Mum of 5, fed up of other people's comments

[elliejjtiny]

I have 5 boys aged 9, 7, 4, 2 and 1. Normally the oldest 2 are at school so I just have the younger 3 but it's the holidays now so I'm out and about with all 5 fairly regularly as the house gets really messy with 5 children in it for long periods of time . Everywhere we go I get "are they all yours?", "you must be mad", "you look exhausted" etc. One person pointed me out to her DD and said "look, this lady has 5 children and they're all boys". It's driving me mad. So I thought I'd come here and talk to people who don't think I'm a freak of nature.

I guess you're just unusual - I only know one person who has five DC (although I know three who have four). It must get very wearing. I'm from a blended family of five and we used to get similar whispered comments when we went out all together. I remember my step-mother buying five beanbags one Christmas and the sales assistants were apparently all whispering behind the till 'That woman has got FIVE children!!'.

I've almost got 5 - I'm pregnant with a New Year's Eve bump - so I think you're very reasonable and not at all freak of nature-y!

NYE baby will be #5, I should have said

I think sometimes people just say things for the sake of it and don't mean to offend. I have 3 boys and constantly get comments. Plus sometimes I do find them overwhelming so people are correct that is exhausting/challenging-not that I need it pointed out! People make equally daft comments about only children, all girls, twins, blended families. I know a mum who has two boys, one quite severely disabled. People constantly say 'how do you cope' 'I couldn't do it' etc I think generally people are just filling the spaces in conversation.

This morning, happily, younger two boys are playing cars, one is still asleep and Dd is at a sleepover. So I have tea and mumsnet. So I feel lucky (for now) they have siblings to entertain each other

I have 5, although older now we used to get loads of comments like you. I just smiled and kept on my way! I was taken aback once when we walked past a huge crowd of tourist and the tour guide started singing one of the songs from the Sound of Music and made some comment about us being the Von Trapp family of our town!

I like being different, so it never really bothered me, but just wantt o let you know that you aren't freaky, just enjoy your boys!

I also have 5 dc.

We went to the park tues & got stared at so I know how you feel- it was mainly because they are so loud though!

I've almost got 5 too, she's due beginning of October and like you we get so many comments. And guess what?! They're all girls except my eldest. If it's not about the size of our family, it's comments about the size of me or "Haven't you figured out what's causing that yet?!" And even reminding my poor wee boy how awful it is to have all sisters. He tells them in no uncertain terms that he loves them all.

It can be annoying and sometimes offensive but I've learnt to suck up my feelings and smile. When they are particularly rude, I've bitten but generally say nothing.

You are certainly not a freak there are a few families in our school with 'big' families so just go about your own business and ignore them. Most of the time I don't have time to worry about what other people think!

I get the same comments too fern.

My personal favourite is asking if we have a TV!!!!

Just ignore them OP.

I have 4 Dds aged between 8-3. My holiday mantra is, "yes, they are all mine. No, no twins. Yes, they were all planned."

I can deal with most of the comments except for the ones that sympathise with my husband for having a house of girls, express sadness that I will never have a son . I find that really quite rude, especially when said within earshot of my children. I actually quite like having 4 of the same gender, no need to make my dcs feel that they are unwanted.

Yep five here as well, I hear you.

We have four boys and one girl, she is number five, so we get lots of you finally got a girl, or you kept goung till you got a girl no we wanted a large family, gender was irrelevant.

Thankyou everyone. I think the most shocking comment was by an old lady on the bus who asked if they were all boys and then said "better get your husband some tighter pants love". Increases the chance of conceiving a girl apparently, not that I'd asked for advice! DS1 is usually good at quick responses while I just sit there with my mouth open. I love having 5 boys, although I sometimes borrow one of my nieces if I need a "pink fix"!

I have 6 dc. I just smile & nod.

People just don't realise how intrusive they are being.

Ignore, ignore, ignore!

I took my 4 DD's into town today on my own, so it was obvious that they were all mine. The tiniest is 8 weeks old and cried in her pushchair. Nobody said anything , but I got lots of looks. People just stare, not helpful when I was trying to be a good mother and take my daughters out to the library and for a slice of cake. They weren't running around screaming, just the baby crying.

I have 4 and currently pregnant with number 5 and the temptation to take them out with 'free to good home' labels on them is immense. We get quizzed all the time and my husband has now put it down to jealousy. His theory is, as it gets mentioned a lot, that people don't like the fact that we must have a big house and a big car and that our shopping bill must be huge. Now these are all assumptions on the askers side because in reality we live a comfortable life where we all have room to breathe but by no means do we have everything supersized. It does make me laugh though when DH is approached and his auto response now is 'well you either got it or you ain't"

I've just had DC number 6. I now have 5DDs and 1 DS. Get comments on a daily basis usually along the lines of - "your poor DS, your poor DH, are they all his, you need to get a TVetc"

However after returning to school after the summer break, 2 mums accosted me and informed me I was destroying the planet with my huge brood - I was too speechless to reply!

Also, hardly anyone has congratulated me on the birth if DC6

I would love 5, I currently have 4. We live in a small town so everyone knows us. They don't comment, but when away I have heard the comments or had to look at someone in the eyes and think to myself "do you really think you're original".

What is it with the TV comment?

Trurouge I love your DH's response.

We have 5 but there's 15 years between 4&5 so people assume she's an only.

The other 4 were all born within 5.5 years so we used to get stupid comments all the time.

Oh, I love the bug-eyed comments and the flat-out rude questions. It's hilarious, like people's comfortable world view has been utterly shattered, haha!

It did take me a while to stop fuming over a comment made by the nosey neighbour a few doors down. When I was pregnant with #5 she asked me if it was on purpose - "Yes! We love children!" as she turned away in confusion. Also, when littlest dd was born (we have four girls and a boy) she tsked and said "What a shame" to my son, as if it's a terrible burden to have all sisters.

But whatever. I have an amazing family full of excitement and crazy fun. Yes, it's hard work, but everything worthwhile is.

I don't have a large family, but I'm from one. My parents have a few more than you do and always had the same comments. People say it to me too "you have how many siblings?! Your parents are crazy!" or the TV comment lol.
My family always found it funny. When people would see our tribe on family outings, the reactions and looks were so funny! When I was a young child, I was always surprised at my friends who came from families of 1-3 children. It's just what you're used to I guess.

At the end of the day though, as a parent, people will always find something to comment on, whether it's family size, family values, discipline, whatever...they'll have something to say because they do it differently. You just can't let it get to you. Just enjoy your kids and don't mind what others have to say.