Does having a 3rd lose the babysitters?

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At the minute I have 2 and grandparents/aunties will happily babysit. But I have 4 nephews and I never want to babysit them all at the same time (I have on occasion and it's a bit overwhelming when they aren't your own).

Did people stop wanting to help out when you went from 2-3?

Yes!!! If we want overnight baby sitting now we split them up. It's manageable though 😃

Yep

Not really from 2-3, the tipping point for use was 3-4. What works now is grandparents taking 1 or 2 children at a time which still does help or friends (who also have 4) helping or doing babysitting swaps. We also have a babysitter come along for evenings, by the time she arrives there are only 2 DC's still up.

Yes, once I got to 3 the offers were over. Now I'm on 4 and we will definitely have to split them up.

I am lucky! My oldest is 27 so she babysits the youngest 4 if we go out or away for the week end!! (11altogether!)

2 lost us the babysitters.
When we just had the 1, both our parents' used to be rowing over who could have her
Since no. 2 came along, they've been minded once by each set of grandparents.
Since 3rd came along, only once. (My mum) I just know not to ask

Yes!!!

Yes. ironically, because you need them more.

Luckily, the inlaws still have all three. My parents can't/don't. We are thinking of a fourth though, and I know that we can probably wave goodbye to the occasional night away that we have now.

The two older ones tend to still go to grandparents and we have the 1 year old but I think it's mainly due to his hideous clinging!! They babysat him for an afternoon and he was so awful they don't want to try again

They only go a couple of times a year for a night, no other babysitting

Yes. People assume that you're a parenting expert by when you get to 3. Or they think 'you've made your bed so should lie in it'. Or they can't cope with larger numbers of kids.

So offers of help of all kinds dry up. After the birth we had no help at all. After dc1 we were overwhelmed with help but didn't need it as much. Not complaining, it's just how it is.

Yes. We don't have much family help anyway but any we had did almost disappear with no. 3. People are still happy to take the 2 oldest ( both girls). But throw the 3rd in there (boy) and people make excuses. We just don't have any options for a night away anymore and any evenings out are generally paid for sitters. Though a couple of friends who also have 3 do offer as they know what its like, we rarely take them up on it as 6 kids to deal with at bedtime is just too much!

Not for us, luckily.

My parents are still happy to have all four in the holidays (they live abroad), my inlays never helped anyway, our babysitter was still happy to babysit all four and the nanny has all four.

They are reasonably well behaved though, not sure if that is a factor!!

Ps really well behaved for others, less so for us lol 😁

Yes. And when we went to 4, we lost paid babysitters too. To be fair, they did tend to go all Nanny McFee ish whenever we got a new one

The trick is to have dc by different dads, that helps as when ones with his dad I've only got 2 to find a babysitter for and as an added bonus I get on with exs mum (exMIL) so she helps too with all of them

Island That's what I do, my 2 have different dads and I'm with DC2's dad so DC1 is away at the weekend and it's easier to get a sitter, still think Dmil might not fancy babysitting another and it's one of the main things stopping us trying at the min We rarely get a sitter for DC2 now so I can kiss goodbye to any break of any sort

Yeah dc2 has same dad as dc3 and we didn't ttc till she was four for that reason. prior to dc3 being born we had child free holidays to Sicily, mini breaks to London, spa weekends, went to Los Angeles and New York on holiday as well. No chance now.... How I miss those days