Calling all mummies of 4 or more children...

[Skookiemomster]

Okay so I have 3 children at present, 3 boys aged 7,4 and 2.
And I feel very very very broody. So broody my heart aches and my womb hurts. My partner has agreed to trying for baby number 4. As soon as he agreed, suddenly I had all these doubts. Could I manage with four? Is it much harder? I'm so so so close to getting "my" life back and now I want another baby to fill my days with. My partner works long hours, sometimes away for days at a time, and I'm currently doing a degree in criminal psychology with the aim to go into the police force but behind the scenes. I've started going back to the gym and trying to be "me" again instead of just mummy .But this urge just will not shift. I'm confused. Like this post probably doesn't even make sense. I have a life plan ahead of me and another baby would put those back a few years again but I just don't feel complete yet and it's an awful feeling. You would think 3 boys would be enough, and they are, I love them all to pieces but I just don't feel complete or that my family feels complete yet if that makes sense?

So...calling all families with more than 3 children..what's it like truthfully??? Chaos in a good or bad way? Does the new baby just fall into the routine? Do you ever truly feel complete?

I have 4 ( ds17, ds15, ds13 and dd 11) and life is very stressful and hectic. It is getting easier as they get older and more independent, but there is just so much to do in the way of household stuff , shopping, cooking, parents evenings/ careers days etc etc, it is just like I'm on a treadmill I just never stop. I work part time doing shift work and am permanently exhausted but if I gave up work we would struggle significantly to provide the kids with what they need so i just feel trapped and exhausted all the time. I can't say I wish I'd stopped at 2 or 3 as they are all adorable and are not bad kids in any way but the exhaustion is relentless especially as I am almost 50 !

The gender preference thing - we have gbgb. I did have a slight preference for dc4 to be a boy but wouldn't have been upset at a girl if that makes sense? We found out very early as he had genetic testing (CVS), not that it made any difference to anything!

Interesting that the 3-4 jump seems to be the toughest. Although dc4 was tough, I think 1-2 was my hardest jump and 3 was the magic number!

With four children, in our experience, it's 70% hard graft and 30% pure joy.

I'm frequently so overwhelmed with the practical jobs that I fantasise about hospital bed rest.

The gender preference question...yes. We had B,g,b and I really wanted another girl to complete the family. Got pregnant and then lost a healthy baby in the second trimester due to a botched amnio ( my first ever MN post)...and it was a girl. Conceived again and spent a lot of the first 20 weeks worrying about how I would feel if this one was a boy as I knew deep down I would feel cheated. Luckily she's all girl felt terrible for thinking like that but couldn't help it. Now have b,g,b,g and my family is complete.

Allthat me and my friend often joke we would like an overnight stay in hospital- obviously nothing serious but 24hrs on bedrest would be amazing!!

great thread; thanks to everyone for their contributions. i have 3 DCs (5, 3, 16mths) and DH wants a 4th. I've never felt broody or a desperate need for a baby, maybe because we conceived very quickly. i never had the experience of getting your period when you're hoping to be pregnant...

so my question is: how do you know when you're done?

I thought i should make my decision on the basis of rational factors but then realised that there's no rational reason for having children (unless you're into child labour and trying create your own workforce)

I have 6 and found the leap from 2-3 the hardest, it floored me. 4 and 5 wasn't nearly as hard for me afte that 2-3 leap. 6 has been difficult, especially now the older 2 are at secondary school. The older 2 are very good with the littlest 2 but the battles between the middle 2 and the others both sides are epic.
It's hard work but I couldn't imagine going back down to 3 - I would be able to hear my own thoughts. 😂

Angstybaby. . . I don't know when you know you're done. I would have more but I'm 42 now so too old but still feel as broody as I ever did. My friends often say they had baby number #whatever and just knew that was their last. So I don't know and I'll always be very grateful for the four I have but also sad for those I feel I still want

Am 36 weeks pregnant with #6. DC's are 13, 12, 9, 6 and 3. It is busy, but somehow works. The DC are homebodies and our eldest is only just starting to venture out with friends at the weekend. Clubs are attached to school, so there isn't a lot of running around at the moment. We've been lucky enough to buy a 6 bed house, which has been a godsend. Enough space for everyone to stretch out and hide from each other helps keep the peace!

I found the hardest transition was from 1-2, but they are only 18months apart and I has an emcs with #2, along with ppd so that was tough.

I'm sure the chaos will be magnified by 100 in the beginning once baby comes, but in my experience things settle into a new normal and it all just works. I wouldn't know what to do with myself without so many of them! :)

We are definitely done. I have had a good pregnancy, but it is still hard on us all when I'm not able to function for 10+ months in a row. We might both pursue surgical sterilisation, since we don't want to risk another BC failure haha.

Hi!
I'm 37 and in the very early days of growing baby number 6! My eldest is 20, youngest 5.
We love it! It's hard work sometimes but I have decent age gaps between most of them and 2 are now adults and at uni so don't need me quite so much.
It's always busy but there's always someone to play with or hug, and I'm just addicted to watching them grow up and become lovely little people.
I have a lovely mum who I couldn't cope without as I work part time, I'm not sure that I'd manage my job without her as my husband has a very demanding job and mine can be pretty full on too.
I finished my degree when my 5th child was 18 months. It was bloody difficult and I had taken a couple of years out but I'm so proud that I did it.