Threads

See more results

Topics

Usernames

Mumsnet Logo
Please
or
to access all these features

Do your dc do activities?
21

hoolaloola · 28/08/2015 22:16

Our dc are 10,7,5 and 2. They all do some activities. The eldest has recently started something which he appears to be good at and has therefore been "noticed". Being noticed means attending extra classes which are really expensive. It has never been a huge problem before but it is getting to be a challenge and we are going to have to start saying no. However I am filled with guilt. I want to give them all the same opportunities but how on earth do I prioritise. There are things which they would happily give up (swimming and piano) but these are the things I really want them to do. The activities that cost the most are the ones that they love the most. It's so bloody complicated!
What do your dc do and how do you manage expectations etc?

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

NotSoDesperateHousewife · 28/08/2015 22:23

Our eldest two do, the youngest don't yet. Eldest both do the relevant aged scouting, karate and DS1 also has an ASD youth group. They just do what they do, if they wanted to do something else they'd have to ditch the karate first. Scouting is non-negotiable for me, and it's a pittance in cost.

Please
or
to access all these features

Lightbulbon · 29/08/2015 09:31

I'd like to know how larger families/ families with big age gaps manage activities too.

We have a newborn and I don't know atm how I'm going to do all the running around in the evenings when the tiny one will need feeds & put to bed?!

Please
or
to access all these features

onlyoranges · 29/08/2015 11:42

I know what you mean. One of my dcs has a very expensive hobby which I could spend more on if we had less dcs and there is also the issue of the others noticing one is getting much more than they are!

In terms of transporting I used to just drag my younger ones round with me until the eldest was old enough to look after the little ones at home. At first it seems really hard and complicated but honestly it does get alot easier the more you do it.

Please
or
to access all these features

ffffffedup · 30/08/2015 04:30

Let them do whatever they are good at not what you 'want' them to do. Swimming lessons are important but I'd say only until they can swim confidently then really there's no need. If your eldest is good at something he loves then encourage that instead of making him endure piano lessons because that's what you want not him

Please
or
to access all these features

ffffffedup · 30/08/2015 04:35

Should add my eldest does football he is quite good and plays for an academy team it can be quite hectic when the season is on. Ds2 has tried lots of different things but he's not interested in any of them he's happy not to do any activities at the moment. Dc3 is still a baby so not doing anything yet

Please
or
to access all these features

notaprincessbutaqueen · 02/09/2015 18:22

my dc's can do brownies/guides/beavers/scouts etc and one other paid activity. and then anything that's free at school. Dd took up everything at school, ds1 wont do anything :( really wish he would pick up a bit more after school activities but i wont force him.
swimming lessons well we teach them ourselves when young and then they have lessons at school in ks2. If money was no object I would love them to have piano lessons but I really cant see them using that skill as they get older. how many adults do you know who sit down and play, or even own a piano without dc's? I'd rather spend my money on nurturing their own interests and talents x

Please
or
to access all these features

loveandsmiles · 04/09/2015 16:49

I've just had DC6. DC1 and 2 swim for a club and are at the pool every week night. Because we are there so often DCs 3 and 4 have now joined the club but they only swim one night at the moment. DC5 is a toddler and goes to a toddler gymnastic class and baby just gets taken everywhere! DC2 is a member of a football team as is DC3 and they play at weekends.

I think it's good for them to keep fit and to meet people outside of their school. Also, the oldest is 13 and as she is at the swimming club on weeknights I think it stops her being bored and hanging around street corners.

It is expensive though and time consuming!

Please
or
to access all these features

Lightbulbon · 04/09/2015 17:08

Loveabdsmiles

Congrats on dc6

How do you work the logistics of a newborn who needs fed at the same time as you need to drive older DCs to/from activities?

What about bedtimes? Do all the DCs stay up til 8.30 or whenever the last one gets in from whatever activity they are doing?

I've had to switch DC from weekday eve activities to weekend ones as I can't see how it's doable atm.

Please
or
to access all these features

loveandsmiles · 05/09/2015 08:41

lightbulb - thank you
I think the more DC you have the more chilled you become. I bf so can feed the baby anytime/anywhere! Try to feed before we go out so she is settled. The older 2 are usually just dropped off at their swimming then collected later which is easier. I do drop offs and DH does pick ups as he is home from work by then (usually).

Harder when we have to stay at an activity and toddler comes too - very hard to keep her occupied and she is tired at that time of night. Always seems worse in winter when dark and cold.

