and currently that's more toddlers than adults. Accept that they will take over and make it work for you all.

Home education is great. (And it will stop you having to do the school run with 3 tinies). Find you local groups through Facebook search bar.

Enjoy the ride.