Hello. I have 4 lovely children, the oldest is 9 and the youngest 2.5. I will be 41 next month and we have been trying for number 5 for a year. We had one early miscarriage in November. Since then I have really been seesawing on what to do.
I felt so sad about the miscarriage (my first - I know I have been SO lucky!) that my first reaction was to try again asap and "fix" the problem.
But I am also really scared of things going wrong. What if I had an even later miscarriage, or worse? What if the new little one had special needs that meant our other 4 children don't get the attention they enjoy now?
I have read quite a few threads on here and seen that quite a lot of you feel worried about "pushing your luck", which is my worry exactly. I never worried like this with the other 4, but my age obviously doesn't help the risk assessment!
Finances, car, house size, etc, are all considerations but I can get past those. For me, it's entirely about whether the baby and I would be healthy. If someone could hand me a crystal ball and say it would all be fine, then I would go for it with no other concerns!
Does anyone have any advice? I suffer quite badly with health anxiety so I don't know if the worries I have because I am too risk averse in that area, or if any sensible person might have the same fears!
The flip side is that I am not getting any younger, so it's now or never. What if my fears get in the way now and I regret it when it's too late to TTC again?!?! Aargh!!!!!!!!!!!! This decision is impossible!