If DH is home and picks older 2 up from activities it's great as I can get little ones to bed but if he's not home I do baths and pjs then just have to bundle them out in the car with me.

Football at weekends no problem - that is DHs job!!

Please
or
to access all these features

TheSecondOfHerName · 05/09/2015 08:49

We set a weekly budget for each child and limited each to five activities (so up to twenty a week in total). Swimming lessons for each, plus Beavers/Cubs/Rainbows/Brownies, musical instrument lesson from about age 7, etc.

This was busy and hectic for a while but not as bad as it sounds, as some of the activities were in school lunchtimes and some had more than one of our children attending.

Once they get to secondary school, lots of activities are free and they can get themselves home, so it's much easier now.

Please
or
to access all these features

YeOldeTrout · 05/09/2015 09:04

Is it possible to do the eldest's activity more cheaply, 2nd hand equipment, sharing lifts or coaching fees, going once a month less, Cheaper version of same activity, sponsors to help with club costs or fundraising you can do? Example, Here you join the town footie side it costs a pittance per week and sponsors buy kit for the kids. But if you go to the premier league Academy, it's ££££££, plus travel 35 miles each training session and constant merchandising.

DC2 is a joiner, did 8-10 activities/week at one point. Younger DC lugged along, eldest left at home (age 8+). Other DC do fewer clubs, but eventually the spending catches up you may find. What I used to spend on club subs and fees for DC2 was later matched by transport & uniform costs for DC1 (Scouts & ATC at venue 9 miles away).

Piano lessons are an expensive thing to force onto your children. Confused
Most people stop swim lessons when their DC reach the "Won't drown" stage.

Money isn't tight but our time can get quite stretched. I said no to things that were totally impractical (Rainbows).

Please
or
to access all these features

onlyoranges · 05/09/2015 17:18

Wow The Second 5 activities per child. How many do you have? Are those after school clubs or you pick up and run them all around. Our budget just could not stretch to that. Some of mine are real joiners and others are not and prefer to be home spending time with friends who live round and about. So ours balances out. You are going to say you have 5 dcs aren't you and I am going to be in total awe of your energy levels!!

Please
or
to access all these features

TheSecondOfHerName · 06/09/2015 08:48

No, only 4!

Some of the activities were free, which made it financially possible.

Some of the activities were in school lunchtimes, which made it logistically possible.

Please
or
to access all these features

onlyoranges · 06/09/2015 13:23

Oh I see TheSecond! I was about to feel incredibly inadequate. I had visions of you living out of your car with all that ferrying dcs around.

Although even 4 that's 20 clubs. Wow! Any tips on organisational strategies, always keen to pick up tips from others!

Please
or
to access all these features

shutupanddance · 06/09/2015 13:37

I have 4 from 13-2. The oldest does tumble and cheer, 10 year old does football and drama, 6 year old does swimming and gym and toddler goes to nursery, did try toddler footie but its a bit of a waste of money as he wasn't interested.

Please
or
to access all these features

shutupanddance · 06/09/2015 13:38

Toddler will be starting swimming at 3 when I don't need to get in with him and 2 dds get tutored as well.

Please
or
to access all these features

shutupanddance · 06/09/2015 13:40

Our rule is a maximum of 2 activities a week unless they are free and convient ie at lunchtime. I think learning to say no especially at teen/pre-teen stage is important.

Please
or
to access all these features

Tsotofamily · 06/09/2015 15:59

I have 3dcs
Dd1- horse riding once a fortnight, she's just given up brownies as she started to find it boring and in all fairness to her all they did was colour and eat! She's just starting flute lessons at school and is interested in doing martial arts will take her to the raster session then see what happens
ds - football and beavers
dd2 - going to a taster session at ballet so will again see what happens

Dd1 &ds will probably do after school clubs when they start if there's anything that interests them. They also both do cricket april-July

Did do swimming lessons but cost a fortune for the 3 so I take them on a weekend manage to teach them and have fun at same time. We also enjoy roller skating on a sat afternoon

Please
or
to access all these features

Tsotofamily · 06/09/2015 16:00

There 8, 7 and 3

Please
or
to access all these features

hoolaloola · 06/09/2015 22:20

It is only the middle two who currently have swimming lessons. I will let them give up when they are competent. DC1 currently does dance, gym and hockey. DC2 does swimming, piano, netball, dance and gym. DC3 swimming, gym and rugby. DC4 dance and gym. It is the dance and gym that cost the most, are the most time intensive and typically the ones they love the most!

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

Shineyshoes10 · 06/09/2015 22:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Please
or
to access all these features
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.